First
by CapnBrie
Summary: Upon moving in with his sister, Mello switches schools. At his new school, he meets several of his sister's strange friends. And a lazy, unmotivated gamer. Asexual Mello finds said gamer oddly attractive. Told in Mello's POV. AU. MelloxMatt. Yaoi. M for smut.
1. Chapter 1

**Part One**

_**Mello**_

* * *

**Chapter One**

Damn was this bed comfortable, I didn't want to wake up, no not quite yet. I snuggled deeper into the plush blanket and happily sighed. I always loved the mornings, how the sun stained the sky a deep red and how quiet everything was. It was the only consistent thing in my life. Not like I would admit that to anyone. My thoughts shattered as the door slammed against the wall, probably making as dent in the wall. "Mello!" I heard my sister yell in her shrill voice. The heavy scent of her vanilla perfume clung to the air and filled my lungs like thick fog. I gagged. "Melly! Why are you still sleeping! Get your butt out of bed!" A fluffy pillow was thrown against my head. "We're going to be late for school!"

I groaned, "Five more minutes, Misa."

That earned me another pillow to the face, "No! Get up, lazy butt!"

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I sat up. My older sister had a look on her face that was probably supposed to be a glare and an oversized pillow in her small hands. I put my hands up in surrender, "I'm up, I'm up. Now go away so I can get dressed."

Misa scowled, but it then turned to a smile. "Okay. Just hurry up. You wouldn't want to be late on your first day." She dropped the pillow and skipped out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Staying with my sister was something else and extremely pink and vanilla. Even the room I now called mine was pink. She was a model and her father - no not mine - had bought her a condo so she could have some privacy. Personally, I thought it was his way of saying "Misa, I love you, but you're fucking annoying." He still visits her, once a week on Saturday. I didn't blame him, because what kind of man would he be if he disowned his daughter? My father on the other hand, had kicked me out because I "Reminded him too much of Klara". I looked exactly like her, tall, slender, blond hair and blue eyes. Except, my mother had curves, like my sister. But Misa was short with blonde hair and brown eyes, to call her fat would be inaccurate. She did have fat on her, but in all the desirable places, a perfect hourglass figure. The exact reason why she was a model like our mother.

I changed quickly into a pair of black skinny jeans and a loose fitting shirt. I examined myself in the mirror and ran a brush through my hair. I was attractive, I knew it and so did the rest of the world. The thing was, I didn't find anyone else attractive. If they were appealing to look at, they were usually stupid. My sister being example A. And people who were smart weren't worth a passing glance. I was blessed with both looks and intelligence. Thank you, mom and dad.

"Mels, are you coming? Hurry up, jerk!" Misa squealed from somewhere in the house.

"Let me just brush my teeth, then I'll be ready!" I yelled back and stepped out of my room only to be met by a scrutinizing Misa.

She looked me up and down and wrinkled her small nose, "Ew. Is that what you're wearing, Mihael?"

I looked down at my attire, I didn't see anything wrong with it. "Yes."

She groaned, "I'm taking you shopping after school."

"Good, then you can invest in some perfume that _doesn't_ smell like decaying fish." _Maybe I could get some red paint for my room too,_ I thought.

Misa rolled her eyes, which were covered by violet contact lenses, and dragged me out of the house.

"Wait, Misa! I still have to brush my teeth!"

"Chew on a piece of gum. We're going to be late." She hopped into her car and started it. It was a girly car and I was embarrassed to even be close to it. It was a pure white, Volkswagen Eos that her daddy bought her last year for her sixteenth birthday. Actually, I was surprised it wasn't pink like the interior of her entire house. "Well, hurry up, Mello!" she said impatiently. Sighing, I got in and crossed my arms over my chest, this was going to be a long day. "Don't be so grumpy, Mels."

"Shut up, Misa."

"Oh, is someone mad because they woke up too early?" she asked in a voice that one would use to talk to a baby.

"I said shut up." I hadn't gotten my chocolate this morning and _that_ was a problem in itself. A Mello without chocolate was a pissed off Mello. I mean, I already did act like I was pissed off at the world, but without chocolate, I would probably kill someone.

"Fine. Don't expect me to show you around and introduce you to people."

"I can handle it by myself." When we got to school, there was no one in the halls, the bell must have rang. I found my first class without Misa's help, like I had said I would. When I walked into the class, advanced calculus, the students stared at me, but the teacher just nodded. "You can sit next Mr. Jeevas in the back," he pointed, but I couldn't tell which guy he was pointing to. The teacher seemed to notice this so he changed his voice to a loud and commanding tone, like one you would expect from an army official. "MR. JEEVAS!"

A guy with auburn hair and goggles jumped, "W-what?" he stuttered. The class sniggered.

I sighed and went back to my new seat. The auburn haired kid was staring down at some gaming device. What the hell was with this guy? It wasn't that he was stupid, he just seemed lazy and didn't give a damn what the teacher was talking about. He just sat there and played his games, but would glance over at me every couple of minutes. With twenty minutes of class to spare, the teacher told us to partner up. I looked around the room, searching for someone to work with. Seeing everyone already had a partner, I decided to work on my own. Before I even picked up my pencil, I heard the guy next to me say, "Wanna work together?"

"No," I said harshly and started working. Ten minutes later, I had all but five problems done. Someone on my left laughed.

"You're slow," he said, with a hint of hysteria in his voice. I took my eyes away from the page and saw the auburn haired guy leaning back in his chair, booted feet kicked up on the desk and his fingers twirling a pencil around. "I'm Matt." he said, still laughing.

"Shut the hell up. I'm working," I growled. And he did.

The morning classes dragged on until it was finally lunch time. In the cafeteria, I didn't have the slightest clue where I could sit. So, I walked over to a group of freshmen and glared at them. They all scampered away with their trays, trying to stay as far away from me as they could. I laughed quietly to myself and plopped down at the now empty table. Looking down at my low quality school food, I suddenly became less hungry. God, I hated this place.

"Hey, Mihael!" A shrill voice greeted me. Well, there goes my alone time.

I sighed and met my sister's eyes, "Hi, Misa." I noticed her arm was linked with someone else's. He was tall, almost a foot taller than Misa.

"Oh! This is my boyfriend, Light!" She smiled, "Light, this is my brother."

"Hello." he said in a smooth voice.

_Light_? Did she say _Light_? "Hi." I said carelessly.

Misa smacked me upside the head with her dainty hand. "Be nice!" she then turned to her boyfriend, "Sorry, he's just cranky because he didn't get his chocolate this morning."

I rolled my eyes, "Well maybe if someone wasn't so obnoxious I could get some sleep at night." It didn't have anything to do with her previous statement, but I didn't care.

There was soft laughter coming from the other side of the table. My eyes shot up to the source, "What are _you_ doing here, asshole?"

Matt just shrugged. There was a hint of a smile on his lips, making me even more irritated.

"Mels, don't be so mean to everyone!" Misa exclaimed and hit me again. "He eats with us everyday."

"Who is 'us'?"

Misa put a finger to her lips for a moment to think, then ticked off the names on her fingers, "Let's see.. Me, Light, L, Beyond, Nate, A, Matty-kins and now you!"

Just then a tall man with spiky black hair and terrible posture came up to us and sat down. He drew his knees to his chest and gave me an assessing look. He didn't say anything, just stared at me with large, dark eyes. Did Misa have any normal friends? The table quickly filled up, each person even more strange than the last. "Okay, now that everyone is here," Misa said cheerfully, "Let's all introduce ourselves. First with our name and something we like. I'll go first!" she smiled. "I'm Misa Amane and I love Light and shopping!" She looked over at Light, "Your turn, sweetie."

Light rolled his eyes, "Light Yagami, I like justice."

Next was the man was spiky hair and black eyes, "L and sweets."

"Nate." said a young white haired boy, adding nothing else.

"Beyond," purred a man who looked much like L, the only difference was his eye color, "I love strawberry jam and A." And as if to emphasize it he placed a loud and obnoxious kiss on the brown haired boy beside him, then scooped some jam out of a jar with his fingers. I cringed, how disgusting. A didn't say a word, so Matt cut in.

"Matt," his voice was shy, quiet, "And, uh.. Video games."

Misa clapped her hands, "Good!" She turned her back to me and began whisper things into her boyfriend's ear. I rolled my eyes and shut out the sound. Well, at least I thought I had.

"Um, hi," said a low voice.

I glanced up and saw Matt blushing furiously. "Hi?"

"Um.." his blush deepened as he bit his lip. Damn was this kid awkward and kind of... Cute? Wait, did I just say I thought he was _cute_? "You never told me your name."

"Mello." I said bluntly.

He gave a small smile and said nothing more. He just tugged on his lip with his teeth and went back to playing his games.

After lunch, Misa pulled me aside, "What was that, Mello?" she hissed.

"What the hell did I do?"

"You can't treat Matt like that!"

"Like what?" Maybe everyone here was crazy, even my sister. Or maybe I was the crazy one.

"You totally blew him off!"

"I did not. I hardly said two words to the damn kid!"

"Exactly my point. You better be nicer to him."

"Why are you being so protective over him?" I smirked, "Oh. I get it."

"Get what?" Misa demanded.

"You like him." I loved making fun of her. She was my sister, after all.

For the first time in my life, I saw rage flash in her eyes, "How dare you say that!" she yelled, causing everyone in the hallway to stop what they were doing and stare. "Mihael Keehl! You are disgusting! You know I love my Light more than anyone else in the world!"

"Shut up, Misa!" Assuming she would listen to me had been a mistake on my part. Her eyes darkened.

"I don't care! You take back what you said!" she began hitting me with her tiny hands. "Take. It. Back!" she said punctuating each word with a slap to my chest.

"Fine. I'm sorry, Misa." I said sarcastically.

She crossed her arms in front of her and stuck out her tongue like a child, "Good." Sometimes, it was hard to believe that she was a year older than me. "Come on. Miss K is going to give me detention if I'm late again." She dragged me down the hall and into a classroom. There were tables arranged in rows. Each table fit two people. There were also two fridges and seven ovens in the room. Each oven had counter space, a microwave, a sink and cupboards. I had forgotten I had Foods and Nutrition after lunch. I saw the people from my new lunch group were in this class too, save for Nate. A and Beyond were seated up front, two rows back sat L and a pretty red headed girl. I would have continued analyzing who sat where, but Misa pulled me down into my seat. Miss K, as Misa had called her, took attendance and said, "Class, today we will be examining both of the food pyramids," her voice was monotonous and boring, "Also each of the food groups." she began to pass out work sheets, one for each pair. "You will be working with your table partners and using the book to find the answers."

When we received our worksheet, I began to neatly write both our names in my neat handwriting. _Mihael Keehl & Mis-_ Misa snatched the pencil out of my hand, "What the hell, Misa?"

"I'm not working with you. I'm working with Light."

"Then who the hell am I working with?"

She smiled in a sinister way, "Be right back," with a wink, she skipped away. I followed her with my gaze as she walked over to her boyfriend. He already had someone sitting beside him. Dark auburn hair, pale skin, striped sweatshirt- Oh hell no. Misa came back with a broad grin and a blushing Matt. "Here you go, Mello. Your new partner," another wink. She sat Matt down, "You two have fun!~" Her eyes flickered to me, "_Behave._" I watched her leave. Why did she have to do this to me?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

I looked at Matt and sighed, "God, she's such a bitch."

Matt looked surprised, "Who? Misa?"

"Yes." I grumbled.

His eyes went wide, "Why do you say that? She's the nicest person I know."

"She puts me in uncomfortable situations."

"Oh.." he murmured, "I'm sorry."

I mentally kicked myself, "I didn't meant it like that."

"Then what did you mean?" he sounded genuinely curious.

"It doesn't matter. Let's just get to work." I scrubbed out the start of Misa's name and began to write _Matt._ "Uh, Matt, how do you spell your last name?"

He slid the paper from underneath my hand, "Oh," he laughed, "Can I barrow the pencil?"

"What's so funny?"

"My name isn't Matt, it's Mile." he chuckled and gently erased his name, then rewrote it. He slid the paper back over. I looked it over, his name was next to mine in slightly messy, bold letters. _**Mail Jeevas**_. I couldn't help but smile.

"Huh," I said, more to myself than to him, "M-A-I-L. Interesting." I took my eyes off his name and brought them to his face, about to say something further, but it was lost when I caught sight of his indigo eyes. There were multiple dimensions of color in his eyes. They were a deep, oxford blue with streaks of cobalt and flecks of sapphire. His eyes seemed to glow with the electric current that was his soul. The colors glimmered, like the ocean in the sun. His lashes were long and dark and made the blue stand out even more. Something in my stomach fluttered and my blood started to raise a few degrees. I shook my head, trying to clear it. "Whoa. What?" I saw Matt blushing and I felt warmth in my cheeks too.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry," I looked down, trying to avoid looking at him, and drummed my fingers against the tabletop.

"I'll, uh, go and grab a book." He said nervously and stood up too quickly, causing his chair to fall over. His blush turned from red to crimson and he scampered off.

Looking over the worksheet, I realized how simple it was.

_According to the old food pyramid, the categories were grains (6-11 serv.), fruits (__2-4 serv.),_

_vegetables__ (3-5 serv.), proteins (2-3 serv.), __dairy (2-3 serv.)__, and oils (used sparingly)._

Damn was this mindless. I saw that Matt had returned, his face still slightly pink. "This stuff is so simple." I complained, trying not to look at him.

"Let me see," he said and took the pencil from me, his hand brushing against mine. A chill ran up my spine and gave me goosebumps. "You cold?" Matt asked, eying my arm.

"No, I'm fine."

From the corner of my eye, I saw his top teeth bite into the delicate skin of his lower lip, "You can, um, use my sweatshirt if you want."

"No, I'm fine, really," I reassured him.

He took it off anyway, revealing pale, muscled arms, "Just take it."

"Fine." I said with acid and snatched it from his hands and slipped into it. It was warm and soft and smelled of Matt. Sweet, but bitter, like dark chocolate, except, it didn't smell like chocolate. More of the clean, crispness of ice and warmth of cloves, but masked with a smoky scent. Like a winter day spent by the fire and drinking hot chocolate. I smiled to myself as we set to work. We finished in seven minutes, so I people watched. I noticed how Light looked passed Misa and towards L. As if he were trying to catch his attention or needed to tell him something important. I came to the conclusion that he liked L a lot more than Misa. It was disgusting. You don't ever date a girl you're not interested in. I shifted my gaze to Beyond and A. Their heads were close and Beyond had his arm around A, holding him close, protecting him. Now that was how couples were supposed to act. I wondered how Matt and I looked to other people.

"What are you thinking about?" Matt's voice made me jump.

"How disgusting Light is."

"What do you mean?"

"It's obvious he doesn't like my sister. He likes L."

"Misa's your sister?" Matt seemed shocked.

"Yes. Is it so surprising?"

"W-well. N-no. Sort of. Maybe. Yeah," he looked as if he were sifting through his brain, "Misa's so.. I don't know, exuberant? Yeah, exuberant. And you're more..."

"Pushy?" I offered.

"No, not pushy. More, subdued?" he nodded to himself, deciding that was the word.

"Trust me, we're both very passionate, we just show it in different ways. I do anger and she does, well, whatever that is." I motioned towards Misa, who was currently bouncing up and down in her chair.

Matt chuckled, still watching her. Shaking his head, he turned back to me, "She is so funny!"

"Strange, more so."

"Er, that's what I meant." After a moment he smirked, "See any cute girls?"

I looked around the room, none of the girls were appealing. "No. Do you?"

"Well, your sister is pretty cute, but I don't swing that way. I play for the other team." He smirked and shook his head.

"You're... Gay?" I couldn't believe it!

Matt laughed, "Sure am. Surprising, huh?"

"You just don't seem like the type to, uh, well be like that." It felt like the air between us had become closer. Closer and more awkward.

"I'm the straightest gay guy I know," he gave me a large smile, showing off his perfectly straight, white teeth. "What about you? Innies or outies?"

Oh good Lord! The kid even used awkward terminology. But what was I? Did I like girls or guys? I honestly had never thought about it. I glanced around the room, trying to see if the girls were appealing, they weren't and neither were the guys. I looked back at Matt. He was dorky and awkward, but he did have charm. Especially in those dark blue eyes, which were now covered by orange goggles. His skin was flawless, his lips full, his nose with a perfect slant to it. He was the only one I had ever deemed 'attractive', other than myself, of course. Well, I guess I'm Matt-Sexual, huh? Matt-Sexual? Really? No, I did _not _just think that. I just shrugged, "Guess I'm asexual."

He raised his eyebrows, as if he were challenging what I said. "Really? Well, that's cool." He gave a shrug, like we were talking about the weather.

"So, does Misa, uh, know?"

"Yup, she sure does. She loves to take me shopping and she likes trying to set me up on dates. _That _never goes over well."

Then I remembered something, "Dammit!"

"What? Did _you_ want to go on a date with me?" He wiggled his eyebrows. Once the kid got out of his shy mask, he sure wasn't afraid to say what he felt.

I pretended I hadn't heard. "I have to go shopping with her after school. She's determined that I dress like a slob." I buried my head in the crook of my elbow on the table. "Kill. Me. Now." I felt his hand on my back, causing a seemingly electric current to ebb through my back. I jolted away, "Don't touch me."

He looked surprised and hurt for a moment, then laughed, "Don't worry, gay isn't contagious."

The bell rang and I sprang up, "I'd better get this damn shopping trip over with," I grumbled and made my way to an impatient looking Misa on the other side of the room.

"Gosh, someone's slow today," she joked.

"I'm not in the mood, Misa," I snapped as we exited the building.

She pouted, "You're no fun, Mels." Once we were in her car, she gave me a big, creepy grin and stared at me like doll.

"What?" I asked, her smile just broadened. "What are you staring at, creep?" Still no reply, "What the hell do you want, freak?" I nearly yelled.

Misa frowned, "No, no. I'm not going to tell you unless you ask nicely, Mihael."

I rolled my eyes, "Fine. Tell me now. _Please._"

"Much better!" she beamed.

"Well?"

She pulled out of the school parking lot and drove away. Once on the main road she said, "So, you and Matty-kins, huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're wearing his sweatshirt," she smirked.

I glanced down and saw the geek's black and white stripes, "Dammit. I forgot to give it back to him."

"You like him, don't you?" she urged.

I glared at her, "I do not!"

"You look at him like he's perfection," she giggled.

"He just has nice eyes, is all." I mumbled too quietly for her to hear. Then said, "Is there any chocolate in here? I'm dying."

"Um, I think there might be some in that door thingy." she said, pointing to the glove box. I opened it and dug through it. Three bottles of perfume, about ten lipsticks, two hairbrushes, receipts, a condom, hairbands and packet of lube. Gross, I did not need to know that about her. I kept digging and pulled out a string of silver and red beads. Examining it, I noticed the silver beads were small and the large red seemed to be rubies, however, I couldn't tell if they were real or not. Either way, it looked extremely expensive. Why would she have this? "Misa, what's this?"

"Hm?" she glanced over, "Oh, it's a rosary. It was mom's."

"Why is it in here?" How could she treat something of our mother's so carelessly?

"Daddy had given it to me and I thought it was ugly. Must have thrown it in there, I guess." She said with a shrug. "You can have it if you want."

I slipped it over my head and tucked it underneath my shirt, feeling the cool metal pressed to my skin. It reminded me of the rosary bracelet my mother gave me the day before she died. Actually, I think they were a set. I had another one of my mother's rosaries back in my room in a box. It was made of black nickel and dark amethyst. It was still beautiful, but not as beautiful as the one I was now wearing.

After shopping for six hours, we finally returned home. I was carrying all the shopping bags except the one the contained Misa's lingerie. I dropped the bags in the entryway, glad we hadn't bought anything fragile. I convinced Misa to get a new perfume, it was some strong flowery scent, but hey, it wasn't nasty vanilla. I began to climb the stairs, but my sister's shrill voice stopped me, "Where are you going?"

"To take a shower?" I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Bring these bags upstairs!"

"Leave me alone Misa, I'm tired."

"Stop being so crabby all the time, jerk."

It took all of my willpower to ignore her comment and walk away. After my long, hot shower, I tied a towel around my waist and crossed the hall into my room. I tossed my clothes into my hamper and threw Matt's sweatshirt onto my bed. While changing into a pair of loose sweatpants, I heard conversation from downstairs float up to my room. I only caught snippets of it. Misa's high pitched voice, clearly talking more quietly than she normally did and a lower one that I could hardly hear. I had two options; I could either go investigate or hideout up here like a coward. There was no way in hell that I, Mihael Keehl, was a coward. Tiptoeing down the stairs, the conversation became more clear. "So, what do you think?" Misa asked.

"He's kind of -" the next word I couldn't hear, "but I like him." A low chuckle was given and followed by, "Did you see the way he looked at me?"

Misa giggled, "Yes! I know he likes you! I just know it."

I quietly backtracked up the stairs and made as much noise I possibly could going back down. "Hey, Misa?" I called.

"Down here, Mihael!" Misa cried happily.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I looked around the living room. Misa, several books and papers scattered around the the coffee table, pencils, some gaming device, Matt. I didn't know she was so into school work, but it seemed pretty normal to me. Wait, _Matt_? Was I not even safe in my own damn home? "Why is _he_ here?" I glared at him, or at least I hoped I was. I crossed my arms and realized I was half naked. Oh fucking great. My irritation intensified. No chocolate today, being stuck in a school full of halfwits, realizing I was possibly attracted to a _guy_, and now said guy was sitting in my fucking living room with a cheeky grin on his face. Damn did I want to punch that look off his face. I was about to say so, but Misa cut in.

"Mello, go take some Midol to ease up those PMS symptoms you're having," her voice full of agitation. "You know, Matt was kind enough to bring you some chocolate, but I don't think you deserve it."

I felt my eyes widen with shock, "Whereisit?" I saw Matt bite back a grin, causing me to growl lowly.

Misa rolled her eyes, "It's in the freezer."

I took off for the kitchen, my stocking covered feet sliding on the floor as I came to a halt in front of the freezer. I yanked the door open and saw a large bar of chocolate. _Thank you, Jesus_, I thought, ripping off the wrapper and instantly snapping off a piece of chocolaty goodness with my teeth. The taste of the delicious melting dark chocolate in my mouth made me give a small moan of delight. _Holy fuck, I felt like I hadn't had this stuff in years._ I checked the wrapper and realized this was my favorite brand and I really hadn't had it in years. My father had stopped buying me expensive, imported chocolate when I was thirteen for some reason I had long forgotten. _Matt bought this? How did he know?_

"Enjoying yourself?"

I nearly choked. "Don't scare me like that." I murmured and took another bite of chocolate. "By the way, thanks." I cast a look over to where Matt was standing.

He sauntered deeper into the kitchen, then paused to hop up onto the counter top. "Of course."

"How did you know, anyway?"

"Know what?"

"What kind of chocolate I liked."

"Oh," he shrugged, "I just guessed."

I raised my eyebrows suspiciously, "You don't just guess that someone's favorite chocolate is imported German chocolate. And you most certainly do not guess the percentage someone likes."

Matt smiled, "Okay, I called Misa for the brand, I guessed on the percentage."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the freezer door, taking another bite of chocolate. "You're amazing," I mused.

"I know," he replied cockily. We sat in quiet for awhile while I ate my chocolate bar. Then Matt's voice seeped through the thick silence that had come between us, "Let me ask you something."

I was more or less surprised that he stated it instead of asked it. "Sure."

"Today in Foods and Nutrition," he started. I tensed up. _Please, please don't bring up me staring at you. _"Were you mad at Misa because she made you partner up with me?"

Relief washed over me like a hurricane. "No, just irritated because she was so rude about it." I said truthfully.  
"Okay, good." He said, "Because otherwise I'd have to kill you."

I gave him a sidelong glance, "Really now?"

"No, not really," he gave a short laugh, "You'd probably kill me first."

"You're right, I would."

I heard him slide off the counter, "I have another question." His voice was closer, maybe three feet away.

"Ask it," I said with a wave of my hand.

I could feet Matt close to me. In fact, I could feel his body heat radiating off of him and smell his wintry scent. My eyes snapped open, meeting his deep cobalt ones. I froze, not knowing what to do and feeling oddly exposed standing there without a shirt on. Matt had a tinge of red creeping up his neck, looking nervous, "Would you, um.." he looked down and gave a small laugh while scratching the back of his head. "Would you like to, maybe, um," he flicked his gaze back to me, "Go on a d-" he bit back the word with a guilty expression. "I mean, go to a club with me?"

I blinked in confusion. A club? How random, but so completely suspicious. "Sounds great. But how did you plan on getting in, idiot?"

"Well, I, uh, was hoping you didn't have a problem with fake ID's." He gave me a stupid grin.

It wasn't that I had a problem with breaking the law, because honestly, I didn't. I just didn't want to get caught and ruin my life. _Ah, live a little, Mihael._ I thought to myself and shrugged. "Sure. When?"

"Tomorrow. I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Okay." I was still curious of his motives, but I didn't question it.

"Cool," he glanced at the clock on the stove, "Damn. Well, I need to get home. See you tomorrow." He smiled and waved. I just nodded and followed him out of the kitchen, but took a turn to the stairs. I laid in bed and closed my eyes, feeling a little pulse of excitement in my veins before being encased in the thick blackness I knew as sleep.

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**A/N: Chapter two! So, I would reply to the reviews I have gotten so far, but I can't seem to figure out how to . I apologize for that, I'll try to figure it out as soon as possible!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"So, why was Matt over last night?" I asked Misa on our way to school. The sky was overcast and it looked as if it would rain at any moment.

She yawned, "He's always over after school."

I didn't know if I should have been happy or not. "Oh." Conversation was at a minimal that day. Both of us were too tired to care about anything other than getting through the day. Class was boring as expected and nothing particularly interesting happened. During lunch I had noticed students leaving to go sit in the courtyard. So I decided to leave the confines of the brick building and bask in the small amount of sunlight that filtered through the heavy clouds. I laid back against the concrete and closed my eyes, letting my thoughts drift off.

I felt something wet drip onto my face. Disgusted, I quickly wiped it off. The drops kept falling, increasing in frequency by the second. Sitting up, I forced my eyes open. The school grounds were deserted, no cars in the parking lot, no one walking outside, no nothing. Nothing except the soggy ground and dreary sky. What the hell happened? I checked the time: **3:15. **Damn, school had been out for almost an hour. I stood up and began walking home, hoping that I wouldn't get drenched by the time I got there. Thunder rumbled in the sky and the slow drizzle turned into a heavy downpour. _Fan-fucking-tastic_. As I picked up my pace, so did the rain. Nearly an hour and several wrong turns later, I finally arrived at my sister's condo. The door was locked and apparently, I didn't have my key with me. Why must everything go wrong _today_? My bad luck just couldn't have waited until tomorrow, could it? I pounded on the door, "Misa! Misa, open the damn door!" I yelled, "I swear if you don't open this door-! Goddammit! MISA, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!"

The door slowly opened and revealed a disheveled Misa. "Why are you being so loud?" she asked, stifling a yawn. "Wait, where have you been all day? And why didn't you tell me you and Matt had a date?" Her eyes widened with shock as if she finally took in my appearance. "Ohmigosh! What happened to you?" She pulled me inside, slamming the door shut. Yeah, and _I _was the one being loud. "Wait there," Misa held up a finger and disappeared down the hall. She returned with several fluffy white towels and threw one at me. "What happened, Mihael?" Her big, doll-like eyes were concerned. "Tell me everything. Why weren't you in class? Where were you?" My sister's tone turned from worried to accusing.

"I fell asleep outside at lunch." I said gruffly.

"Why are you soaked?"

"I jumped in a lake, Misa." I said sarcastically. "Why the hell do you think? It's fucking raining outside and _someone_ didn't even bother to fucking look for me." My anger was increasing with each word, "And _then_, I had to fucking _walk_ home in the pouring rain!" I growled.

"Don't be mad," Misa said in a small voice. "I thought you went home with Matt."

"Don't be _mad_? Trust me, I'm not _mad_." She looked relieved. "I'm beyond _mad_, Misa. I'm fucking _pissed_!"

"I'm sorry, Mello! I didn't know!" She cried desperately. "I'm sorry." Misa pouted and her brown eyes got watery, "I'm so sorry, Mihael. Forgive me?"

"_No_!" I snarled and stormed upstairs, slamming my door as a crack of thunder sounded outside. I flopped down on my bed, still soaking wet, but too fucking enraged to give a damn. There was a small knock on my door. "Go away!"

"Mihael? I'm s-sorry," Misa's voice was muffled through the door, but I could still hear her sniffle. "I-I brought you some hot ch-chocolate." She whimpered. Was she _crying_? "I p-put extra chocolate syrup and some of that expensive chocolate Matt bought you in it t-too."

Sighing, I opened the door to see my sister standing there with a tear streaks running down her cheeks and a white coffee mug in her hands. My anger dissolved, "Hey, don't cry."

"Y-you're not.. mad?"

I took a deep breath, "No, it's not your fault. I was the dipshit who fell asleep at lunch." I gave a small smile.

"So you're not mad?"

"I told you I'm not."

"Yay!" she squealed and gave me a hug with surprising strength. The hot chocolate sloshed around in the cup, threatening to spill over the edge and onto the light carpet. "Now let's get you ready for that date!"

I raised an eyebrow, "What date?"

"Your date with Matt! Don't tell me you forgot." She frowned.

"It's not a date. We're going to a club." Matt didn't say anything about this being a date. It didn't sound like he had implied it either.

"You're so stupid, Mels! You don't know the first thing about relationships, do you?"

I sneezed, "I'm not going anyway, so it doesn't matter." Did it just get colder in here?

Misa scowled, "You are going on this date, whether you like it or not. But you'd better like it!"

"I don't feel well, Misa. I don't want to get Matt sick." I doubted I was sick, but I didn't want to take any chances.

"Oh, so you do care about him?" she gave a sly grin.

"I do not." I grumbled.

"Go take a shower, then we can get you ready!"

"Misa, I'm not-" She pushed me in the direction of the bathroom, "Shower. Now." I gave up and took a boiling hot shower, trying to get the heat back into my body. It didn't work. I still felt chilled to the bone by the time I had used up all the hot water. What was wrong with me? I changed into sweats and threw Matt's sweatshirt on. I swiped the thick comforter off my bed and wrapped it around my shoulders like a cape.

"Mello, can you come here for a second?" Misa called. I met her at the foot of the stairs. "Why aren't you dressed?" she hissed. "Matt's already here."

I craned my neck to look into the living room, seeing Matt wearing light blue baggy jeans and a red and black striped tank top. My stomach twisted itself in a knot and I suddenly felt jittery. He smiled, "Hey."

I felt my lips tug upward and before I could stop myself, I said, "Hi, Mail."

His cheeks turned a rosy pink as he made his way over to me. The corner of his mouth pulled down, "You don't look so well. Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, I feel fine."

Matt shook his head, "Liar." Then brought his hand to my face, caressing my cheek. "You have a fever." His frown intensified, "There is no way I'm taking you out tonight." I mentally cheered. "Come on." He brushed past Misa and took my hand in his. I felt my face warm and followed him to the couch. "Now, lay down right there and I will be right back."

As I waited for him to come back, I flipped on the TV, seeing some Adam Sandler movie had just started. I shrugged and set the remote back on the table and glanced over at Misa, a small smiled was played on her face. "What?"

She shrugged, "Nothing."

I rolled my eyes and saw Matt emerge from the kitchen with a cup of orange juice and a mug full of hot liquid. "What's this?" I asked as he sat down on the floor facing me.

"Just thought it'd make you feel a little better," he said with a smile and held up the mug of broth.

Why did he do stuff like this? I had just met him yesterday and yet he treated me with so much kindness. I took it, "Thanks." I took a sip and realized he was still sitting on the floor. "Uh, hey, you can sit up here if you want." I pulled my legs up, making room for him on the couch. Matt said nothing, just shrugged and sat on the opposite end. As I sipped my broth, I watched the movie playing on the screen and I realized it was a romantic comedy. _Of course. Why wouldn't it be?_ I thought to myself and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Matt asked.

"Huh? Oh, just putting this away," I held up the now empty mug.

He stood up too, "Let me do it."

"No, it's fine. I've got it."

"Okay," he agreed and flopped back down on the couch. I went to the kitchen and set the mug in the sink. There was a box on the counter with a bright orange sticky note adhered to the top.

_**To Mihael**_

_**The cold weather is coming**_

_**and I know how much you**_

_**like chocolate. Hope you enjoy.**_

_**-Matt**_

A grin spread across my face. Why was he doing this? I had hardly been nice to him. Hell, I called him an idiot and an asshole and he does _this_? Maybe I should try to be nicer to him. I shook my head and murmured, "Oh, Matt." Before I exited the kitchen, I took the note from the box of hot chocolate and folded it up then stuffed it into my pocket. In the living room, Matt was sprawled out on the couch, his face illuminated by the blue light of the TV screen. His eyes flickered to me, "Oh, hey. I hope you don't mind sharing. I was getting kind of cold." As if to emphasize this, he pulled the blanket tighter and burrowed his face into it.

Chuckling, I went over to the couch, "Well, move over so I can sit down." Matt moved his leg and pulled back the blanket. As I sat down, I asked, "Where did Misa go?"

"She went over to Light's." I made a face, "You really don't like him, huh?"

"Not really." In the process of trying to get comfortable, I fell over onto Matt. The both of us froze. I was surprised that I actually _liked_ being this close to Matt, but I sat up after a long moment anyway. "Um, sorry."

Matt shook his head, "Nah, it's fine." I could tell he wanted to say something else.

"What is it?"

"What? No, it's nothing. Don't worry." He forced a smile.

Not wanting to pry, I just left it alone. About halfway through the movie, my eyelids felt as if they had turned to lead. I rested my head on Matt's shoulder. "This okay?" I whispered, gazing up at him.

He smiled and put his arm around me, "Of course it is."

"M'kay." I said sleepily and snuggled into him. Matt pulled me into his lap and held me tightly, as if he wouldn't ever let me go. But I didn't care if he decided not to let me go. I was finally warm and, well, I felt safe for once. We stayed like that for the rest of the movie. I listened to his steady breathing as it lulled me away from the world, but kept me safe in his arms.

"Mello?" Matt's voice was quiet, as if afraid he would wake a beast up if he were too loud.

"Mm?"

"The movie is over. Do you want to go to bed?"

I shook my head, "Not yet. Just hold on a few." I hugged him tighter, then let go. "Okay." Matt helped me up and made sure I got into bed without killing myself. "Wait, Matt?" I yawned as he was about to leave.

He looked over his shoulder at me, "Yes?"

"You're not leaving, are you?"

He turned around to face me completely and knelt beside the bed. "Of course not. I would never leave you, Mihael." I felt his lips press against my forehead. "Now get some sleep." And that was exactly what I did.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for this chapter being kind of short. But I'll try to make chapter four longer to make up for it! Oh, and the movie they were watching was 50 First Dates. c:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_I walked into the sterile white hospital room. The artificial light made the room too bright and it burned my eyes. I went to the bed where my mother was laying. She looked sad and her breathing came in short rasps. I saw her only yesterday, so why did she look so much worse today? Her skin looked like a candle, all waxy and bruised. She had a blue bandana wrapped around her head. It matched her eyes, but they looked dull, like an old doll. "Hi mommy." I breathed._

_She turned her head towards me and gave a weak smile, "Mihael. I missed you."_

_"__I missed you too, mommy." I took her hand and held it in my small one. Smiling, I asked, "How are you feeling?"_

_"__Good now that you're here." I giggled and she gave a strange panting breath._

_"__Did you take your medicine today?" I asked, voicing my thoughts._

_"__Of course, sweetie."_

_"__No, I mean your other medicine."_

_She shook her head, "No, not today."_

_"__Oh, well, you'll get better, I just know it." It was supposed to be a promise. I tried to promise her she'd get better._

_"__You seem so sure, Mihael."_

_"__I am, mommy! You have to get better! Mommies aren't supposed to be sick."_

_She just shook her head as tears spilled down her sunken in cheeks. "Baby, take that bracelet sitting on the table."_

_I looked and saw a silver and red bracelet with a cross. "But that one is your favorite."_

_"__I know sweetie. I want my two favorites to be together."_

_I bit my lip and slipped it onto my wrist, "Okay."_

_"__Ya lyublyu tebya*." My mom murmured._

_"__Mihael!" I heard my father say sharply from the doorway, "Let Klara get some rest."_

_I looked at him, "Hold on, papa." Shifting my gaze back to my mother, I smiled,"Ya tozhe lyublyu tebya, mama.** I will see you tomorrow."_

_The next day, I visited my mother again. She could hardly speak or move. "Hi, mommy." I went to her bedside like always and held her hand. This time, it felt cold and it scared me, but I held it even tighter._

_"__Hi." I could barely hear her._

_"__Are you getting better?" I had remembered my father crying the night before. He cried all night and didn't get any sleep._

_"__No." Why was she crying? The salty water glimmered on her waxy yellow skin._

_"__Mama, don't cry." I begged, "I know you'll get better, you just have to." By then I was crying too. "You can't stay sick, mama. You can't! When you get better we can go to the park and feed the ducks like we used to. We can do everything and so much more because you'll get better."_

_"__Mihael, no." her eyes were beginning to close._

_"__But mama!" I hugged her tightly, "You can't leave. You can't!" I was yelling and crying and my father was trying to shut me up, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't lose my mom._

_She seemed to use the last bit of strength she had to hold my face in her hands and say, "Mihael, I'll always be with you. I love you." Her hands dropped and her eyes shut as her breathing came to a sudden halt. There was a long beep that stung my ears._

_"__Mama?" I cried. I shook her shoulders, "No! Wake up! Wake up, mommy!" I felt myself being pried from her body. "Mama!" I screamed as my father carried me down the hall._

"Mama," I whimpered as I woke up. My face and pillow were wet. I felt empty. I really didn't have anyone, did I? My mother died, my father basically disowned me, I hardly knew my sister. If I didn't have friends or family, then what did I have? My chocolate? You can't talk to chocolate, it can't comfort you when you just want to be loved. I shook my head and buried it in my damp pillow, just wanting to disappear from the world. I groaned as my alarm went off. Guess I had to get up at some point. I rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen, making myself a bowl of cereal.

"What are you doing up?" I heard Matt say from the patio door.

There was a thick smell of cigarette smoke flowing inside from the cold morning air. "School."

"You're not going to school." I heard his boot scrape against the cement outside, "Go back to bed."

"Why?" I said, not really caring about the answer.

"Because you're sick. Did you forget?" his voice was teasing.

There was that word again. _Sick. _Mama was sick and then she died. I sniffled and I felt tears well up in my eyes, "I'm sorry." I murmured.

"What? It's not your fault. Why are you apologizing?"

I shrugged and turned to go back upstairs.

"Where are you going?"

"Bed."

"Oh.. Okay.. If you need anything, let me know." Matt offered. I just nodded and trudged upstairs.

I spent the next three days lying in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom and shower. Matt would check on me and bring me food. He would try to talk to me, but I refused. On the third day of me doing nothing, Matt refused to leave until I talked to him. "Mello, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie. You're not sick anymore. You got over your cold two days ago. Tell me what's going on."

"I'm fine."

He raised his eyebrows and gave me an expectant look. "Mihael."

I sighed, "I miss her."

"Miss who? Misa? An ex-girlfriend?"

"My mom."

"Well, where is she?"

"She's dead." I said bluntly.

"Oh. I'm sorry." He fell silent and sat beside me on my bed, then smiled, "Tell me about her."

"What?" I was shocked. Why did he want to know about her?

"What was she like? What did you do together?"

"She was funny and smart and beautiful. Her name was Klara. Klara Tatiana Yolkov. She was a Russian model. That's how she met my father, he was her photographer." I gave a small smile. "Her and I would always go down to the park and feed the ducks scraps of bread. One time I tried to sneak a duckling home. I put him in my coat pocket and when we were walking back, he started quacking. My mother just started giggling and told me I couldn't keep him. When I asked why, she told me that the mommy would be sad if I took her baby. Because moms want to keep their babies with them forever." I laughed at the memory. "And every November, about six weeks before Christmas started, we decorated the house with lights and garland and paper snowflakes. The neighbors probably thought we were crazy, but that didn't matter. At least I got to spend time with her. I remember every night before bed, she would read me a Christmas story in Russian or sing me a song. She had a lovely voice. I wish I would have gotten that talent. We always prayed together before bed too. I miss her so much." I wondered why I was opening up to Matt like this, but it felt good.

"Sounds like you had a good relationship with her," Matt smiled. "What did she look like?"

I closed my eyes and pictured her, then remembered something. "See that box over there? The one by the closet?" He stood up and went to it, "Yes, that one. Bring it here." I sat up and he brought the box over. On the top was a framed picture. I gave it to Matt, "That's her."

A smile spread across his face, "Wow, she's beautiful. You look just like her."

"Yeah. But my father kicked me out because of it." I looked up toward the ceiling as if it would say the words that I couldn't.

"Seriously?" Matt asked incredulously.

"Yeah. I mean, I guess it doesn't really matter. He hardly talked to me anyway, but almost everything in that house is mom's. I'm just afraid he'll ruin it all." I gave a nonchalant shrug, but in reality, getting kicked out caused me almost as much pain I had felt the day my mother died.

"Why would he ruin it?" Matt urged.

I gave another shrug, "He has a.. Drinking problem and can get violent."

Matt pulled his orange tinted goggles down to his neck. He looked deeply into my eyes with a solemn expression. I wanted to rip my gaze from his, but I couldn't bring myself to look away from something so painstakingly beautiful. "He didn't ever hurt you, did he?" Matt's voice was soft and gentle like a slow breeze tousling the seaside air.

"N-no." I stammered. "He.. He would never do something like that." So maybe my father had hit me _once_. But he had good reason to, I had started asking him about mommy, so he slapped me. It wasn't hard or anything and I didn't blame him. He was a depressed and lonely man.

"Good."

I gave a small laugh, "This is all so stupid."

Matt was taken aback, "What is?"

"This pathetic thing I call my life." I said with another laugh. "I mean, really? I have absolutely nothing and I'm still here. Look at me," I motioned to myself, "I'm such a mess. A dead mother, an alcoholic father a sister who doesn't give a damn about me. What's the point if no one cares?"

"Mello, how could you say that?" His face contorted with pain. "People _do_ care about you."

I rolled my eyes. Matt was a great guy and all, but he had no idea what he was talking about. "Really? Enlighten me then, Mail. Who cares about me?"

"I shouldn't have to tell you, you should just know." His voice didn't waver, but there was an annoyed tone to it.

"Obviously I don't know. So just tell me."

"Hm, let me think," he said sarcastically, "Well, it couldn't be that guy who bought you expensive as shit chocolate for _no reason_. Or the guy who took care of you while you had a fucking _cold_. Of course not. Why the hell would I care about you?" Matt rolled his eyes.

I scoffed, "That's a good question. Why the hell would you care about me? I've never done anything for you. I've been a total ass to you from the start."

"I know," he mused. "But I've liked you from the moment our math teacher told you to sit next to me. I don't know _why_, but all I can say is that I do. You can call it fate or me having bad judgment or whatever the fuck you want, but that won't make me stop caring."

"But why?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

"I told you that I don't know. Maybe because the way you fucking looked at me that first day. I thought I maybe had a chance with you. Misa told me to stay away from you, but obviously I didn't listen. Maybe I should have because it would have saved me a lot of trouble." Matt shook his head slowly with a sad smirk on his face.

"Matt-" I said, but cut myself off. I didn't know what I wanted to say. That I was sorry? That I cared about him too? I didn't know if I did. How could you tell if you cared about someone.

"What?" He snapped with so much pain in his voice I could feel it seep through my entire being. "Go ahead, Mihael. Say it. I know you don't want a stupid gamer like me, no one ever does. But what they don't know is that when I say I fucking care, I mean it. And I don't care about a lot of people, believe it or not."

"Mail, that's not what-"

Matt stopped me by continuing his speech, "I know. This conversation is pointless," he stood up and fastened his goggles over his eyes. "I should leave." Making his way to the door he murmured, "Call me when you want me, or don't. Do whatever."

His hand was on the knob, "Matt!" I cried out and tried to get out of bed to stop him, but fell on the floor with a muted _thud_. "Matt, I'm sorry."

Glancing back at me over his shoulder he said, "Yeah. Me too." Then he disappeared out the door, pulling it closed behind him. I listened to the sound of his heavy footsteps pound down the staircase and slam the front door. His car engine kicked to life and sped out of the driveway as I crumbled to the floor. I inhaled the last of his scent from his sweatshirt and cried all the tears I had been holding back for twelve years. Now I truly was alone. Why the hell did I let him walk out of that door?

* * *

_*Я люблю тебя - Is Russian for "I love you"_

_**Я тоже люблю тебя, мама - Is Russian for "I love you too, mom"_

* * *

**A/N: Alright, so a few things I want to say. 1.) This chapter would have been posted ****much**** sooner, but I was having technical problems that prevented me from doing so 2.) This chapter was really hard for me to write because, well, it was making me sad and not wanting to write it ****at all**** 3.) In case you hadn't figured it out, the beginning part in italics was a dream/memory 4.) If the Russian is incorrect, please tell me so I can fix it 5.) Finally, thanks for all the lovely reviews so far, they are greatly appreaciated! ^_^**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Misa stopped talking to me and she would hardly glance my way. She made me walk to and from school everyday, no matter what the weather was. I guess this was karma at it's finest. No one talked to me at the lunch table either. Nate would openly mock me and Misa would laugh along. Light never said anything and Beyond and A would be off in their own strawberry jam covered world. It was like I had never even been there. L, however, would stare at me with his large, dark panda eyes. I felt like I was being tested for something with the way he stared. Matt hadn't been at school for the past two weeks and I honestly can say I wish I wouldn't have said anything. Hell, I could have sat there and talked about my mom. If I had done that, what was the worst that could have happened? I would have cried? At least then he would have held me close and told me it's okay to cry. Then he would have suggested we do something and we would have and we would be happy. But I had to open my damned mouth and say something that caused him to leave. God, this was all my fault. That's why I had come up with a plan.

Saturday rolled around and I woke up around ten, then hurried to get ready. I rushed down to the living room where Misa and her father were sitting and to the front door. As I pulled my shoes on, I looked up at Misa who was sitting primly on the sofa. "Where does Matt live?" I demaned.

She glared at me with green lenses, "What are you going to do?"

I gave an impatient sigh, "Misa, I don't have time for this, where does Matt live?"

She rolled her eyes and gave me quick instructions, then said "If you screw up again, I am kicking you out. And I mean it."

"Okay, okay. Let me barrow your car."

"What?" she shrieked, "No! You expect me to let you barrow my car after how mean you've been to Matty-kins? Absolutely not!"

Misa's father, who looked much like an older version of Jackie Chan, laughed. His eyes crinkled as he pulled a key from his pocket. "Mihael, is it?" he had a thick Asian sounding accent, "Here, take my car. It's red on the curb. Take care." He tossed me the key and I caught it.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Amane." I said sincerely and hurried out the door. Misa's father's car was parked by the curb, like he had said. I gaped at it for a moment before hopping in. Well, who could expect much less from Mr. Amane? God, this thing had to have cost _at least_ one million, maybe more. I wonder how fast it goes? _Hm.. No, Mello, stop fantasizing about the damn car. Matt. Go see Matt._ I told myself and pulled away from Misa's condo. I drove to what I hoped was Matt's house with the vague directions Misa gave me. I ended in front of a slightly rundown house in what looked like a very family-oriented neighborhood. The lawns were littered with children's toys such as bicycles, balls, scooters, jump-ropes and chalk. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the car and into the cool November air. The fallen leaves crunched under my feet as I made my way to the door. I took a deep breath and knocked, getting a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. A moment later, the door swung open and revealed a young, copper haired girl with shockingly green eyes. "H-hi," I stuttered. "Is Mail there?" Christmas music floated through the air and mingled with the scent of cookies.

There girl giggled and nodded, "Yes!" She tugged on my hand, "Come on!" She dragged me into the house, which was decorated quite festively. There was garland strung about the ceiling and small Christmas themed figurines were placed strategically around the house.

"Oh, Faith!" I heard Matt's voice call in a singsong voice. My breath caught, I hadn't realized how much I missed Matt's voice until now. "If you don't get up here, Kale and I are going to eat it all!" The little girl, Faith apparently, dropped my hand with a gasp and took off upstairs. I bit my lip and followed her into what looked like the kitchen. Matt was leaning against the counter, a bag of icing in one hand, a sugar cookie in the other and a cigarette dangling from his lips. I didn't know he smoked. I noticed a Santa hat atop his head as he finished icing the cookie and handed it to a dark blond haired boy.

"Matty!" Faith exclaimed, hitting him, "You're not supposed to do that in here!" She continued hitting him with an angry look on her face.

Matt held up his hands in surrender and stubbed out his cigarette in the sink. "Okay, okay. It's out!" Faith smiled victoriously and Matt glanced over at the younger boy who I assumed to be Kale. "What did you do to that poor cookie, Kale?" Matt laughed.

"I eated it." Kale mumbled through a mouthful of food.

Matt shook his head, "Did you? It looks like you tried to face paint with it." He hoisted Kale onto the counter, revealing blue frosting smeared all over his face. Matt took a wet cloth and wiped Kale's face off. "There," he said as he put Kale back on the floor, "No more face painting okay?" There was a hint of a smile on his face. Kale nodded as Matt straightened up. He started to say something, but stopped when those gorgeous ocean blue eyes landed on me. "How did you-? Why are you-?" Matt sputtered, obviously shocked.

"She let me in," I said, motioning to Faith.

Matt turned accusing eyes to the young girl, "You're not supposed to let strangers in, Faith."

She gave him an innocent look, "He knew your real name so I thought.."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. Just take Kale and go play." She nodded quickly and pulled Kale out of the room. Matt looked at me, "Why are you here?"

"I came to apologize for two weeks ago. I don't want to make excuses, but I just.. I'm not good at this." I admitted in defeat.

A smile spread across Matt's face as he closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me. "Miheal, don't be sorry. It was my fault, I shouldn't have lost my temper." He pulled back to look at me, "I just don't like it when people I care about think otherwise."

I hugged him back, not wanting to let him go. "Mail, I'm still sorry. I'm so stupid when it comes to this."

"Hey, don't you say that. You're not stupid, you're just learning. And I'd be happy to teach you."

"I'd like that," I smiled. Why was Matt so forgiving? Not that I was complaining. After a long moment in comfortable silence I said, "Hey, Matt?"

"Hm?"

"Why haven't you been at school for the past two weeks?"

Matt pulled away and laughed, "Well," he said sheepishly, "When I left from your house that day, I kind of went and, uh, went on a video game shopping spree." He laughed again, "I've been playing them for the past two weeks. I would be today too, but mom wanted to decorate the house." He gave me a dorky grin.

I laughed too, it was such a foreign feeling, just to laugh and be carefree. It was liberating. "Oh Matt, I love y-" I caught myself before I said the word. Holy shit, where did that come from? I panicked and felt heat rise in my cheeks. Matt cocked an eyebrow, daring me to say it. "I, uh," _Dammit, Mello! Say something!_ "I love seeing your stupid smile." I said lamely. _Such. An. Idiot._ I scolded myself.

Matt grinned even wider and took my hand, "C'mon, there's someone I want you to meet." We began to walk out of the kitchen, but were stopped at the threshold by someone exclaiming, "Stop!" A woman with curly chestnut brown hair and eyes that matched Matt's stood before us. She had a smile on her face and was looking expectantly at Matt. "Hey, mom." he said cheerfully and tried to exit the room.

Her hand caught his shoulder, "Nope, you're not leaving the kitchen."

"Oh? Why's that?" Matt asked, challenging her.

She looked at him expectantly with a smile still plastered to her face. His mom looked up toward the ceiling.

Matt and I followed her gaze to a sprig of holly and mistletoe. I felt myself blush and wondered if Matt was doing the same. "Mom-" he argued.

Matt was cut off, "Nope. I'd say I'm sorry, Mail, but I'm not. Rules are rules." She giggled and began reciting, "Two caught under the mistletoe must kiss and pray to God that you don't miss. A relative to the cheek and friend to the lips."

"Where did you get that one, mom?" Matt asked with a laugh.

She shrugged, "I just made it up!" his mother looked quite proud of herself. "Now, go on, Mail. You wouldn't want to break tradition." Why was she okay with her son kissing another boy?

Matt looked at me with embarrassment clear on his face, "You don't have to, you know," he murmured.

I bit my lip, feeling more heat flow into my cheeks. "Well, uh.. If it's tradition.."

Amusement glimmered in his eyes, "Alright, come here, then." He tilted my chin up and gazed into my eyes. I noticed a deep blush staining his cheeks. He leaned in and hesitated for a moment before our lips connected. The music seemed to fade away and all I felt was Matt's soft lips and happiness. Was this what it felt like to kiss someone? I'd been missing out big time. We slowly pulled apart and the world flowed back into place. Matt's eyes were glittering with something I had never seen in them before as he laughed. "Wow." he said breathlessly.

"Oh you two are so cute!" A woman's voice squealed to our right. Matt's mom was holding out a picture with a schoolgirl's grin. "I got you, Mail! See!" She waved the picture in front of his face.

He snatched it from her and examined it. "Wow, thanks, Mom." Matt laughed. "Yet _another_ picture I look like a loser in!" He began to put it into his back pocket, but his mom swiped it from him.

"Nope! This is going in the scrapbook! I don't care what you say!" They acted like siblings, not parent and child. It was so strange.

"Wait, I thought you threw that old thing out last year!" Matt exclaimed, motioning the Polaroid camera in his mom's hand.

"Your father fixed it."

"With what? Duct tape? When's dad coming home anyway?"

"Oh be nice, you know he's good at fixing things. And he should be home any minute now."

As if on cue the front door burst open, "Anyone home?" A male voice called. Kale and Faith ran down the stairs yelling, "DADDY!"

Matt tugged on my hand, "Come on." We went down to the entryway where his father stood with both Kale and Faith in his arms. "Hey, dad."

He looked over to where we were standing with emerald eyes that matched Faith's. "Hey, Mail," he said with a grin. He eyed where Matt and I had our hands clasped, "Who's this?" He raised his red eyebrows in a suggestive manner. He didn't seem bothered by Matt's gayness either. How odd.

"This is Mello." Matt said proudly.

"Ah, so I finally get to meet him." his dad smiled at me, "Nice to meet you Mello. I'd offer to shake your hand, but mine are full." He gave a laugh, "Oh, and don't bother with calling me 'Mr. Jeevas', it makes me feel old. So, you can call me Scott."

"Nice to meet you too, Scott." I said with a grin. I loved Matt's family already. They were all so kind.

"Oh no!" Matt's mom said covering her eyes with her hand. "I forgot to introduce myself. I'm so sorry, Mello. My name is Brandi."

"Oh, you don't need to apologize. I didn't introduce myself either." Brandi smiled at me.

"Mommy, can we decorate the tree yet?" Kale asked.

"I don't know. Mail, did you set up the tree?"

"Sure did."

Brandi headed up the stairs, "Well, come on. Let's get started." Kale ran after her and Scott followed.

I felt someone tug on the hand Matt wasn't holding. Looking down, I saw Faith peering up at me with her bottle glass green eyes. "You'll help too, right?"

I gave Matt a questioning look. He smiled and nodded. I smiled at Faith, "Of course." She pulled me upstairs and Matt followed.

We spent the day decorating the Jeevas's Christmas tree with colorful twinkling light, strings of popcorn garland and various ornaments that ranged from handmade to expensive glass. Matt's younger siblings would ask me to put ornaments high up on the tree where they couldn't reach, which always resulted in a game of "Right here?" "No, no! Over a little." "Here?" "A teensy bit down." "This good?" "No, a teensy weensy bit more up." "How about now?" "PERFECT!" I didn't complain, I was having too much fun. Brandi checked her watch, "Oh! I should get dinner started."

Scott grinned, "Let me help."

Brandi gave him a suspicious look, "You just want to eat it before everyone else gets to it."

"Ah, you caught me. How did you know?"

She gave a girlish laugh, "I know you better than the back of my hand."

"I bet you do, darling." Scott said and led her to the kitchen.

"Mistletoe!" Matt called, grabbing the vintage Polaroid camera and snapping a shot of his parents kissing. He propped the picture up on a branch of the fake pine and smiled.

"So your parents are okay with you being.. Gay?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yep! I mean, they were shocked when I told them, but they kind of embrace it. Why do you seem so surprised?"

"My father would probably kill me if I were gay."

Matt smirked, "So I still haven't convinced you, huh? Well, I guess I'll have to try harder."

I was about to say something, but Brandi came out of the kitchen holding a cigarette stub between her thumb and index finger, "Oh, Matthew," she sang. "What is this doing in the kitchen sink?"

Matt looked sheepishly at his mom. "Oops. Sorry."

"Mail, please don't do this in the house. I don't want it to smell like a smoke shack in here."

"Yes, mother." He said with ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

"Good boy," she patted him on the head and left.

"Mello! I have to tell you a secret!" Faith cried happily, trying to suppress a giggle.

I knelt down beside her, "And what is that, Miss Faith?"

She bit her bottom lip, the same way Matt did and whispered in a very loud, unhidden way, "Matty reaaallllyyy likes you."

I chuckled, "Does he really?" She nodded eagerly. I dropped my voice to a loud whisper, "Well, tell Matty I really like him too." Brandi announced dinner was ready and we ate in a comfortable quiet, Christmas music drifting throughout the house. After dinner, I helped Scott wash the dishes while Matt helped his mom put Faith and Kale to bed.

"So, is that car parked out front yours?" Scott asked.

Car? What was he talking about? "What car?" I was confused, hadn't Misa drove me here. Then I remembered. "Oh! Sorry. No, that's Misa's dad's car."

"Ah. He's a nice man."

"Yeah, he is." I agreed.

"So, how do you know Misa?"

"Well, she's my my half sister."

He examined me for a moment, "You have the same hair color and facial structure." He noted.

"I knew about the hair, but facial structure?" I questioned.

"High cheek bones, similar jaw lines and such."

"Oh." I said simply with a shrug of my shoulders.

"You know, Mail talk about you a lot."

"Does he?" I felt my cheeks warm with a familiar blush.

"Mm." He handed me the last dish to dry and drained the sink. He leaned against the counter to look at me better. "Listen," he lowed his voice with a serious look in his deep green eyes, "I know you're not into the whole relationship thing, but Mail really likes you and well, I think you should give him a chance."

I nodded, "I'll keep that in mind."

"Well, thanks for helping me out here, Mello."

"Of course, Scott." I smiled.

He smiled back, "I'd love to have you stay longer, but I think your sister is starting to miss you."

I scoffed, "I doubt it, but I should return Mr. Amane's car soon. He might think I stole it." I laughed.

Matt appeared out of no where, "You're leaving?" He pouted and I had to admit it was the cutest thing I had ever seen.

"Yeah, but hey, you could maybe come over tomorrow?"

"Sure!" Matt said, but cast a look to his father, "I mean, if that's okay with you, dad?"

Scott chuckled, "It's fine with me."

Matt took my hand in his firm grasp and led me to my car, "I had a lot of fun today, Mihael. I'm glad you stopped by." He stroked my cheek with his free hand.

I smiled and leaned into it, "Yeah, me too."

"Um, there's something I've been wanting to ask you for awhile." I could see Matt blush even in the darkness of the autumn night. He moved his hands down to my waist, causing my heart to sprint. He backed me into the door of the car and whispered, "Would you like to be my boyfriend, Mihael Keehl?"

Without a second thought I gave him a quick peck on the lips and breathed, "Yes." Matt pulled me closer to him and kissed me again, making my emotions soar for the second time that day.

* * *

**A/N: So you got to meet Matt's family in this chapter! But, I wanted to apologize for this chapter being so Christmas-themed. I just really want it to be winter already and I really wanted to write something Christmas-y. (And it gave me the excuse to listen to Christmas music in August xD ) Anyway, thanks for all the lovely reviews so far! I love to hear your opinions! c:**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

I walked into the living room of Misa's very pink condo and began apologizing to Mr. Amane. "I'm sorry for staying out so late, you probably want to get home. The-"

He held up a hand with a smile on his wrinkled face, "Don't apologize. It is fine. I got to spend more time with my beautiful daughter because you were out so late. Thank you, Mihael." He stood up, "But I must be going. I will see you next week, Misa."

"Bye daddy!" She said as she jumped up and gave him on of her too tight hugs. Mr. Amane smiled and left. As soon as the door clicked shut, Misa examined me with a smirk. It reminded me of the day I met Matt.

"What?"

"Why are you so happy?"

I shook my head, "I'm not."

"You're smiling, Mihael. You _never_ smile. What happened?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Misa."

Misa placed her hands on her hips, "I know when you're lying." Her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth with her hand, "Oh my God! You kissed Matt!"

"No!" I said like a twelve year old denying their fear of the dark.

"You did!" She exclaimed with excitement. Misa pointed to my face, "Look! You're blushing!"

"I am not!" I growled.

"You are too! Oh, how was it? Tell me everything!"

"It was nice." I admitted with a coy smile.

"Just nice?" she scolded and dragged me over to the sofa. "Details!~ Every single one." She demanded.

"Misa, let me go to bed. I'm tired." I really wasn't, but there was no way I was telling her that I was excited to see Matt tomorrow.

"Nope! You're not going anywhere until you tell me _everything_. And I'll call Matt to make sure you didn't leave anything out!"

"Misa!" I groaned, but she just waited, saying nothing. I sighed. "Fine. We were talking and then we were walking out of the kitchen." I omitted the part where I almost told Matt I love him, for obvious reasons. "Brandi stopped him and me because there was mistletoe in the doorway." I paused and smiled at the memory. My fingertips pressed to my lips. I could still fell Matt's kiss lingering.

"And then?" Misa prompted.

"And then he walked me to the car and kissed me again and-" I cut myself off, feeling my heart beat faster like it had at the moment he asked me. "He asked me to be his boyfriend," I murmured.

Misa flung her arms around my neck, "OMIGOSH! You said yes, right?! Please tell me you said yes!" She pleaded.

"I said yes." I tried to bite back a smile, but I failed.

"Oh good! I'm so happy! You and Matt are meant for each other, I just know it." She grinned then gave me a scrutinizing look. "What aren't you telling me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Fine. I'll just ask Matt. Go to bed." Misa waved her hand as if she were shooing a fly away, then grabbed her hot pink phone from the coffee table.

"Misa-"

"Leave. Go. I want to talk to Matt." She crossed her arms in mock anger. I rolled my eyes and went upstairs. "I bet you'll dream of Matt!" Misa called.

"I bet you're psychotic." I called back with a laugh.

"Hey! Not nice!" I continued up the stairs and Misa yelled again, "Wait, Mihael!"

"What?"

"I have a photo shoot tomorrow, so I won't be home."

"M'kay." I said loud enough for only myself to hear. I went to bed but couldn't sleep. I was too happy and couldn't get my mind of Matt and his perfect family. God, why were they so perfect? Matt's mom didn't even seem upset about his cigarette smoking. She only seemed a bit irritated at the fact that he had smoked in the house. And his dad was okay with him being gay? Why couldn't I have a family like that? Matt was so great with his younger brother and sister, maybe one day him and I could adopt a few kids. _No, too fast, Mello. Too fucking fast._ I hated kids anyway, didn't I? Sure, Matt's siblings were okay, but they were related to Matt. Matt was just amazing and that was a fact. _There, I admitted it to myself. _"Good job, Mello." I murmured then laughed. _Now you're talking to yourself. And you think Misa is psychotic?_ "She totally is though." _Dammit. You're doing it again._ "Shh." _You're insane._ "Good. At least I'm happy." _Ugh! Shut up! _"Yes, Mello, shut up." I mumbled. _Sleep, Mello. You need to sleep. _"What do you think I'm trying to do?" _You're still talking to yourself._ I groaned and got out of bed, wondering if Misa kept NyQuil around. I opened the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and saw the bottle of green liquid. _Look, something that _isn't_ pink. _Snatching the bottle from the cabinet, I read the label. _**30 mL for adults 12 and older**_. I unscrewed the cap and took a swig of the bitter liquid. I switched off the light and went back to my room, letting sleep overtake my consciousness.

_"__Papa kto eto devushka*?" I asked as I pointed to a girl with blonde hair and dark eyes. She looked like just like mama._

_Pain flashed in my father's olive green eyes. "That's your sister."_

_"__I don't have a sister." I argued._

_He ran a hand through his coffee brown hair. "Listen, Mihael. She is your sister. Her name is Misa. Stop arguing."_

_I nodded and scurried away from him and over to the girl who was apparently my sister. "Zdravstvuite**." I greeted her like I would an adult. I spoke Russian because that's what everyone else was speaking._

_"__Huh?" She looked confused and apologetic._

_"__Umm.. Hello?" I tried again._

_"__Oh! Hi!" She said cheerfully. "I'm Misa!" She gave me a large smile revealing a missing front tooth._

_"__I'm Mihael."_

_She giggled, "Your name is funny. Can I call you Mello?"_

_I felt offended, but nodded anyway, "Sure."_

_"__So why are you here?"_

_"__Because my mom died," I mumbled._

_She hugged me, "Mine did too. She's up there." Misa pointed to the casket at the alter._

_I wanted to scream at her 'SHE'S NOT YOUR MOM SHE'S MINE!' But of course I didn't. I just nodded._

_"__Wait! Daddy said I'd meet someone special here. Are you him?"_

_"__Am I who?"_

_"__The special person." she examined me, "You are! Me-hi... Me-hi..." she seemed to attempt to say my name, but gave up, "Mello, you're my brother."_

_"__Yes, I am."_

_Misa hugged me, "Yay! I'm so happy. You look just like mommy. You'll stay with me, won't you?"_

_"__I-"_

_"__Mihael!" Said a heavily accented and ruff voice, "Get back here."_

_"__I have to go. Do svidaniya***." I got up and went to my father._

_"__What?" Misa called._

_"__Goodbye."_

_Misa waved furiously, "Bye! I'll see you soon!"_

The dream dissolved and colors swirled around, shifting into a new setting, somewhere I had long forgotten.

_A young girl was pulling at my hand. Her blonde hair was curled and a crown of white peonies encircled her head. Her dark brown eyes were impatient. "Come on!"_

_"__Misa! Stop running!" I yelped as I tripped over a large stick._

_"__You're so slow!" She giggled and pulled me up. "Only a little bit further." We ran up a hill and arrived at the top gasping for air. "There," Misa panted, "That.. wasn't so.. bad."_

_I shook my head, breathing too heavily to answer. I threw down the blanket I had been carrying and watched Misa set up our picnic. It was just two sandwiches and some fruit, but that hadn't been the reason we were on that hill. My sister cast a look the the heavy stone jutting out from the ground and placed her hand on it. "Hi mom." she murmured, then looked at me. "Mihael, come say hi to mom."_

_"__Hi mama." I whispered to the stone. I knew she couldn't hear me, but it felt good just to talk to her._

_"__We miss you so much, mom. I bet Mihael misses you more because he had more time with you. But I miss you too. Mihael looks just like you." Misa giggled. "He's such a pretty little boy."_

_I glared at her, "Shut up, Misa."_

_"__I bet mom would have laughed," she shrugged. "Oh! We brought you something." Misa dug in the picnic basket and pulled out the bouquet of wild flowers I had picked. Then removed her peony halo. She put the crown on the top of our mother's gravestone and my bouquet on the ground before it. "There. Now you can have pretty flowers in heaven." Misa beamed._

_"__I bet Heaven has prettier flowers than these ones." I mumbled._

_Misa punched my arm, "Stop it! We're trying to do something nice for mom and you're ruining it!"_

_I rolled my eyes. "Mama, we miss you a lot. I bet Heaven is beautiful. Save a spot for Misa and me, okay?" At the time, I had thought I could go to Heaven. But now, it's out of the question._

_Misa raised her eyebrows at me. "Okay, let's eat!" she declared._

_"__Okay, Misa."_

* * *

_***Папа, кто это девушка? - Dad, who is that girl?**_

_****Здравствуйте - Hello (formal)**_

_*****до свидания - Goodbye**_

* * *

**A/N: So, very short chapter, but I wanted to get this updated before I go out of town. I haven't updated in awhile because I've been busy and because I couldn't think of an idea for this chapter. But ****CatatonicVanity**** gave me the idea for this chapter. If you haven't read any of her fics, you totally should because they are amazing!  
Please tell me if my Russian is incorrect so I can fix it. Thanks for all the lovely reviews so far and if you have any ideas for the next few chapters, please share them with my because I kind of do not know what to do. Thanks! c:**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Before you read, I would like to caution you that there is some violence in this chapter.**

**Also, for a part of this (you'll know the part) I suggest you listen to a techno song with some really good bass in it. Like ****_Music is Dope _****by ****_Micha Moor_**** or ****_City Beat_**** by ****_Pattern Mode._**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

The week went on, Matt and I were still together and no one gave us weird looks when we walked through school hallway hand in hand. But that was probably because I gave them a threatening glare when they did. Beyond and A hadn't been at school the entire week, L was still strange as ever, and I was starting to hate that stupid albino Nate. And as for Misa... Well, I'm getting to that part.

I sat on the couch holding my sister in my arms. "Shh. Stop crying Misa or you're going to hyperventilate and pass out." Why did girls have to be so emotional?

"I-I can-can't." She sobbed into my chest. Light had managed to breakup and get back together with her three times this week, then broke up with her for a fourth. "I-I lo-ove my Light so much. W-why?"

I wanted to fucking leave this place. I was getting a headache from all her crying _and_ I had plans with Matt tonight. "Listen, Misa. Sayu will be here any minute and I don't want to keep Matt waiting." I tried to stand up, but she yanked me back down.

"No! St-stay with m-me until Sayu comes." Tears glittered in the light as they rolled down her cheeks leaving black mascara trails in their path.

"Misa," I said with an exasperated sigh. The door opened, revealing Matt and Light's younger sister. "Oh thank God!"

Sayu looked apologetic and Matt was biting back a laugh. Sayu hurried over to Misa and me. "Come on, Misa," she cooed. "Let's go." Misa stood up reluctantly, then clung to Sayu.

"Have fun!" I called with mock enthusiasm as Sayu hauled my sister out the door. I stood up, my tight leather pants squeaking as I did so. I smiled at Matt whose face was bright red. "So, we can go now."

"Y-yeah," He stuttered, then headed out the way he came in. I followed.

In the car he just stared at me, his face a deep, cherry red and his top teeth tugging at his bottom lip. "So, are we just going to sit here or what?" I asked, jokingly.

He shook his head and smirked, "Sorry, I kind of just want to press you up against a wall and kiss you."

My stomach flipped. "Why don't you?" I challenged.

Matt laughed. "Because I've been wanting to go to this club with you for nearly a month now."

I crossed my arms in disappointment.

"But, I don't think I'll be able to leave this driveway without a kiss from my perfect boyfriend." He said and gave his signature idiotic grin.

I rolled my eyes and kissed him on the cheek. "Happy?"

"Loophole," he said as he pulled away from the condo.

"What?"

"You found a loophole, jerk." He pouted through a smile.

I lightly punched his arm. I swear he did cute things like that on purpose. "Shut up, Matt."

He made a loud sniffling sound, "You're so mean to me, Mels. Why do you hate me?" Matt was forcing is voice to sound like he was crying as his lip quivered.

I scoffed, "You're so melodramatic."

Matt laughed and I joined in. "But you put up with it."

"Sometimes I wonder why." I joked. But honestly, I couldn't pinpoint one good reason why I liked him. He was lazy, unmotivated, and the only thing he cared about was his stupid video games. Maybe it was the same with Misa, maybe she knew what a bad guy Light was, but still put up with it. No, my relationship with Matt is nothing like Misa's with Light.

"What are you thinking about?" Matt asked as we pulled into the parking lot of the club. I could hear the music pumping through the few windows the club had.

"Just how much fun tonight is going to be." I lied.

He smiled, "Good. Now let's go."

Inside, the flashing lights mimicked the beat of the deafening music. What seemed like hundreds of dancing bodies were moving together in the sweaty heat the air was. Matt and I went to the bar first (thank you fake ID's) where I had some sort of vodka drink and Matt got something I had never heard of. Soon, the alcohol buzz seemed to blend with the low thud of the bass and the blaring synthesizer. I took Matt's hand and pulled him into the throng of dancing people. "So you wanna dance, huh?" Matt yelled, but I could hardly hear him. I nodded eagerly and sealed it was a short kiss. He said something else, but I couldn't understand it, I was too far lost in the music. Every touch from Matt made my blood boil as we danced. I could feel each beat of the music resonating through me and I began to forget where I was. It was just me and Matt and the music. Matt's lips pressed to my neck and I couldn't help but give a quiet growl of satisfaction. I rolled my hips beneath his hands, causing him to grind into me. God, I didn't realize how much I missed club life. Misa and I had gone to so many last summer and each time I would come home with an electrified buzz running through my veins. But being here with Matt was better, it gave me a feeling I had never known. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at once, the feeling I got while dancing with him was so much more than that electrified buzz I got while dancing by myself. When dancing with Matt, the electricity turned to a fiery heat that I couldn't get enough of. Tipped my head back onto Matt's shoulder. "Enjoying yourself?" He purred in a low voice. Had his voice always been that sexy? I kissed him to signal my 'yes'. Matt's chest vibrated with a laugh, "You want me to get you another one of those drinks?"

"Okay." I said, feeling his lips press to mine in a passionate way. He pulled away with a smile and his hands slid from my hips. The fire in my blood was extinguished almost immediately and was replaced with a dull warmth. I sighed and kept dancing, waiting for my boyfriend to get back. Half a song later, warm hands returned to my exposed midriff and a pair of lips greedily attacked my neck. Wait, where was my drink? Oh well, he probably just wanted to dance and forgot about it. The music started to fade and the air got cooler, making me shiver. I pressed myself to Matt, trying to get warmer. A feeling of fear tied my stomach into a tight knot, Matt's hands weren't this rough, were they? Why the hell do I feel like I'm being dragged? I opened my eyes and saw two other men standing on either side of me in an alley. Fuck! What the hell happened? "Matt?" I called dumbly.

"Shut up, blondie. You're working for us now." The man holding me sneered.

I broke out of his grasp with ease, "Get off me, asshole!" I turned to face the three men who decided to kidnap me. They were all twice my size. _I can take them_.

The man in the middle smirked and withdrew a gun, "Don't worry, your silly boyfriend is fine. He won't miss you one bit."

Who the hell takes a gun to a club? "Fuck off." I said and began to sprint away, but one of the men grabbed me. I elbowed him in the stomach as hard as I could, causing him to double over in pain. As soon as I turned to bash his nose into his skull, the man with the gun put me in a headlock. I felt the cool metal press into my temple as I struggled to get out of his vice like hold. "Now honey, don't be like that. We'll treat you real good." He murmured in my ear, making my skin crawl. Goddamn, I could have fucking killed them by now if I hadn't drank! Dammit Matt!

"Yeah," said the man I elbowed in the stomach, "You don't mind getting your ass pounded, do ya? I bet the hot boyfriend of yours does it all the time."

Did he just fucking call Matt hot? I tried to wedge my chin between my captor's thick arm and my neck, but it was no use. My vision began to tunnel, getting black around the edges. Was this really how I was going to die? Beaten to death by a couple of assholes? _Teeth, Mello! Bite him!_ A voice said in my head. Bite him? How fucking cheap. But I sunk my teeth into to his fleshy arm anyway. The man howled in pain and withdrew his arm. I slipped away a second before a gunshot sounded and another short yelp escaped from someone. On the pavement lay one of the men with a gaping hole through his forehead. Blood spurted from said hole and grayish pink matter was blown onto the brick building behind him. Who the hell stand beside someone held at gunpoint? "You _bitch_!" the man with the gun hollered and dove towards me, throwing the gun into the dark belly of the alley. His fist connected with my jaw, causing pain to shoot through my face. I fell to the hard ground, my hands getting scraped by the rough surface. I braced myself for another blow as the rusty taste of blood filled my mouth. I saw the gunman come at me from the left, obviously going to tackle me. I surprised him with an elbow to his nose, a loud crunch filled the nighttime air and he fell back onto the pavement. _Two down one to go_. I looked for the final man, but caught sight of Matt standing in the mouth of the alley. The milky moonlight illuminating his pale face. His mouth was set in a hard line and he held a pistol in his outstretched hand. "Matt!" I called out in pure relief. _Yes! Matt found me!_

He completely ignored me as if I hadn't said anything. "Hey asshole, wanna explain to me why you took my boyfriend?" Matt's gaze was trained on something behind me, deeper in the lane.

"Aw, how sweet. You came to save your precious boyfriend." I jerked my head to my final kidnapper, he also had a gun drawn and aimed at Matt. "It just so happens he's a hot piece of ass and Rod wanted him for business. Too bad you won't make it to have a chance of buying him."

"You're really fucking stupid, aren't you? You honestly think I wouldn't come after him?" Matt's voice was harsh and cold, holding no mercy whatsoever. "If you want to shoot me, fine. Go right the fuck ahead. Don't worry, my bullet will be faster anyway." What the hell was he thinking? Fear kept my voice strangled in my throat and seemed to drain all my strength. I squeezed my eyelids shut, praying that Matt hadn't been lying, that his bullet really would be faster. Two gunshots echoed through the night, the sound ricocheting off the sides of the brick buildings. I heard the impact of the body hit the hard ground. Hot tears slipped through my closed eyelids as I braced myself to see whose gun had won.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if Mello seems a little OOC towards the end . I kind of just left it at that because well, I can c: Anyway, I will be out of town Friday-Late Monday night and I probably won't have internet access. I'll bring my computer with so I can work on Chapter eight, but I do not know if I will be able to post it sooner than Tuesday. Thanks for all the fantastic reviews, I love to hear your opinions!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

There was nothing but silence. The world was on pause for a moment. Then, it returned to normal speed, the sound of metal clambering to the ground cut through the chill of night. Heavy booted feet came towards me quickly. Maybe I could get a hold of one of the guns I could end it all right then. I raised my head and saw the final kidnapper lying dead on the pavement. Did this mean-? My thoughts were interrupted when I felt strong arms wrap around me. "Mihael? Are you okay?"

"Matt?" I whispered incredulously, turning to see his eyes beneath orange goggles.

"Fuck, you're bleeding." He murmured and wiped his thumb across my chin and helped me up.

I shrugged, "I'm fine. Are you okay?"

He kissed the crown of my head, "Yep. I don't suppose you want to go back and dance, huh?"

"Fuck no."

Matt laughed, "Okay." We were just getting out of the alleyway when Matt bent down, "Oh, can't forget this." He said and spun his silver pistol around, a grin on his face. Then something dawned on me; why did Matt have a gun? I was about to ask, but was cut off by two almost simultaneous gunshots.

"What the hell?!" I exclaimed as I felt most of Matt's weight against me. "Matt?!"

"Fuck!" He groaned through clenched teeth, "Just go! Walk faster, we gotta get outta- Agh!" He groaned in pain.

"Matt?" I asked in a panicked voice. Did Matt get shot?

"Just go!" He hissed.

I hauled him over to the car and quickly helped him in and got in on the driver's side. "Where should I go?"

"Just drive around awhile," Matt was suddenly calm, but he grimaced as he pulled off his shirt and rolled his left pant leg up. "Ah shit." He reclined the seat and put his leg up on the dash, then tied his shirt around his knee. "Guess they got me good, huh?" He gave a short laugh and dug around in the back.

"Fuck. Want me to take you to a hospital?" I asked as I pulled away from the club. He was acting like he got a bug bite, not a fucking _bullet _in his leg!

"No!" He said quickly, "I can take care of it myself!"

I glanced away from the road and to him. Matt had a portable gaming device, a pack of cigarettes, a lighter and a glass bottle full of clear liquid that I assumed to be alcohol. "So, Matt, do you always keep a bottle of whatever the hell that is in your car?"

"Everclear," he took a swig from the bottle. "And yeah, for situations like this."

"Oh, getting shot in the fucking leg happens often?" God, was Matt insane? Is that what normal people do; carry guns around and keep liquor in their car in case they get shot? Maybe I should start doing background checks on the people I decided to talk to. I didn't give him time to answer before throwing another question at him. "And why the hell were you carrying around a gun?! Are you fucking paranoid or something? Do you think everyone is going to fucking kill you? Or do you expect a random shootout to happen everywhere you go?" I demanded. What the hell was he hiding from me?

He gave a long sigh. "Mihael." He said evenly.

"What?" I snapped.

"Let's talk about this back at home, okay?"

"I want to talk about it now, Mail."

"I will be able to tell you more there," his voice had a singsong like quality to it. Was he mocking me?

"Fine." I growled. Back at Misa's condo, I helped Matt up the stairs and into the bathroom, careful not to get blood onto Misa's carpet. I helped him over the tub where he sat on the edge and began to dump the 'Everclear' as he called it over his wound, pausing to take a sip or two every so often. "Go on." I said, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the wall.

He closed his eyes, "Promise not to hate me?"

"If you tell me the everything." I said in a threatening voice.

He nodded. "You know my mom," he began and I nodded even though his eyes were shut. "Well, back when she was in high school, she got mixed up with some people."

"I don't see how that explains why you carry a gun."

"I'm getting there. She was walking home one night from a club and some men took her and forced her to be a prostitute. She didn't want to die, so she agreed. But there were conditions of course. She could live her life as she pleased as long as she came back to the mafia every night so they could sell her body for their own gain. During the day she would work at a diner so she could buy food for herself because the men at the mafia didn't provide for her. Well, one day, the head of the mafia decided that he wanted her for his own. He fucked her and guess what. She got pregnant." I was shocked, I would have never guessed that about his family, they seemed too perfect. "About six months into her pregnancy, while she was working at the diner, a man came in. He took one glance at her and knew she needed help. He worked for the government and put her into the witness protection program. That man was my dad, by the way. As in Scott. Anyway, they fell in love and all that junk. She changed her name from Anneliese Klein," he said her name in a perfect German accent, "to Brandi Johnson, well, she married my dad and changed her last name yet _again_ to Jeevas." I saw him smirk as if amused by the whole thing.

"So the gun?" I prompted.

"Oh, right. Mom and dad thought that it would be best for me to keep a gun on me at all times in case I run into one of the mafia members that knew my mom. They know my name 'Mail', so that's why everyone calls me Matt. I look just like her and if one of the mafia members were to hear someone call me 'Mail', they would know where my mother was and they would kill her. But," he said, dumping more of the liquor onto his wound, "They would only go after me if their boss died, so don't worry about a thing. Anyway, I should probably get the cleaned up. You have a skinny pliers or long tweezers? Oh, a needle, thread and some gauze would be nice too." Matt glanced at his leg and grimaced. "That bastard," he said under his breath as I dug in the linen closet for the items he requested.

"I've got a tweezers and gauze and a bottle of NyQuil." I said holding up said items.

"Keep that NyQuil out, I might need it later if this doesn't help." He laughed and held up the glass bottle. I handed him the gauze and tweezers. I watched as Matt held the tweezers over the lighter to sterilize them. He removed his goggles and leaned over his leg, hissing as he inserted the tweezers into the bullet hole. His hand was shaking and he bit his lower lip, causing blood to ooze out. He withdrew the tweezers from the wound and the shiny silver was covered in gore. Matt looked at me, eyes watery with tears. "I can't fucking do this." There was so much pain in his voice even though he was trying to mask it.

"You want me to take you to the hospital?"

"NO!" He cried.

"What the hell do you want me to do? Do I look like a fucking doctor?"

"Please," he murmured, "Will you do it for me?"

"I can't, Matt! Even if I fucking tried to, it would make it worse. I'm taking you to the fucking hospital." I growled.

"No! Don't take me there! Please don't!" Matt was sobbing now, something I had never seen him do before.

I knelt beside him and took his tear streaked face in my hands, "Mail, listen to me. I fucking love you too much to let myself make it worse. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"I'm not going to the fucking hospital!"

I was fucking trapped. Either I pull the damn bullet out or Matt gets a blood clot and ends up fucking dying! What the hell was I supposed to do? I pressed my forehead to his, "Mail, I'll try, okay? But if I can't fucking do it, I'm taking you to the damn hospital." I pressed my lips to his, "Drink some more of that stuff," I motioned to the bottle and grabbed a fluffy white towel from the closet. "Bite down on this." and he did so. I took a deep breath and set to work on digging the bullet from his calf. I'd bet he wouldn't be able to walk for awhile. He would groan and whimper in pain as I searched for the bullet. Fuck, this thing looked gross. Not that blood made me feel sick, just because it looked well.. disgusting! God, I am _never_ doing this again. By the time I got the damn lead cylinder from his leg, I swear he had nearly passed out twenty times. I snatched the bottle from his hand and poured the alcohol directly on the wound. Matt let out a muffled yell and his body writhed in pain. Why had I agreed to this again? Oh, because I have _never _seen somebody freak out about a damned _hospital_. He was so fucking stupid sometimes! I shook my head and felt around the tiled floor for his lighter. I took a deep breath before igniting the flame and holding it to the gaping hole and watched it shrink. I wasn't a doctor, but at least I had common sense. After digging through the medicine cabinet, I had found some over the counter antibacterial cream. There was no way this was going stop the bacteria on the inside, but hopefully the alcohol had taken care of that. I dabbed the cream onto the wound and Matt's body went limp for a moment from shock, then tensed up again. Looking back at him, I saw his skin was covered in a layer of sweat and his face was drenched with tears, his hair stuck to his face in sweaty clumps and I couldn't help but feel bad. _I could have fucking killed him!_ I removed the towel from his mouth and kissed his salty cheek softly. "I'm calling a doctor tomorrow." I murmured as his lids fell shut. I hoisted him into my arms and brought him to my room so he sleep peacefully even if only for a short while.

* * *

**A/N: Hey look! I uploaded a chapter before I leave tomorrow (er, today)! I wanted to say a few things about this though; 1) If you get shot in the leg (or anywhere else) ****_GO TO A DAMN HOSPITAL_**** 2) I share Matt's feelings on doctors and such 3) I don't know how to remove a bullet, I'm not a doctor. I just guessed on most of this stuff, it probably wouldn't work in real life, so don't try it and refer to number 1.**

**Anyway, I probably won't have internet access until Tuesday, so some awesome reviews for me to read when I get back would be great! Thanks for all the reviews so far, I love to hear your opinions!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Fuck!" The bed springs squeaked slightly. "Goddammit! Shit." There was a hiss of pain and more squeaking metal springs. "Ow! Okay, maybe if I.." A small whimper was given, so quiet I could barely hear. "Fuck, no," a growl of frustration could be heard then followed by Matt calling, "Mello!"

I had been enjoying the sounds of his pain way too much. God, I was just a sick, sadistic bastard. Opening the door, I saw Matt sitting on the edge of my bed, blankets wrapped around his lower half, bare feet touching the ground and the sheen of sweat decorating his pale torso. He had a pained look on his face, completing the ensemble. Damn, if I found this sexy, how did I keep my hands off him last night?

"You like this don't you?" Matt asked, making me conscious of the fact that I had been blatantly staring at him.

I smirked, "More than the average person, yes."

He rolled his eyes, "You're a creep."

"Says the guy who couldn't keep his hands off my ass for two seconds at the club."

"Hey! I touched it once!" He defended, then muttered, "It's not my fault you decided to wear leather pants."

"You would have done it anyway."

"So?" He blushed, then looked away towards his jeans lying on the floor. "Grab me those, will ya?" I tossed them to him. "Hey, hey, easy. I don't want shit to get broken." He said and produced a portable game from one of the pockets. "You know where my cigs are?"

I shrugged. "Can't smoke in here anyway."

He sighed, "Right," then attended to his video game.

"Good thing you're cute." I realized what I had said after I said it.

"Oh?" Matt peered up at me through his auburn bangs, leaving his game forgotten. "So you wouldn't love me otherwise?"

"Of course I would. I just wouldn't allow you to play video games."

"That's horrible. But I love you too." He smiled victoriously.

I felt my cheeks heat up, he'd cornered me into that one. "I didn't.. I mean, I.. I'm not.." I trailed off.

"Don't think I didn't hear what you said last night, because I did, Angel Face." He bit his lip as he said the last part with a shy smile.

"Angel face?" I questioned.

"Mm. I don't like the common pet names. Besides, you look like an angel." I already knew that of course, but I liked the fact that he thought so too. He shrugged, but I could tell he was slightly embarrassed.

I made my way over to him and kissed the tip of his nose. "How's your leg feel?"

"Considering I can't walk on it without crying like a bitch, pretty awesome." Sarcasm dripped from his voice like venom in a snake.

I rolled my eyes, "Let me look at it. Uh, you might need to lay on your stomach."

A smirk spread across my beautiful boyfriend's face. "I finally convinced you, huh?"

"What?"

He shrugged, "Nothing." Moving his elbows to rest on his pillow, he tried to get his legs up onto the bed. With a low grunt, he looked at me expectantly, "You're going to have to help me." I pulled him into a sitting position, then slowly helped him stand up. The blanket slipped from his hips and fell to a pool of cloth on the floor. We glanced down simultaneously. My breath caught when I found he was entirely naked. "Fuck." He murmured. I could feel blood pooling in my cheeks as I looked back up to meet his sapphire eyes. "Sorry, I didn't.." he paused then laughed for a moment, as if he weren't standing in front of me wearing nothing but the goggles at his neck. Matt bit his lip in a sexy way, "You wanna get that for me?" he gave a wink.

Was it just me, or was it getting awkward in here? "I.."

Amusement danced in his eyes as a hand cupped my chin, "I was kidding, Mihael." He chuckled, "You're blushing."

I smacked his hand away, "I am not. Just lay the fuck down or I'll put another hole in your leg, bastard."

"Aw, that's no fun."

"Shut up," I grumbled and helped him onto the bed.

"There's no way you're getting me to lay on my stomach, Mels." Matt said in a matter of fact way.

"And why is that?" I was starting to get annoyed, I still needed to make a phone call to a certain doctor that I did not feel like talking to.

"I don't trust you near my ass." He tried to suppress a smile by lightly biting his fist.

"I am not gay!" I shouted.

Matt raised an eyebrow, "Really? Because last time I checked, _you_ were _my boyfriend._ And I'm pretty sure you're a guy, but I know I'm a guy, if you don't believe me, you can look for yourself." He motioned to his groin.

Forgetting he was nude, my eyes traveled down to his lower region. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Fuck you, Matt."

"Alright, come here then."

"Stop being so immature." I said, throwing a glare his way.

"Sorry, you're making it too easy." He laughed.

"You know what? Fine," I turned on my heel to leave, "When your leg gets infected and has to be chopped off, don't blame me."

"Mello, wait! I'm sorry." Matt cried out.

I looked at him over my shoulder, "Are you done playing your childish games?" With an eager nod he said yes. I tossed the blanket at him and sat near his feet. "Wait a minute, why the hell are you laying in my bed completely naked?"

Matt just shrugged with an innocent look on his face. "You're just lucky I decided against polishing the ole bayonet, if you catch my drift."

What the hell was he talking about? Oh good lord. "Matt! You're fucking disgusting!" I smacked his thigh as hard as I could.

"Nnh," He groaned, "That fucking hurt!"

"Good."

"Maybe I should do that when you leave, just to piss you off." He tested.

"You're going to get shot one day, I swear."

"In case you haven't noticed, I already have."

"I meant by me, asshole." I lifted his leg and examined the bullet hole in his calf. It seemed to be healing up okay and it certainly didn't look too terrible. The wound wasn't infected, that was for sure. Maybe I didn't need to call up a doctor. I kissed his ankle, "Looks good, love."

"Do you suffer from bipolar disorder or something?" He asked casually, then laughed. "Just kidding." He propped himself up on his elbows, his eyes gazing into mine, "Come here, I wanna tell you something."

I crawled up to him, my body positioned between his legs, my hands on either side of his pale, muscled chest. "And what's that, Mail?"

"Well, two things, really." He paused, then continued after a moment. "You're a total fag, Mihael." I glared at him, maybe I was going to call the fucking doctor. "Second one. I love you more than anything."

I bit my lip. I know I had said it to him the night before, but I had thought he was out of it. Did I really love Matt? There was a moment of hesitation before I replied. "I, uh.. I love you too, Mail." Okay, so maybe I wasn't going to call the doctor.

"Enough to not call the doctor?" he asked hopefully. Damn, did he hear me say that last night too?

"I don't get what the big deal is." I murmured.

"Doctors are fucking creepy." I felt a shiver run through him.

"And do you have a logical reason for thinking that?"

Matt put a finger to his lips in thought, then shook his head. "Nope, can't say I do." Falling back against the pillow, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I don't suppose you have any pain medication, huh?"

"Is it finally starting to hurt?" I said in a cocky tone. You would thing he's a robot with the way he treats pain. I felt his hands snake their way up the back of my shirt. "What are you doing, Matt?" I asked, quite taken aback.

"Mm?" he hummed, raking his fingernails up my back. With a happy sigh he removed his hands from my shirt and resting them on his stomach. "If I were fucking Harry Potter, I could have fixed this damn thing last night." I didn't have a clue what he was talking about, but I pretended to agree. "Oh well." We stayed quiet for awhile. His voice eased the silence, starting out barely audible, then growing into his normal speaking voice. But instead of talking, he was singing some sort of melody. "_-__Nightly, beside the green, green grass. Swing, swing, swing the spinning step. You-"_

I cut him off. "What are you doing?"

He reluctantly opened his eyes, "Singing?" he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Or do I really sound that bad?"

"I meant why."

With a shrug he murmured, "Just kiss me." And of course, I complied to his request.

* * *

**A/N: Short chapter and kind of all over the place . Blah. The song Matt was singing is called ****_Kiss Me_**** by Sixpence None The Richer. It's a great song and you should totally check it out! But yeah. Anyway, I was thinking of putting some smut into this story, but I'm kind of reluctant to because 1) I feel it might ruin it and 2) I've never written any sort of smut before and don't know how to go about it. So, let me know what you think and pointers on writing smut would be fantastic! Thanks for all the lovely reviews so far! c: **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Nearly a month had passed since Matt had been shot. He was doing okay, I guess. It was hard for him to do anything save for gaming and walking short distances, like across the hall to the bathroom. I was thankful for that because he could now bathe himself without my help. Trust me, it was painfully awkward. If anything good had come from this, it was the fact that Matt and I were closer. At first, I had been reluctant to open up to him, but the nights my mind was moving too fast to sleep, I would roll over and begin talking with Matt until I fell asleep. Some nights we talked about things that didn't make any sense (Matt initiated those conversations of course), things like zombie apocalypses, alien abductions, Sasquatch or anything else that spiked my nerdy boyfriend's interest. Those conversations would result in me saying something along the lines of, "Matt, that's impossible. (Insert topic here) would never happen." And of course he would argue and say "But what if-!" until I finally gave in and went along with his insane ramblings. Other nights, we would talk about our past, likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams or things no one else knew about us. I found out he had an obsession with snuggling, he hadn't told me that, but I figured it out when he held me at every opportunity he had. Not that I was complaining or anything, I loved that he would come up behind me and hug me at the most random times. Matt told me he had been with several girls in the past, but had never been with a guy other than me. "I thought you said you were gay?" I had asked, very much confused. Matt just smiled and said, "Gay for you."

For the past month, I had spent nearly every moment with Matt (except at school). He didn't go home for fear of worrying his family, he didn't go to school, but I brought his work home in which he completed in about thirty minutes before returning to his video games. I hadn't been entirely convinced that I truly loved Matt until I realized he would never leave me. He knew almost everything about me, my anger problems, my rude tendencies, my sadistic side, the obsession I had with chocolate. Basically everything, except my entire past, something I wasn't yet comfortable to share with him. But he respected it, he loved the flaws I had and embraced them, no one had ever done that for me. No one loved me as genuinely as he did. That's what made me love him and all of his stupid habits, even his smoking and infatuation with the Sci-Fi channel on TV. Yes, he was childish and stupid and the damn poster child for geeks. But he was my stupid, childish geek and I loved him.

Matt had been acting weird lately, he would shut down his laptop as fast as he could every time I walked into the room and stay playing a game as if he weren't using his computer. He was keeping something and I knew it. I didn't know what, but I was about to find out. My bedroom door swung open before I put my hand on the knob, revealing a fully clothed Matt, stuffing his wallet into his pocket and a cell phone to his ear. "Yeah, I'll be out in a second. - Okay. - Yes, B, goddamn. Bye." He hung up with a heavy sigh.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Beyond. We're going out for a bit today."

_Going out? With Beyond? _I scowled. "Oh."

"I didn't mean like that." He said, knowing what I was thinking. There was a ghost of a smile on his face. "We're going gift shopping, since obviously I haven't gotten around to it."

"Can I go?" I pleaded like a child.

Matt laughed, "Nope. I've got to buy your Christmas present still."

"But Matt-"

He cut me off with a chaste kiss placed on my lips, "Don't worry, I'll get you your chocolate. B is waiting for me and he'll probably rip my head off if I make him wait any longer."

I smirked, "I wouldn't put it past him." It was true, Beyond was the violent type and got into too many fights over stupid things. Matt gave me another light kiss and began to walk past me. I caught him by the shirt, making him stop. "Don't buy anything for yourself, okay?" I had already bought him several games he'd been drooling over. As bad as it sounds, it was a good thing I got all my mother's money when she died.

He mock pouted, "You just want me to spend more money on you, greedy bastard."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't want you to get me anything for Christmas, Matt."

With a laugh he said, "Sucks for you, Mihael. I really have to go, though. See you later." He disappeared down the hall, leaving me in the doorway. I went to the window and looked out on the glittering snowy street as a few stray flakes floated down. There was a week and a half until Christmas and yet Misa's condo didn't even have so much as a wreath hanging up. That was mildly depressing. With a sigh I examined my still very pink bedroom. Matt's laptop was laying on the bed, just begging to be looked through. I took it into my hands and opened it. What the hell was I doing? I trusted Matt, didn't I? Yes, I did. I had no reason to look through it, but the curiosity was burning me. "No, Mello. Matt isn't doing anything dishonest." I told myself quietly, closing the top and putting it back onto the bed. Maybe I should do something about Misa's undecorated house. I grabbed my black winter coat and pulled it on, then Matt's car keys that were sitting on the dresser. Matt let me drive his car so long as I paid for gas. I dashed downstairs to where Misa was lying on the couch, flipping through a magazine in her pajamas. "Where are you going?" She asked.

I gave her a smile, "Getting stuff from storage. You want to come with?" I was excited, Christmas was my favorite holiday and decorating for it was my favorite thing in the world, other than Matt of course.

"Not really." She said bluntly. Since her break up with Light, she hadn't been her usually bubbly self. Misa turned the page of the magazine.

"Misa, please? I'm going to get a tree and I bet there will be plenty of cute guys to stare at." She needed to get out of the house for once, recently she only left for photo shoots and school.

She peered up at me from her magazine with her brown eyes. "You think so?" Her tone returned to the upbeat, happy one I had grown accustomed to.

"I guarantee it."

Misa hopped up from the couch, a bright smile spread across her face. "Okay! Let me go get dressed!" She chimed and sprinted upstairs. I went out into the cold December air, my booted feet crunching in the snow, to warm up Matt's car. Misa trotted up, wearing the red fox ushanka I had bought her last year for her birthday/Christmas. "Ready!" She announced cheerfully. I smiled and began driving to the storage lockers where we picked up boxes of all of our mother's old Christmas decorations. Then we headed to the tree farm. I pointed to a large blue tinted tree, "This one?"

Misa scrunched her nose and shook her head, "Nope. It has to be green."

"What do you know about Christmas trees? You've never decorated for this holiday." I teased. It was true, her father wasn't big into the holiday for obvious reasons.

"It's in all the movies! Green!" She smiled.

"Okay, let's keep looking." I said and continued through the forest of pine trees.

"I like this one, Melly!" I heard Misa cry. I turned to see her standing beside a short tree with several bare spots.

"Um.. Misa, it's kind of short."

She stepped back to examine it, "Oh. I guess you're right. It's such a pretty color though." Well, it was green, I'd give her that. We walked for awhile when suddenly I spotted the _perfect_ tree. I stopped in mid-stride, causing Misa to smack into my back and fall into the snow. "Hey!" She said from below.

"Look at it!" I beamed. I had to have _this _tree.

"Oh! Perfect!" Misa said brightly. "We _have _to get this tree, Mihael!"

I smiled, "Okay. You stay here, I'll go find someone." I began to walk away, but Misa yanked me back.

"No, no. Remember what you said about the cute guys? _I'm_ going because _you_ already have a boyfriend."

"Go ahead." I said, motioning for her to go. After we paid for the tree and a wreath, I drove home, excited for the decorating to begin. I hadn't had a properly decorated house since the year after mama died when I was six.

"Ohmigosh! That guy was totally flirting with me! He even asked for my number!" Misa gushed. I smiled, at least she was getting over Light. The thing I liked about her talking is she doesn't care if you respond or not. "Did you see his eyes? They were such a pretty green! And he had such nice hair!" I listened to Misa go on and on about the guy she met at the tree farm. His name was Jev or something like that. He seemed like an okay guy, much better than Light anyway. Pulling into the driveway, I noticed Beyond's truck parked in the street. As I stepped out of the car, Matt and Beyond got out of the truck. "Hey, why aren't you inside?" I called then jogged over to them.

"Door's locked." Matt said.

"Don't you have your key?"

"I left it home. Where'd you two go?" He asked, catching my hand in his as we walked up the driveway, Matt limping ever so slightly.

"To get a Christmas tree!" I exclaimed, not being able to contain the excitement anymore. Beyond gave a creepy grin and Matt laughed. The four of us, Beyond, Matt, Misa and I spent the rest of the day decorating the house in my mother's Christmas decorations. Now it really did feel like home. That night, Matt and I spent our time watching cheesy Christmas romances and drinking hot chocolate, eventually falling asleep on the couch together.

On Christmas Eve, we threw a sort of party. L, Beyond, Nate and A (I still hadn't learned his real name) arrived at the same time, then half an hour later Light and Sayu came. Jev (the guy Misa met at the tree farm) was there too, totaling to ten of us. We sat around the living room, telling stories, laughing, eating chocolate chip cookies and having a good time. Misa surprisingly managed to ignore Light completely and paid most of her attention to Jev. During the time we all spent talking, I found out that L, Beyond and Nate were brothers. The fact that L and Beyond were related made sense, but Near? He had _white_ hair, not black. This world was just a screwed up mess. Matt laughed at my confusion and kissed my cheek before returning to the conversation. Misa leaned towards Matt and whispered something in his ear. A broad smile came across his face and he nodded quickly before standing up. I gave him a questioning look. "Be right back."

"Mello?" L asked, his dark eyes wide. "May I ask you something?"

"Yes?" The man had never spoken to me before and now he wants to ask me something out of the blue?

"Did you know Matt-"

"L!" A chorus of three interrupted him in a scolding manner.

He gave them an innocent look, "Did you know Matt enjoys it here?"

I was about to answer but Matt appeared from behind me. "Hey."

With a smile I snuggled into him. "Hey."

"Time for presents!" My sister trilled, hopping up from her spot next to Jev and started passing out gifts. We took turns tearing festively printed paper from boxes and containers, revealing our gifts. L received an assortment of sweets, Beyond undoubtedly got several jars of strawberry jam, Nate toy robots and A with books and movies Matt would probably like. Misa got several nail polishes and a diamond necklace from Jev, who had gotten gift cards since none of us knew him well enough. Sayu received CD's and Light got documentaries on law enforcement. I of course was given a surplus of dark chocolate and Matt video games. "Well, that looks like the last of it," Misa said cheerfully.

"Hold on, Misa," Matt chimed in. "Mihael still has one more." He produced a cube covered in shiny red wrapping paper and a silver bow placed in the corner. "Merry Christmas," My boyfriend murmured with an excited look that lit up his entire face. I bit my lip and began ripping the wrapping paper off, suddenly aware of how silent the room had gotten. Beneath the red paper was a white box. I gave Matt a questioning look. "Open it," he urged, so I did. In the bottom on the box laid a folded piece of thick paper. I unfolded it and read Matt's handwriting.

_**December 24**__**th**__** – January 7**__**th**__**  
**_

_**Moscow and St. Pertersburg, Russia**_

_**Mihael,**_

_**I know how much you've always wanted to**_

_**travel to Russia and I'd really like to be the**_

_**one to take you there. I'm sorry for sneaking**_

_**around so much lately, but I wanted to keep this**_

_**secret so I could surprise you. I've learned the**_

_**language, so don't worry about that. The plane**_

_**leaves tonight.**_

_**With love,**_

_**Mail**_

My heart raced and tears pricked at my eyes. No one had done anything like this for me before, no one had put this much _thought_ into something for me before. I brought my gaze to his. There were no words I could possibly say to describe how happy I was. "Mail?" I whispered, trying to keep the tears from my voice, despite the fact they were already spilling down my cheeks.

His slightly calloused hand caressed my face as he wiped away a track of tears with his thumb. "Hey, why are you crying?" he murmured. I shook my head and leaned into his hand. "Oh god. You think it's a terrible idea, don't you? Fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't... Dammit, I'm sorry." Matt hung his head in shame.

I gave a laugh, "You're an idiot sometimes, you know that, right?" He looked up at me, a sad, confused look on his face. "I love it. Where did you come up with this idea?"

"Well, you talk about how you'd love to visit the place your mom was born and how much you wish you could travel. You really love it?" He asked, unconvinced. I nodded and kissed him passionately, forgetting for a moment that everyone was watching. We stayed like that, kissing for awhile until a pair of boney hands yanked us apart. I glanced up to see a smirking Beyond, who looked quite comical with that Santa hat atop his head. "Hate to break it up, but I don't feel like watching you two fuck." Everyone laughed, myself included. I turned back to Matt, his face lit up with joy and embarrassment. This had to be the best Christmas I've ever had.

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**A/N: I don't really have much to say except ****_Why can't it be winter_****_yet?!_** **Anyway, I was curious as to how much you want to read of Mello and Matt's trip to Russia? Thank you for all the reviews, more are greatly appreciated! **


	11. Chapter 11

**_Before you read: This chapter contains (very poorly written) smut AKA sexual content, written porn, whatever you want to call it. Except, I wouldn't really call this smut but whatever, you can decide for yourself. This is the first time I've ever written smut, so I hope I did okay._**

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**Chapter Eleven**

Our flight was fifteen hours and agonizingly boring. We slept for the first eight hours, then stayed up the rest. I was reading and Matt was playing video games one handed, his other holding mine. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. God, I must have the best boyfriend ever. Leaning over, I kissed Matt on the cheek, earning a smile. If we weren't landing soon, I would have snuggled up to Matt and talked. The chain of events replayed in my mind.

_"__Oh good!" Misa squealed, "L, will you go and get Mello's bags?"_

_"__Is that why I can't find anything to wear?"_

_Matt laughed and kissed my forehead, "Sorry, we were excited."_

_Beyond, A, Misa and Jev came with us to the airport. Before we stepped out from Jev's SUV, Beyond clamped a hand down on Matt's shoulder, a grin spread across his face. "Oh Matthew," he sang in his jagged voice. Matt had given him a curious look. Beyond smiled like a madman, holding up a black bottle of something._

_Matt's face turned crimson with embarrassment as he snatched the bottle from Beyond's skeletal hand and tossed a glare his way. "Thanks, jerk." He growled._

_Beyond winked, "Now you two kids have fun and stay safe." Misa giggled and even A cracked a smile. Matt rolled his eyes as we exited the vehicle._

I had later found out that bottle was filled with lube and couldn't help but wonder if we'd be using it on our trip. I kind of hoped we would, but I didn't tell Matt that. When our plane landed, it was about midnight, but life was buzzing in Moscow's chilly winter air. We took a taxi to our hotel where we checked in. Matt had went to take a shower while I ogled at my surroundings. Our hotel room was huge! There was a luxury bathroom filled with fresh roses and inch thick fluffy towels; a separate sitting room with a TV, plush sofas adorned with pillows; and a large bedroom with a king sized bed and a balcony that overlooked the city. I went to the sliding door that lead to said balcony, pressing my fingertips to the cool glass and looking out on Moscow. The colorful lights of the city bounced off the snow, making the city even brighter than it would be during the summer. The hum of cars zooming down the frozen street could be heard, even from way up here on the twelfth floor. I still couldn't believe Matt had done this for me, especially when I only got him _video game. _I felt more tears welled up in my eyes from the magnitude of this happy emotion I had so seldom felt. God, I had to repay him somehow, but.. How could I do that? I was terrible at this stuff.

I sighed as my thoughts were interrupted by heated, slightly damp arms wrapped around my waist, encasing me in Matt's wintry warm scent. I relaxed into him, allowing my eyelids to slowly close as I rested my head on his shoulder. His full lips pressed against my neck tenderly as he whispered, "Enjoying the view?"

"Mm," I nodded quietly and found Matt's hands with mine. We stood there awhile, swaying slightly side to side while Matt continued working kisses into my neck and shoulders. "Matt?" I sighed happily.

"Yes, Mihael?" He murmured in my ear, his voice had a rough quality to it that sent chills down my spine. "Are you cold?" He asked as he nuzzled my cheek before placing a gentle kiss there too.

Turning around to better face him, I took his face between my hands and gazed into his ocean deep eyes. "Mail," I paused, trying to think of a word that expressed my gratitude. My hands trailed down his arms, then back up and down his bare chest, tracing the slight outline of his muscled stomach. Matt caught my hands in his and kissed each of them. "I love you."

A smile graced his lips before capturing mine. "I love you too, Mihael." Joy ebbed throughout my entire being, even though we had exchanged those simple yet complicated words hundreds of times before. My heart beat erratically in my chest as I leaned in to kiss him. Something had changed between us tonight, it was as thrilling as it was terrifying. I couldn't help but think to myself, _Is this what I want?_ Our lips met, making me realize that yes, it was what I wanted. Matt was the only one I had ever needed, he completed me as cliché as it sounded, but was so utterly true. His hands found the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head and discarding it to an unknown corner of the room. Deep indigo eyes glinted lustfully as he pulled me onto the bed in a tangle of arms and legs. My breathing became ragged as our kisses became deeper and more passionate, mingling the taste of chocolate and minty toothpaste. Matt removed both my jeans and boxers in a single swift, graceful movement, letting my growing erection free. He gave me a questioning look and I nodded despite the fact I hadn't known what he had planned. A moment later, I felt the slippery warmth of his tongue run up my length causing me to tip my head back as I relished in the intoxicating endorphins that coursed through my veins. My breath hitched in my throat and Matt took me into his mouth, bobbing slowly at first, then varying his pace. A drawn out moan escaped my lips and I balled the sheets into my fists. I glanced down towards Matt, meeting a pair of intensely glowing blue orbs. My hips twitched upward, forcing myself deeper into his mouth. The look in his eyes had been too much, but he removed his mouth from my throbbing cock, gagging slightly. An apology formed on my lips, however, it was lost as Matt kissed me furiously. My hands raked down Matt's torso and removed the towel that was hitched around his hips. I felt him smirk against my lips and he reached above my head. He pulled back, revealing the black bottle Beyond had given him and coated his fingers in the slippery substance. Taking me in again, he inserted a finger into my entrance. I squirmed at the foreign feeling, but was soon lost in the ecstasy Matt's mouth was pulling me into. I was barely aware of a second finger being added, stretching me further and adding a third moments later. The sensation of his mouth encasing me dissipated and his fingers were removed. "Mihael," his voice was soft, delicate and breathy.

"Mm?" Was my only response, too incoherent to muster anything else. My gaze met his.

"May I.. do this?" His cheeks changed from red to crimson as he tugged at his bottom lip.

I caressed his face and nodded, "Yes."

A nervous smile graced his features, "This is probably... Going to hurt.." He murmured as he lathered himself up with lube and cast me a final questioning look. I nodded, urging him to go further. He slowly pressed into me, pain stung me to the core. Matt let out a low groan when his member became fully sheathed inside of me. "Sorry." He panted and let me adjust to the alien feeling. I hissed as he slowly pulled out before pushing back in. We continued at the slow pace for a few moments longer, letting me fully get used to it. Matt picked up the pace as we quickly fell into a rhythm. Pain had subsided and was replaced as he rammed into a bundle of nerves buried deep inside of me. I threw my head back as a moan ripped through my chest. Matt's hands entwined with mine, giving him move leverage to thrust into me. I lost myself in the rush of hormones as my body tensed and a flash of white engulfed me. Moments late Matt spilled his seed inside of me. When I opened my eyes, I found my boyfriend's sweat covered face just inches from mine. Our breath mixed as we tried to steady our lungs to a normal pace. I entangled my fingers in his sweat sodden hair and brought my lips to his. "_Ya lyublyu tebya._" I panted.

Matt rolled over and slid himself out of me, then cradled me against his chest. "I love you too, Mihael."

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**A/N: So there's that chapter. Constructive criticism on the smut(?) would be appreciated. Also, I've been busy lately, so I'm kind of terrible about replying to reviews, so I apologize for that. Uh, yeah, pretty much it.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Whose bed was this and why was it so warm? I attempted to tear the blankets from my sweating body, but was restrained by something constricting my upper half and a (literal) pain in my ass. God, what the fuck was going on? I opened my eyes to see a pale, angelic face framed with chestnut brown locks. Not being able to help myself, I took my hand and caressed the beautiful face. Now I remembered what had happened last night. Life is so perfect right now. I let one hand dance through his soft tresses and the other gently trace the contour of his face. What had I done to deserve something so perfect in my life? I listened to his slow, steady breathing and waited for him to wake up. I could hear the muted traffic rushing outside and people wandering the corridors of the hotel. I gently kissed his soft lip, causing him to stir in his sleep. He began to kiss back and intense blue eyes met mine. "Good morning." He whispered.

"Morning, Matty," sleep was apparent in my voice. Placing a kiss on the tip of his nose I said, "I'm going to take a shower."

He released me from his grasp with a sleepy smile. "M'kay.." Matt yawned.

The next thing I said surprised even me, "Care to join?" Wait, what? Oh good God, I couldn't believe I said that and apparently, neither could Matt.

"Someone is either in a good mood or on drugs," he said smugly. "But, I'm gonna have a cig or two and make some coffee. You want some?" I raised my eyebrows at him. "What?" He asked, clearly confused.

"_Coffee_?" I asked, chuckling to myself.

"Oh. Right. How about some _hot chocolate_ then, princess?" I heard the amusement poking through his sarcastic tone.

I hit his chest playfully and stood up wincing at the pain in my rear end. "Ouch."

Matt laughed, pushing himself into a sitting position, "Aw, I didn't fuck you too hard, did I, love?" I shot a glare at him and walked to the bathroom with a slight limp. He quickly reworded his statement, "Sorry, sorry. But I wasn't too... rough.. was I?" His tone was sincere and apologetic. I shook my head, "No, don't worry." I heard Matt sigh loudly in relief as I shut the bathroom door.

The shower allowed me to think. My relationship with Matt was obviously brought to an entirely new level and I wasn't quite sure how to act. Maybe out relationship would become more physical and eventually, that's all it would be. Sex. I didn't want that to happen, even though I liked having sex. But I enjoyed being around Matt, our senseless conversations and serious ones, how we could go from beating each other up to cuddling. I didn't want to lose that, loved that part of our relationship. I didn't want to lose the sweet things he did that I never expected him to. Speaking of sweet, unexpected things, how the hell did he afford all this? It had to cost _at least_ ten grand. Matt didn't have a job, his family wasn't rich. Maybe he stole it. I scoffed. _Yeah, because Matt seems like the type to steal._ I rolled my eyes at the thought, what the hell was wrong with me? Thinking my boyfriend would fucking steal. Yeah, when hell freezes over. I shut off the boiling hot water before toweling myself dry and getting dressed. After escaping from the heat and humidity of the bathroom, I looked for Matt. He was sitting out on the balcony, smoking away, wearing loose pajama pants and a flannel shirt. Was he immune to the cold? I grabbed my jacket and joined him in the frigid air. He smiled at me behind his cigarette before exhaling a puff of smoke. After stubbing it out on the railing, he tossed it off the side. "Be right back." Matt said and disappeared into the hotel room. I sat by myself, listening to the life of the city buzz twelve floor beneath me, freezing my ass off. The fact that I was Russian did _not_ mean I was immune to the cold. But it would be nice to have blood that was actually hot, instead of lukewarm. I sighed and felt a thick coat being wrapped around my shoulders as I realized my teeth were chattering. I glanced up at Matt as he pressed a mug of hot chocolate into my frozen hands. "Hot chocolate with two squares of dark chocolate, three spoonfuls of chocolates syrup and-" he leaned down to peck my lips, "Topped off with a kiss." Maybe our relationship wouldn't be just sex.

"Thanks," I smiled, "How did you remember all that?"

He gave me the are-you-kidding-me look. "You're my boyfriend, I love you and I just so happen to like making you happy. Is that reason enough?" His laugh filled the air and he lit up another cigarette. He eyed me curiously, "What's wrong, Mels?"  
I shook my head, "Nothing.. Just.. How did you get money for this?"

My question caused Matt to choke on the smoke. "W-what?" He coughed.

I knew he heard what I said, but repeatedly my question. "How did you get money for this?"

Matt closed his eyes for a moment and took a long drag. Blowing the smoke from his nose, he looked at me. "You really wanna know?" I nodded. With a sigh he said, "Alright, just don't hate me." He murmured and frowned slightly. "So, you know how I have an obsession with my games and such. It has something to do with that-"

"You didn't sell them, did you?" If he fucking sold his video games for me, I would kill him.

"Hell no! I love you, Mello, but I would never do that to my games! Fucking, lunatic." He rolled his eyes and continued. "Anyway, if you've ever been in my room, you would have seen about five computers, three for gaming of course. Game systems, stacks of games, everything you would expect. A few guns and knives, movie posters, action figures, sci-fi movies, game controllers. You know, all that stuff." He paused to inhale more cancerous smoke.

"What do you use the two not gaming computers for?"

Matt smirked, "Hacking."

"W-what?" I sputtered. _Hacking?_ "Hacking into what, you dumb fuck?!" God, I am going to kill him.

He held up a hand in surrender, "Hear me out before you push me off the balcony." A low laugh rumbled through the air. "Alright, so you know my father. The one that isn't Scott. I'll just call him... Mr. Mafia. Yeah." Matt smirked, proud of himself.

"Real creative, Matt." I scoffed.

"Hey! Stop interrupting if you want me to tell you! Anyway, Mr. Mafia has a lot of money, obviously because he's in the mafia selling prostitutes and what not. So, I found his personal bank account and stole money from it. I've been doing this ever since I was thirteen, so almost six years now." _Almost six years, but that.._

"How old are you, Matt?" I had just turned seventeen, there was no way Matt was two years older than me, we had three of the same classes.

"I'll be nineteen in February." He waved his hand as if dismissing it.

"Why the hell are you still in high school?" I demanded.

"Well, I'm a senior this year, I was last year too, but I never showed up. I'm getting my diploma this year, so it's fine."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Matt shrugged, "I didn't think it was important and I thought you already knew." Goddammit. Why do I find out things so much later than others? "Anyway, continuing. So, I've been hacking into Mr. Mafia's bank account for almost six years now, among other rich peoples'. I take out about two to three grand every week from each account and that is how my family makes most of their money."

I stared, not knowing quite what to say. "So what happens when you get caught, genius?" I said sarcastically.

"Probably get killed or sent to prison. I don't know. It won't ever happen, though. My computers are untraceable. No one will be able to find them or me, so don't worry about it." He stood up and stretched, "I'll be fine, Mihael."

"Yeah, you better be." I muttered.

He laughed, "Come on, I want to do stuff today."

"What about your leg?"

"What about it?"

"How does it feel?"

With a shrug he said, "It's healing. Walking on it will help."

"You're immune to everything, aren't you?"

"Everything except your comments," Matt smirked.

"You're an idiot."

"I love you too." He laughed as he pulled the sliding door open, letting me go in first.

"Someone wants to get laid tonight," I scoffed.

"Oh? You didn't get enough last night? I wonder how many noise complaints we got, you were being rather loud."

I shot a glare at him, "I was not."

Matt shrugged as he shut the door behind him. "What do you want to do today?" He went to our suitcases and began riffling through them.

"You mean other than push you off the balcony? Hmm..." I thought for awhile, "Surprise me."

He turned around, facing me with two shirts, one long sleeved, the other short. "Stripes or video games?"

"Why does that matter?" Sometimes, it was hard to remember that Matt was gay and other times, like this, it was hard to forget. "I'm not your mom. Pick out your own clothes."

"Pick one!"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Stripes."

"I was thinking that too. Tretyakov Gallery it is!"

"Did you look up everything to do here or something?"

"Pretty much." He smiled and pulled his shirt on over his head. "Don't worry, it'll be fun."

"And cold," I grumbled as I slipped my arms into Matt's thick coat. "You better have another one of these for yourself. You're not getting this back."

We spent most of the day are Tretyakov Gallery, then went and got something hot to eat at a local cafe. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed mom's cooking until then. "You look happy." Matt commented as we ate.

"I am. Spending the day with my boyfriend in Russia, eating food like mom used to cook with him, it's perfect."

Matt smiled, "I'm glad." A few bites later, he said, "So, I was thinking we could go to a club tonight?"

I glared up at him from my meal. "Do you or do you not remember what happened the last time we went to a club?"

"I won't leave you this time."

"Matt, I don't want to go."

"Please, Mello? I'll love you forever." He pouted.

I leaned over the table and pressed my lips to his, "No."

"Why not?" He whined.

"I don't want you to end up dead. But I have a better idea for tonight."

He tilted his head to the side like a dog, "Hm?" he asked through a mouthful of food.

"No, no. You'll find out." After we paid, we wandered around the city, looking at the small stores and wandering around a few.

"Oh! I know what you have planned!" Matt exclaimed.

"What then?"

"You're going to play video games with me tonight!" His voice was filled with excitement.

"No."

"Um... We're going to play cribbage?"

I snapped my gaze away from the antique army jacket I was looking at, "_What?_"

His face turned slightly pink, "I don't.. I don't know.. Just tell me!"

"You'll see, Mail." I murmured, but earned a glare from my nerdy companion. It was so much fun to keep Matt guessing, maybe I should start doing this more often.

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**A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update this, I didn't have any ideas for it and I've been busy working on stuff for my cosplay and such. Anyway thanks for all the lovely reviews so far! I love hearing everyone's opinions! c:**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

So, here we were, in the hotel room playing chess in fucking candle light. I _had_ been planning on taking Matt to the O2 lounge, but a snowstorm just decided to roll on in and knock the power out. Thank you mother nature. I sighed and glanced up at Matt, his face illuminated by the warm flickering of the candles, "Did you go yet?"

"Shh. I'm thinking." He moved his knight, but kept his fingers on it, making sure that was what he wanted to do. Matt nodded and removed his fingers, "Checkmate!" He declared.

I examined the board, seeing that Matt had, for the sixth time, cornered my king into a checkmate. I groaned. "Can we play a game that, oh, I don't know, I'm good at?"

"How about cribbage?" He smiled and looked exited.

I rolled my eyes, "That's the thirtieth time you've asked me in the past three hours."

"So? Come on, please?" Matt begged.

"No. I don't even know how to play."

"I'll teach you!"

And cue mentally bashing my head in, "We don't even have a board."

Matt's face fell, "Oh. Well.. How about.."

"Can we just go to bed?"

"It's only eight o'clock!" He argued.

"Fine." I sighed, "What do you want to do, then?"

"We could.. watch a mo- Wait, uh, hm.." He was a quiet a moment then smiled broadly, "Tell ghost stories!"

I glared at him, "No, I'd rather play cribbage."

Matt scoffed, "You're just afraid of stupid stories."

"They're not stupid when they're real!" Yeah, I was superstitious. Why? Because you don't joke around with the dead or they'll haunt you. Matt knew I felt that way, but never stopped teasing me about it.

With a heavy sigh he said, "Fine, fine. We can tell fairy tales, alright, princess?"

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever floats your boat."

Matt smiled, "Okay. So, let's see.. Vor einem grossen Walde wohnte ein armer Holzhacker mit-"

I cut him off not understanding a word he was saying. "What? I don't speak German or whatever the hell you were speaking."

"What are you talking about? I wasn't speaking German."

"Yes you were! You said _for ein gross_ something. I don't know."

Matt laughed, "Oops. Sorry, I didn't mean to. I don't know any in English."

"How the hell not?"

"Makes more sense in German." He said with a shrug. I gave a heavy sigh and leaned my head against the wall. Matt stood up and stretched, I could hear each vertebrate in his back pop as he went. "I'm going to go have a smoke." I stood up and followed him out onto the balcony, where he lit up a cigarette. It was still snowing, but not as heavily as before. The city was dark, save for the glistening blanket of snow that covered everything. "This is not how I expected things to go." Matt mused. I shrugged and rested my head against his shoulder. "Could be a lot worse."

"How?"

Matt's arm snaked around my waist and he gave me a sidelong look. "Well, one of could be dead or we could not be together. But look at this," he motioned to this silent city, "It's like everything is on pause, but we're still here, together. I wouldn't want it any other way.

I smiled and nudged him with my elbow, "Why are you my boyfriend?"

"How do you mean?" He turned toward me, a curious look on his face.

"As in, why do you want to be with me? I'm so awful to you and you're nothing but nice." I couldn't understand why someone would love me as much as he does. I loved that he loved me and I loved him, but it just didn't make sense.

Matt turned towards me, gripping my shoulders tightly, "Mihael, I love you. I don't care that you're a total ass sometimes, you make me happy. I would do anything for you, no matter what." He gave a light laugh, "Besides, I'm your bitch."

I rolled my eyes and smirked, "I should get you collared."

He raised his eyebrows, "Collared? I didn't know you were into that stuff. I'll keep that in mind." Matt took a drag and blew the smoke into the cold air where it hung.

I eyed the cigarette with a sudden curiosity, "Let me see that."

"See what?" He held up the cancer causing stick, "This?"

"Yes. I want to see why you're so fixated with that thing." Matt shrugged and held it out. I took a drag, accidentally swallowing the bitter smoke. I coughed violently, filling the silent night with the sound and leaving my throat feeling raw. I glared up at Matt, "I-idiot." I sputtered. Matt smiled smugly and shrugged as if to say "Told you so."

The rest of our trip was fantastic without any other problems. I loved spending so much time with Matt without any interruption. In Moscow, we went to TSUM and the Kremlin Museum, among other places. At St. Petersburg, we visited the Winter Palace, St. Isaac's Cathedral and many other beautiful attractions. I really didn't want to leave the place my parents were born. Sadness was starting to seep into my otherwise joyful mood and Matt noticed. "You really don't want to leave, huh?"

"Not really." I sighed.

"Hm. Well, maybe after you graduate, we can move there."

"You would do that? Leave your family for me?"

"Of course I would, I'd do anything for you." He smiled, sincerity obvious in his eyes.

Now we were at the airport back home, waiting for Misa and Beyond. "Mihael!" A shrill voice called from behind us, followed by the loud clacking of high heels on the tiled floor. I turned and saw my sister rushing towards me as fast as her legs could carry her in those ridiculous shoes. She flung herself at me, hugging me as tight as she could, "I missed you so much! Oh how was it?! You have to tell me everything? Did you and Matt have fun? I'm so excited to have you back!"

I laughed, "Misa, calm down. Deep breaths, alright."

She pulled back and examined my face, "You're just glowing, Mihael!" Misa raised her eyebrows at me, then looked to Matt, "Oh Matt!" She sang, "Did you corrupt my dear saint of a brother?" Matt blushed and Misa let out a giggle.

"Misa!" I groaned.

"What?" She asked innocently. I rolled my eyes and didn't answer as we walked out of the front doors of the airport. Beyond was waiting in his large, black truck and we all climbed in.

"So, Matt," Beyond smirked, "Was that little black bottle of use to you?"

Matt glared at him, causing Misa to giggle again, "Yeah, actually it was." He admitted, but his face turned a dark crimson.

"So how was it Melsy?" My sister asked, turning around in her seat to face us in the back.

Before I could answer, Beyond smacked her butt and said, "Hey, babe, wanna move your fat ass so I can see the damn road?"

Misa blushed, she _blushed_. Even though you would expect it from her, I had _never_ seen her blush because of a guy. She sat down and craned her neck to the seat. I raised my eyebrows at her, "Have something to tell us, Misa?" It was typical behavior for Beyond, but the way he looked at her made me think twice. It was as if he was flirting with her. _Wasn't he with A?_

"Well.." She trailed off and cast a look to Beyond who waved his hand as if to give her permission. "Beyond and I are.. Well.. We're dating!" She squeaked.

I glanced at Matt, seeing he had the same amount of shock spread on his face as I did. "_What?"_ we asked simultaneously. "What happened to Jev? And Beyond, what about A?"

Beyond let out a long sigh and hung his head, "A.. He.. Killed himself.." Misa gave him a thoughtful look and kissed his cheek.

Misa nodded slowly, as if remembering the day. "Beyond called me, crying his eyes out-"

"I was not crying my eyes out." Beyond interjected.

Misa ignored him and continued, "I couldn't understand what he was saying, so I drove over to his house and found him sitting on the bathroom floor, hugging the tub tightly. And well.. I kissed him because I felt bad and one thing led to another." My sister bit her lip and looked at the floor.

"You didn't, you know..?" Came Matt's voice from beside me. I found it funny how when it was just Matt and I, he was an open book, without censoring his thoughts, but around everyone else, he was careful with what he said.

Beyond glanced back at us in the rear view mirror, laughing. "No, we did not, you dirty pervert. But I know you two did."

I scoffed, "Yeah, _we're_ dirty perverts. _You're _the one who gave us lube."

"Would have happened anyway." That shut me up.

"Anyway," Misa chirped, "How was your trip? Tell me everything!"

I glanced at my sister's new boyfriend, catching him shaking his head, "Hey, she's your girlfriend."

"Your sister."

I rolled my eyes and launched into the details of our vacation, telling her everything, except the details of sex with Matt. Matt would break away from his pixel world and add something every once in awhile as we drove. After I finished, Misa beamed at us and said, "I'm glad you two had so much fun! Ready to go back to school on Thursday?"

"Misa, don't remind me." I wasn't ready to go back to school, I wanted to stay with Matt in our own little world.

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**A/N: Ugh, short chapter, but it's sort of a filler so.. yeah. Anyway, what do you think of the whole Misa/Beyond thing? I would love to hear your opinions!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

So, time passed, school ended finally. We had a small funeral for A, or Ace, as I found out at his funeral. I also found out he didn't tell anyone his name except Beyond because he was afraid someone would kill him. I ranked second in my class right behind _Nate_. I hate him, really I do. He just mocks _everything_ I do and does it better. Oh, and everyone in the damn school adores him! I don't know why because, well, look at the albino freak. He doesn't even talk to anyone willing, but everyone fawns over him. I don't get. Stupid albino squirrel. No, not squirrel, more like a sloth. Yes, a sloth, an albino sloth. Did I mention how much I hate him? Well, I do, a lot.

Matt and I have now been together for eight months and if I may say, it has been the best eight months of my entire life. I get jealous easily, I'd never admit that to Matt, but it's true. Because beside Nate, he is probably the most popular kid in school. Both girls and guys flirt with him constantly and I kind of just want to kill them all. Anyway, aside from that, Matt graduated third in his class which _is_ surprising. I've seen him in class and he doesn't pay attention at all. Just sits there and taps away on his gaming device which he's _not _supposed to have during class, but the teachers seem not to care. If he actually tried, I wonder if he would be offered scholarships to all the prestige colleges in the entire world.

Matt's family threw a graduation party and apparently L, Beyond and Light were also graduating. Misa and Beyond were still together, which was surprising. Beyond treated her well, even if he was creepy at times. Matt and I went on dates a lot, but never to a nightclub for obvious reasons. Summer was treating us all well with late nights, parties, and no cares about homework or anything. However, Matt had been acting strange a few weeks after school let out. At first he just seemed to be hiding something like he had over Christmas, so I left it alone in case he had another sort of surprise brewing. But as the weeks wore on, Matt had become jumpy and paranoid and hardly left the house. Every time a door opened, the wind blew, the doorbell rang or any small thing happened, he would jump and try to hide himself. With every question one would ask, even a simple "How are you?" he would demand who wants to know. Heavy bags were forming beneath his eyes, much like L's. I knew before he had sleeping problems, but he slept _some, _but now it was as if he never slept. His behavior was starting to worry me, so I decided to ask him about it. I knocked lightly on his bedroom door, no doubt that he would jump, but there wasn't a way around it. "Y-yeah? Who is it?"

"It's just me, Matt." I tried to say as gently as I could.

The door opened slowly, revealing my goggle wearing boyfriend, "M-Mello?"

"Yes, Matt." I said with a small smile. I hated seeing him like this. "Can we talk?"

He nodded slowly and opened the door wider. "Sure." I stepped in and he closed the door behind me. I took his hands in mine and looked and looked him in the eye. "Oh god.." Matt murmured, "You're not.. breaking up with me, are you?" I could see tears cloud his eyes and he spoke in a rush. "Oh, Mello, please don't. I love you and I don't want to-"

I kissed him gently, cutting off his words. "Matt. Mail, I would _never_ leave you, okay? I love you and I will be here no matter what."

"R-really?" He stuttered.

I kissed his forehead, "Yes, really."

"Oh, okay." He wiped away the tears that had leaked out and took me to his bed. "Then what do you want to talk about?"

"I'm just worried about you. You've been acting so strange and I don't know why."

I wished Matt hadn't been wearing his goggles so I could have seen the emotion in his cobalt eyes. His eyes always told his true emotions. He was quiet for a moment, then smirked. "Mello, I'm fine, don't worry. As long as you're here, I'll be fine." He leaned in and kissed me deeply, running his tongue across my bottom lip. I opened my mouth, letting our tongues meet. God, I loved the way he tasted. He pushed me back on the bed and pulled my shirt up, revealing my stomach.

I groaned lowly, then remembered why I was here. I gently pushed him off, "Matt, no."

He stopped and looked at me in a dejected way, "Why not?"

"Mail, please tell me what's going on. I'm worried about you."

He sat up and ran his hand through his hair, "Mello, it's just this game I'm playing. It freaks me out so badly, but I have to beat it." I stared at him incredulously. A _game_ was why he was acting like this? "It's stupid I know, but the guy that chases you just scares me and I don't know. I'm sorry."

"Matt, you know you can tell me anything, you know that." I was relieved that it was just because of a game, so I didn't let it bother me that he hadn't told me.

"I know, it was just embarrassing. I'm sorry."

"Matty, it's fine. But if you want to apologize, I'll show you how you can." I smirked seductively.

"Oh? How's that?" He asked, leaning closer to me. I tugged on his shirt, pulling him down and crushing my lips against his. Our clothes found their way into a heap on the floor and awhile later we were laying on his bed, our limbs intertwined and our skin sticking together with the help of sweat. "I love you Mihael." he kissed my forehead.

"Mm, you too, Mail."

A few days passed and Matt seemed to be doing better. I was leaving to go to his house, but when I opened the door, I found myself face to face with him, his hand raised to knock. "Matt? I was just going to go over to your house."

"Uh, yeah. I need to talk to you."

I shrugged, "Alright, go ahead."

He took a deep breath, "Mello, I'm moving. My grandma is dying and my mom wants to be there for her, so we're moving."

"What? I'll still be able to see you, won't I?"

Matt shook his head, "I'm sorry, but she doesn't approve of people like us."

"But Matt!" I couldn't believe this, I loved him! He shouldn't give a damn what people think, he never had before.

"Mello, I'm sorry. I want to make this quick, they're waiting for me." He gave me a peck, "I love you, but we can't be together anymore, I'm sorry."

"Matt, you're kidding, right? Please don't do this, please?" I was begging now, I couldn't lose him, not after everything.

"I'm sorry. I should go. Take care of yourself, alright?" He forced a smile and left. Now I knew what they meant when they said "Getting your heart broken", it fucking hurts. It feels like someone shot you in the chest, but you haven't died, you're just sitting there in agonizing pain, waiting to die. I blinked back the tears and slammed the door. _Why the hell did he leave? _He didn't even seem to care. I guess this always happens to me. No one ever wants to stick around. I trudged upstairs. I wasn't ever going to get him back, was I? I threw my door open, letting it bang loudly against the wall.

"Mello?!" Misa yelled, alarmed. I didn't answer, just flopped down on my bed, trying to focus on not crying. My boisterous sister pranced into my room, taking one look at me and saying, "What's wrong?" She sat beside me. "Mihael? Why are you crying?"

I glanced at her and shook my head. "Nothing."

"I heard a bunch of slamming, what's going on?" Her tone was now demanding.

Squeezing my eyes shut caused tears to seep through, "Matt. He's gone."

"Gone where?"

"He broke up with me, Misa!" I cried, letting sobs wrack through my body. "God, everyone fucking leaves me! I can't do this anymore! Mom left, dad disowned me. Now _Matt _left me. Misa, I loved him and he broke up with me without a reason! I can't do fucking anything right for anyone!"

"You know mom didn't want to leave you, she loved you. If she could, she would still be here."

Tears slipped down my cheeks and I hugged Misa tightly, "I wish she was still here, then I wouldn't feel this way. Then I wouldn't have met Matt. He never even cared about me!"

"Don't say that, Matt loved you. He loved you as much as or even more than mom did."

"Then why did he leave?" I yelled.

"I don't know, Mello. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be." She said honestly.

"Just leave."

"Mello-"

"Leave!" I sobbed and she stood up, leaving me alone with my tears. I heard her car tires on the pavement bellow. Moments after I was sure she was gone, I put on my boots and wandered around, letting my tears flow freely in the hot summer air. Hours later, I found myself sitting on the curb across the street from Matt's old house. A car pulled into the driveway and a redheaded man got out. He looked at me, squinting his eyes, "Mello?"

That voice it was familiar. "Scott?" Why the hell wasn't he with his family.

He jogged over to me, looking confused, "What are you doin-? Whoa. What happened to you?"

"Matt broke up with me." I sniffled.

"_What_? Why the-? I thought he would have taken you with him."

"He said you were moving to take care of Brandi's mom while she was in the hospital."

He raised his copper eyebrows at me, confusion clouding his green eyes, "She's been dead for the past ten years, Mello! Matt went to LA to become a music producer. I can't believe he lied to you." He held out a hand and helped me to my feet, "Come on, let's get you out of this heat." I followed him numbly, but all that was running through my head was _Matt lied to me._

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**A/N: Sorry for this chapter. Do you think Matt told the truth to his parents, or do you think he lied to them too? Why do you think Matt left? (Don't worry, you'll find out eventually, but I want to know what you think)**

**Also, class starts up again on Tuesday, so I'm not sure how often I'll be updating this, but I will try to update it once a week!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"I can't believe that boy." Brandi said, shaking her head, rich auburn curls bouncing at the movement. "He's been acting strange for the longest time now, said it was all because a game he wanted to beat." So he had been consistent with one thing, "Then this morning he comes up to me, a dead look in his eyes and says 'Ma, I would have told you sooner, but I didn't want to hurt you. I'm moving to LA so I can be a music producer.'" She sighed loudly, "I guess it's his dream and I don't want to get in the way of that. He was all packed up too. He loved you Mello, I would've thought he would take you with."

"Yeah, I thought so too." I muttered, bringing my eyes to meet hers, but glanced away quickly because of how similar they looked to Matt's.

She hugged me tightly. "Oh, Mello. I'm so sorry. You're always welcome here. We all love you and would hate to see you gone."

I forced a smile, "Thanks."

Scott finished drying the dishes and gave me an assessing look, then smiled. "You know, one time, when Mail was about twelve, he ran away."

I could just imagine Matt out on the streets by himself as a kid, it made me chuckle. "Really? Why?"

He shrugged, "What was it, Brandi? Didn't we take his video games away for getting bad grades?" She nodded, a smile on her face. "Anyway, he ended up going to the Lawliet's place. The people who have two sons and the adopted albino boy. Their mother called me up, asking if we knew he was there. I told her to keep him there and not mention she talked to us. A week later, he came home, crying and apologizing. He even asked if we forgave him. Poor kid, his conscience always gets the best of him."

"Last year," Brandi cut in, "He left for the entire school year, he came back of course. Mail apologized everyday until today for it."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

Brandi smiled, "Sweetie, he always comes back. You have to give him time. Okay? But don't dwell on him, date other people, try new things, take risks. Don't spend time waiting for him, it'll only make it seem longer." For some reason, her saying that made me feel a whole lot better.

I nodded, she was right, I shouldn't worry about Matt, he'll be fine. From the corner of my eye, I saw Faith and Kale peeking into the kitchen. Faith leaned in a bit too far, causing Kale to land on the floor with a low thud. He sat up and rubbed his head, a very confused look on his face, "Ow?"

Brandi turned around, "Are you okay?"

Kale gave her a large smile, "Yes! Faith surprised me!"

Faith bent down and kissed the crown of his head, "Sorry." She flickered her gaze to me, "Mello! Will you play with us?"

Well, maybe I could make someone happy. I smiled, "Sure."

"Yay!" Faith sang and grabbed my hand and dragged me toward her room, "You're going to make such a beautiful princess!" Did she say _princess? _

Several long, rhinestone, glitter and pink filled moments later I was Princess Faith's "sister" and Kale was a "dragon". "You look pretty, Princess Mello!"

"Faith-"

"No! It's _Princess_ Faith!" She giggled, I honestly didn't know how she conned me into this.

"Okay, okay. Princess Faith, why am _I_ a princess?"

She pouted, giving me what I assumed to be 'puppy eyes', "Because Matty used to be a princess, but he's not here."

I had a hard time believing that Matt of all people would let his sister dress him up as a princess, no matter how much he loved her. I gave her a scrutinizing look. "Really?"

Looking at the floor, Faith poked it, "Well.. Maybe he wasn't.." She admitted.

"You're lucky you're cute, kid."

Kale giggled beside me, "Marshmallow!"

I glanced at him and saw him pulling out multicolored mini-marshmallows from a bag. "Should you be eating those this late, Kale?"

"YES!" He exclaimed and popped another marshmallow into his mouth. His eyes got wide and he gasped loudly, "You a marshmallow!" Kale pointed his tiny finger at me.

"Me?" I asked and he nodded eagerly. From the doorway, I heard Brandi's voice. "Kale, Faith, it's time to get ready for bed."

"But we just started!" Faith argued.

"Faith, it is plenty past your bedtime." Brandi's voice had a harsh, "no nonsense" tone to it.

"Oh okay." Faith took her younger brother's hand and pulled him out of the room. I stood up and faced Brandi who covered her mouth, trying to hide a smile. "Oh, Mello." She said through a suppressed giggle. "What happened?"

"Faith decided to turn me into a princess." I couldn't help but smile. "Honestly, how ridiculous do I look?"

"Well, you don't look too terrible." Brandi said, her voice muffled by her hand in front of her face. I gave her the are-you-kidding-me look. "Alright, you look ridiculous." She laughed.

I nodded, "Kind of figured." At that moment, I realized something. Ever since I had met Matt and his family, my anger problems were starting to dissipate.

"Come on, let's get that makeup washed up. I don't think you want to walk around looking like a circus clown." I followed her to the bathroom where the kids were brushing their teeth. Brandi grabbed a towel from the linen closet and got it damp, then began ridding my face of the makeup.

"Mommy! Is Mello staying over?!" Faith asked hopefully.

"It is getting late, Mello. Why don't you spend the night?"

I shrugged, not feeling like going home to Misa. "Well, I guess I could." Brandi smiled sweetly.

"Mommy, can he stay in my room?"

"No, hon, he's staying in Matt's room. Go and get in bed, I'll be there in a minute." The kids dashed off and Brandi smiled, "You know where his room is. I'm going to bed after I put them down. If you need anything, just holler." She turned and left. I exited the bathroom and wandered to Matt's room. His scent clung to the air, filling my lungs. I felt as if he was there with me. My throat felt raw as fresh tears sprung in my eyes. _Of course this would happen._ I thought to myself and sat on his bed, looking through the stack of CD cases sitting on his nightstand. Somewhere in the middle of the stack, I found one that had _**M. Keehl Mix **_written in his somewhat messy handwriting on a piece of white paper. I slipped the paper from the case and unfolded it, seeing a list of seventeen songs and descriptions on it.

**_1.) I Miss You – Blink 182 I miss you all the time, even when you're right next to me. You're always in my thoughts and I hate being away from you. I don't want you to ever leave me, even if I'm not the greatest at times. I'm sorry for leaving, I have a reason, but I can't tell you. The amount I'll miss you is agonizing, even just thinking about it._**

_**2.) L.O.V.E – Nat King Cole I love you. I love the way you look at me, you're truly the only one I actually see, your face is the only one that isn't a blur. You are very, very extraordinary and I love you even more than my video games. Love is for us. We were meant to be. I love you, babe.**_

_**3.) Kiss Me – Sixpence None the Richer I sung this to you awhile back. Every time we kiss, it's like magic. I love kissing you. I just want to sit out by a lake in the country, underneath the moon and stars and kiss you. I love the way you can be so gentle and so fierce. I sung this to you in your sleep all the time.**_

_**4.)Pictures of You – The Cure I'm glad I have pictures of you and us saved on my phone. It makes me smile to see the happiness in your eyes and the way you look at me. Sometimes it's hard to believe that we are together. I look at them for hours on end, thinking of you.**_

_**5.) Forever and Always – Parachute I will always love you. Forever. Not until the day either of us dies, but beyond that. You're mine and I'm yours. I won't ever let you leave my heart, even if we are physically away from each other. And I hope you can forgive me after all this.**_

_**6.) Kiss Me Slowly – Parachute Our first time was the most beautiful thing in the entire world. I can't forget about the way you looked at me, like I was God himself. You trusted me to take something like that away from you and I simply am astounded by what we did. I will never regret that. I love what we did. And in that time that we were doing what we did, I started to love you more than I had. I love you.**_

_**7.)Tainted Love – Soft Cell Our love may seem to be poisoned, but I don't care what anyone else thinks. We love each other and that's that. It doesn't matter that we both have dicks, because our love is pure.**_

_**8.) Guardian Angel – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus I will always be there for you. I will do anything to save you. I don't fucking care if I die, I want you to be safe and well. I will keep you safe for the rest of my life. That's a promise.**_

_**9.) With or Without You – U2 I can't live without you. And I hate myself for leaving like this and lying, but I have to do this to protect you. I hope you're okay. I would go to hell and back for you. I will wait for you forever if I have to. I'm so sorry.**_

_**10.) Iris – Goo Goo Dolls The main reason I stayed at your house when my leg was shot was because you made the pain go away. I don't want to leave, I wish I could spend more time with you. I hate to have to be so far away from you, because you're like my angel. Honestly, at times, our relationship felt like one from Hollywood screens. I want you to know who I am, all of it, but now just isn't the time. I'll tell you one day, love, but not today.**_

_**11.) Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol Maybe we should just sit back and watch the world together. Because I don't know what my purpose in life is, but I know I want you to be in it. We can forget everything about the bad and focus on the good. Because when we catch one of those cars we are chasing, we wouldn't know what to do with it. Just stay with me, okay?**_

_**12.) Sweet Child O' Mine – Guns N' Roses When I look at you, it's honestly like a dream. Your eyes are so beautiful and I hate seeing you upset and worried about me. It's going to tear me apart when I break up with you.**_

_**13.) Enjoy the Silence – Depeche Mode I love that we can just sit in silence and have it not being awkward. I enjoy every minute of it and sometimes I like it better than talking. Because just being with you is perfection, without dumb words to ruin it. Having you in my arms is more than words could ever do.**_

_**14.) Everlong – Foo Fighters I wish I didn't have to leave. I'm so sorry. I want us to last forever. But after the pain I've caused you, the happiness will resume. Just trust me and our love will last forever**_

_**15.) Falling For You – Colbie Caillat Oh, how gay I feel. But everyday I feel like I'm falling in love with you again. When we first started dating, I kept telling myself that I didn't love you, that I wouldn't fall for you, but I realized it was too late. I'm falling for you over and over and I hope you do the same.**_

_**16.) The Kill – 30 Seconds to Mars I just like this song, so I thought I'd share it with you.**_

_**17.) Marry Me – Train I hope you'll forgive me for leaving you. Mihael, after I get back, I hope we can be together again. Even though forever isn't long enough, I want to spend it with you. I don't know if you ever find this, but if you do, I hope you're reading this with as much thought possible. Mihael, I love you more than anything in the entire world. You're my everything and I wouldn't want anyone else. So, maybe you've forgiven me already, but maybe you haven't. I don't know. Either way; Will you marry me, Mihael Keehl?**_

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**A/N: So, I should be getting ready to go out right now, but I HAD to write this! Those songs on that CD Mello found are amazing and you should check them out! There will be a few more chapters told in Mello's POV and then it will switch to someone else's. I have to admit, while writing this chapter, I cried a bit. Anyway, thank you ****_all_**** so very much for all the reviews, they make me smile and your opinions mean a lot!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

I blinked. _He wanted to marry me? But.._ I was suddenly energized as emotion consumed me. It surged through me, making me rise to my feet, causing CD's to spill onto the floor with a loud clatter. I had to find him. I had to go. I ran into the kitchen and started riffling through the drawers in search of writing utensils. "Mello? What on Earth are you doing?"

I turned and saw a confused Brandi standing in the doorway. "Matt-He left me a thing-Igottago!" I sputtered, not being able to make a coherent sentence. Running down the stairs, I pulled my shoes on as fast as I could.

"Mello, slow down! What's going on?"

I shook my head, "I was going through his music and I found this-" I held up the CD case briefly, "I gotta find him! He-he told me something and I just- Gotta go!" I hauled the door open, a goofy smile on my face, then I remembered something. "Oh! Thank you!" I waved and ran in the direction of Misa's condo. My feet pounded heavily on the sidewalk as thoughts ran through my head. _Matt asked me to marry him! I can't believe it! _I ran faster, trying get to Misa's as quickly as possible. My foot caught an uneven gap in the sidewalk, causing me to stumble. "Fuck." I muttered, standing back up, too excited to feel the blood seeping from my hands. I glanced around, seeing my sister's house in the distance. Once there, I wrenched the door open, and called for her. "Misa! MISA!" She didn't answer. "Dammit! MISA YOU HOME?!" Still no answer. Fuck, she must be at Beyond's. I swiped an old book from the coffee table and tore out a blank page from the back, then spotted her credit card which I promptly pocketed. On the torn out page I scrawled a note to my obnoxious sister.

_Misa, going to a place._

_Found something out._

_No time to explain, took your credit card._

_Mel_

I ran back out into the sticky night air and took off in the direction of the airport. _Dammit, forgot clothes. _Oh well, I didn't fucking care. I had to find Matt! Stopping to catch my breath, I checked my surroundings only to find that I was completely lost! I ran my hand through my now sweaty hair. _Of course I'd get lost._ "Damn it all!" I yelled out into the quiet night and began walking in what I thought was the right direction. Ten minutes later, a car drove up close to the curb where I was walking. "You look lost." Called the man in the passenger seat.

I glanced over, seeing a man who I guessed to be in his late twenties. He had dirty blond hair and brown eyes. "Actually, I am. I was trying to get to the airport."

"You want a ride?" He smiled sincerely.

I probably shouldn't have said yes, but I was desperate to get the the airport as fast as I could. I nodded, "Sure, thanks." The car stopped and I climbed into the vehicle.

"I'm Mark, that's Chris." Said the man who I had been talking to originally.

"Mello." I said.

"So, where are you going after you get to the airport?" Mark asked.

"Los Angeles."

"Ah, nice. Visiting a friend or something?"

"Something of the sort." The rest of the ride was silent and I gazed out the window. We passed a large building that looked like the airport. "Hey, you missed it." I said.

Chris looked at me through the mirror, a smirk forming on his lips, his eyes cold. "I know."

"That's my stop." I stated. Something wasn't right here, in fact, it was completely wrong. "Let me out." The hairs on the back of my neck started to prickle. What the hell was going on?

"No can do. Sorry."

I unbuckled my seat belt and tried to pry the door open, but it stay in place. "Let me out of the damn car, you sick bastard!" I yelled, attempting to kick the window out.

Mark chuckled, "It's bulletproof, there's no way you'll be able to kick it out."

I reached around the seat, snaking my arm around his neck and pressing as hard as I could into his esophagus. He made a gargling sound and Chris just laughed darkly and looked in the rear view mirror at something. "Diego." He said coolly. I felt something hard connect with the back of my head, pain searing in my skull. A yelp forced it's way through my lips and I felt myself falling in slow motion. My head hit something else and I stopped falling. My vision blurred and I was struck again, causing my eyelids to slip down. Then, the world was black.

I was brought back to consciousness several times, but unable to see. My wrists were bound behind my back and something was in my mouth, sucking up all the moisture and keeping my pained groan stuck in my throat. I was jostled around quite a bit and could hear hushed voices in the distance. I was never fully aware of my surroundings and my head hurt like a bitch. _Why the hell did I get in their damn car?!_

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**A/N: Very short chapter, sorry about that. The next chapter will switch to Matt's point of view since Mello is obviously not very aware of anything whatsoever. Thank you all for reading this far, it truly means a lot!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Part Two**

_**Matt**_

**Chapter Seventeen**

Thirty-one days, sixteen hours, twenty-two minutes and forty-five, no forty-six seconds since I have seen Mello and it's fucking _killing_ me! Tears stung my eyes, but I couldn't cry. Not here, not now. I blew the smoke from my lungs and flicked my cigarette to the sidewalk, scraping the toe of my boot against it. I rapped on the steel door on the backside of the smoke shop, a moment later it opened. "M-Matt." The man stuttered.

"Uh, hey." I said, trying to force a friendly smile. "Do you have my cigs?" Because I was now apart of the mafia, I had a whole gateway to any kind of drug I wanted. My cigarettes were laced with something I didn't want to know, but they sure calmed me down. The man thrust two cartons of cigarettes into my arms with shaking hands, then slammed the door in my face. _Asshole._ I wandered from the alley and into the main crowd of people. I hated this, I hated it all. At the beginning of summer, I found out someone had been trying to hack into my system, they hadn't gotten through of course, but I didn't know how anyone could have found me. So, I strengthened my network, made it near impossible to find me, or so I thought, and experimented by taking half of the mafia's money. Yeah, big fucking mistake. Long story short, the mafia found out who I was, where I lived and _everything. _The leader, my father, contacted me and said that I was hacking for him now. I couldn't argue, he'd kill Mello, I didn't even know how he found out about him! Needless to say, I am now mafia property.

I don't understand the mafia, it's just money, drugs, sex and murder. Hell, you can do that without a damn organization for it! I wasn't about to argue about it, I didn't want to be dead. My life is just one big mess, I'd admit to that. I wonder if Mello ever found that CD. I doubted it, he wouldn't have gone near my house, let alone my room. But what if? _No, Matt, do NOT think about Mello. You know that it will only cause you pain._ Yeah, I couldn't afford pain, especially not now. You see, I had a plan to escape, because if I didn't, I'd be in until the day I die, possibly longer. I heard my phone ring and fished it from my pocket, answering it without checking the caller ID. "Yeah?"

"Matt," a gruff voice said. The voice of my father. "Where the hell are you?"

"Just heading back, boss. I'll be back in a few." I wasn't allowed to leave headquarters so I wouldn't ditch them. I didn't blame them, though. I would ditch the mafia the first chance I got. It was funny how I used to hate going out into public and now that I'm confined to the base, I'll take any chance to go out that they give me. The only time they let me leave is to get my cigs and I take my sweet time getting them, enjoying the momentary freedom. That's probably why I smoke so much now, to escape from that hell hole.

"Hurry up. We need you." The line went dead and I threw my phone back into my pocket. Goddamn needy bastards. I hate them all. Yes, even their dammed prostitutes. The prostitutes were fun though. Because I was expected to fuck them like the rest of the mafia members, I would take one back to my room and we'd sit on the bed. We would speak in whispered tones and then I'd tell her to start moaning obnoxiously and I'd do the same. I'd take a bottle of lotion and she'd muss up her hair and draw strips of the lotion onto her body. What? I wouldn't cheat on Mello, even though I technically broke up with him. Besides, it's funny to have a chick walk out like a complete mess when I hadn't touched her. And everyone knows I can't get off to women. Although, Mello did look like a girl.. _Goddammit! Stop thinking about Mello!_ I growled lowly and unhooked my keys from my belt, shoving it in the lock. I let the heavy door slam shut behind me, locking me in the suffocating walls of the bunker.

Anxiety bubbled in my chest and I searched for my lighter in a frenzy. Leaning against the wall, I tore open my pack of cigarettes, shoving one between my lips and fumbling with the lighter. Inhaling deeply, my anxiety lessened. I tipped my head back, expelling the smoke from my lungs and watched the white cloud hang in the hallway, as if trying to consume the air. This was my piece of heaven for the time being. The door at the other end of the hall flew open, revealing a guy named Paul. He was about the only one I could tolerate in the entire mafia. "Hey, M." He said casually.

"'ey." I said, blowing smoke from my nose.

"Boss wants to see you."

I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose, internally groaning. "What does he want now?" I asked as we walked into the main room of the base. The stench of tobacco, booze, sex and gore filled my nose, making me feel sick. My father, Rodney, sat on the faded red velvet couch, five whores crowded around him. I grimaced. _How fucking disgusting._ A brunette near his feet was pawing at his leg, look at him with large, pleading brown eyes. He kicked her in the face, sending her sprawling onto the dirty floor. Rodney laughed deeply, "Stupid slut." He withdrew his gun from his belt and shot her square in the forehead, her brains splatting on the floor and wall behind her. Obviously I'd gotten my compassion from my mother. He threw his gaze at me and looked astonished, as if he just realized I was in the room. "Ah, Mail." He smirked, "Come, sit." I sauntered over to a chair with fabric ripping off the cushion. I buried my cigarette in the ashtray. I would have chucked it on the floor, but when found out about my smoking, he invested in an ashtray because he "didn't want the base to look like a mess". Yeah, because HQ totally looked like it would be featured on the front of fucking _Homes&Gardens._ Very funny, Rodney. God, he's such an ass. "So, we're going out tonight." He said casually.

By "out" I knew he meant, "Going to an elite mafia strip club so we can fuck some bitches". But by "we" I thought he meant the Main Four. "Okay, you want me to hack you some money and get some info on other mobs?" That was what I usually did when they went out.

He laughed, it was a rough, throaty sound. "No, Matt. Go rest up, you're comin' with us. Put on something nice."

_Well that was unexpected._ "Yes, boss." I stood up and went to my room. I threw the cartons of cigarettes into a drawer and tossed my shirt from my body, letting the cool air force goosebumps to erupt from my skin. My hand clasped the metal beads that hung from my neck. Pressing the crucifix to my lips I murmured, "I love you Mello, hope you're safe." I flopped onto the thin mattress and let sleep overtake me.

_I stood on the balcony, overlooking the blackened city of Moscow. It was beautiful. The snowflakes fluttered down from the sky and landed in his blond hair and his eyes sparkled like the stars. Our fingers were intertwined and I couldn't help but blush. It was so easy to be around him. He kept murmuring sweet things in Russian that made my heart skip, the moment was perfect. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek. "I love you." I whispered._

_He smiled a smile that reached his eyes and kissed me carefully, "I love you too." Even though it was below zero in the winter's night, his touch warmed my soul. I rested my forehead against his, the tips of our noses just touching. The feeling of being around him was indescribable, tears welled in my eyes. "Why are you crying?"_

_"__Promise me you won't ever leave me, Mihael? You'll stay with me, won't you?"_

_He looked at me thoughtfully, cupping my face in his hands, "Of course I will. I wouldn't dream of leaving."_

_The setting shifted and I was standing in the park, overlooking the pond. Through the water fountain, I saw him standing there, his hand clasping someone else's. I met the eyes of A. Wasn't he dead? They made their way around the pond and I watched. The duo sat on a bench and Mello had a wide smile across his face when A leaned in to whisper something in his ear. The blond pressed his lips to A's and I felt my heart shatter like glass. "Mello!" I cried._

_He glanced my way, looking confused, then angry. He gave me the middle finger and continued kissing A._

I woke up gasping for breath and with a pool of tears leaking from my goggles. Maybe he never dreamed of leaving me, but I sure dream of him leaving. I didn't even want to fucking go out tonight. I would have rather hacked the mafia some more damn money. What I actually wanted was a large peperoni and sausage pizza, a nice _comfortable_ bed, my fucking video games and endless South Park episodes. And Mello of course, but that wasn't doable at the moment. But would a damn pizza kill anyone? God I fucking hate this, I hate it all. Rubbing my eyes, I stood, searching for something acceptable to wear. I settled on a red dress shirt, jeans, and a black jacket. I checked myself in the mirror, making sure I didn't look too disgusting. Throwing my goggles from my head, I shrugged. _Who the hell cares anyway? Not like I have anyone to impress._

* * *

**A/N: I love writing in Matt's point of view. Now you know what happened to Matt and such!**

**Ugh, I am so terrible about replying to reviews. I apologize for being so lazy xD**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

I glanced around the dark club, the obnoxious music ringing in my ears, the lack of light making my eyes throb from strain of trying to see. Small stages with lights illuminating the floor, women danced around poles in front of several men with lust clouding their features. There were booths scattered around the place, a man sitting with women fawning over him gave us an acknowledging nod and looked back to the prostitutes. _Why the fuck was I here again?_ We went to a vacant stage, sitting down in the blood red leather seats around it. I propped my feet up on the edge of said stage and clasped my hands behind my head. Who said I couldn't be comfortable? A crimson haired waitress wearing hardly anything came up to us, "What can I get y'all?" She had a high pitched voice with a southern accent, fitting for what she was wearing, really. Rodney and Jack ordered, then it came to me. I realized the girl had been staring at me, a lusty look in her eyes. "And you, darlin'?" She winked. Gross. I let out a puff of air that disturbed the hair hanging in my face, "Uh, Captain and Coke." _Fuck, would she stop staring at me?!_ Joe and Paul ordered and the stripper came strutting down the stage. Her straight, messy blonde hair came to just below her shoulders and hung in her face in an appealing way. Wait, what the hell happened to her face? The left half was marred, the skin was pinched and discolored and I wondered if she could she out of her eye. Speaking of eyes, hers were an icy blue, cold, yet fierce. _How intriguing._ She looked me in the eyes and I felt my stomach twist uneasily. Recognition flashed through the blue. _No. Fuck no!_ I sunk my teeth into my lip to keep myself from yelling in frustration. Crossing my arms, I shifted my gaze to my feet. I wanted to fucking kill someone. I couldn't believe it. Fuck it all. No, this is just another dream, that's all. The waitress returned with our drinks, I snatched mine from her and took a long sip. I wish I would have stayed back at headquarters. _Why the hell was this happening? This was not apart of the plan, goddammit! _I kept my eyes glued to my feet, maybe this would end quickly if I just ignored it. The blonde leaned over, taking my face in her hands and kissing me passionately. I tried to fight it, but my emotions escaped my control. I gave into the kiss groaning softly. I forgot how great this felt. The stripper pulled away, smirking seductively. God, I wanted her so much. She pulled me from my seat and onto the stage, taking me back from the way she came. The blonde pulled me into the room where the strippers usually took a man they'd like to fuck, slamming the door behind her, she glared at me, "What the hell?!"

"Fuck. Mello, why are _you _here?" I demanded, "And what the hell happened to your face?"

"Why the hell did you leave?" He growled, slamming me against the wall. "You fucking lied to me!"

"Mello!" I yelled, hoping that this room was soundproofed, "It's not safe for you here! You need to leave!" I gripped his shoulders tightly.

"I can't!"

I sighed heavily, tears clouding my eyes. I reached up and stroked his marred cheek. "What happened to you?" What happened to the Mello I fell in love with? The one who was sweet and gentle, not harsh and angry.

"I was fucking kidnapped, Mail!"

I raised my eyebrows at him, "You were kidnapped?" I let out a laugh. "What, did a some creep offer you chocolate?"

He rolled his eyes. "I was trying to find you, asshole."

"Why the hell-? How did you-?"

"I found your fucking note." Mello hissed.

"Note? You mean the CD?" I didn't know if I should have been relieved or not.

"Yes, the damn CD. I spent the night at your house and started looking through you CD's. I found it, then decided to come out here, but some assholes kidnapped me before got to the fucking airport! They forced me into prostitution, Matt." He pushed me back against the wall, "Do you think we have fun stripping for the dirty perverts out there? Do you enjoy watching us do this shit against our will?" He gripped the collar of my shirt and brought me just inches away from his face. "Well? Do you?"

I closed my eyes, "No, Mello, I fucking don't! I don't even want to be here, but you know what? I'm glad I am because I got to see you, but I doubt this is even fucking real!" Mello released me from his grip and I slid down the wall until the floor stopped me. I covered my face, tears freely flowing, "I'm so sorry, Mihael. I didn't want to fucking leave, okay? I didn't want you to get killed and if I had stayed, you would be dead now."

"Who would have killed me?" His voice was gentle, like I remembered it being.

"I can't tell you yet. You'll find out one day, I promise. But you need to get out of here." God, I hated this dream, why couldn't I just wake up? I met his beautiful blue eyes, "Tell me what happened to your face."

His hand instinctively went to the scarred flesh, "I was burned."

"How?" I murmured, getting closer to him.

He laughed darkly, "Bondage accident and a fetish of some sort. The perv had a fucking candle over my head, letting the damn wax drip onto my face. He dropped the fucking candle on my face."

I hugged him tightly. _If I ever find that guy, I'm going to fucking kill him. _"Mihael, I'm sorry. All this is my fucking fault! How bad did it hurt? They didn't.. do anything else, did they?" My lungs were tightening in my chest, making it hard to breathe. Mello stood up, removing his shirt. I raked my eyes over his tanned and muscled torso, seeing the bruises, healing cuts and burns. "Mello?" I whispered.

"See Matt?" He growled, "This is what they fucking did to me."

I pulled myself to my feet. If I hadn't left, Mello wouldn't be in such a roughed up condition, he wouldn't have half his face burned off, he wouldn't be a fucking stripper! "You must fucking hate me." Why couldn't I just wake up from this dream already?

"_What?_ You think I hate you?" Mello launched himself into my arms, "I would never hate you, idiot!"

"Mello, you need to get out of here." I said desperately.

"But I just found you! What the hell is going on, Matt?!"

"Shh! I can't tell you now. Mello, listen to me." A plan formed in my head suddenly. _Thank you Zelda._

"Matt?" He asked warily.

"Just listen to me, love. A few days from now, say... Thursday night- Wait, you are a prostitute, right?" Well, I never thought I'd ever have to ask Mello that. First time for everything, I guess.

"Yeah, Matt. I'm a fucking whore." He sounded embarrassed.

"Alright, Thursday night, go to the smoke shop near here. Go through the alley and wait in the back. I'll help you get out of here, okay?"

"But what about you?"

"Don't worry, I've got my escape plan in place. I need time though." I ran a hand through my hair. "Um, a mafia doesn't, you know.." I took a deep breath, "Own you?"

"_Own_ me? Since when am I a fucking piece of property?! I'm a person, goddammit!" He hollered at me.

"Mello! Stop, just calm down. Who's making you do this?" If it was a mafia who owned him, I was screwed, hell we both were.

"I don't know. The three Mexican guys that own this place. Mark, Chris and Diego."

_Thank God! _They were just perverts who loved money. "You could get away from them so easily, Mello."

"Great, I'm glad someone told me so early on." He said sarcastically.

"Mello, Mihael. I don't want to fight, let's just.. Enjoy this before I wake up, okay?" I wrapped my arms around him, closing the distance that had been too far for much too long.

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"This is just a dream, I want it to end well." I smiled slightly, then muttered, "Unlike the last one."

"Mail, this isn't a dream. This is reality."

"Prove it." I taunted and he did. He pressed his soft, warm lips to mine, easing my frustration. I swiped my tongue across his lower lip and he granted me access. I moaned at the taste of chocolate in his mouth and pressed him against the wall. He unbuttoned my shirt, his slender fingers dancing down my chest.

Mello broke the kiss, gasping slightly and held the silver crucifix in front of my face. "Why do you.. Have this?"

_Fuck, he wasn't supposed to know about that. _I gave a small laugh. "I stole it from you."

"You _stole _my mother's rosary from me? Fucking asshole!" Mello's voice was filled with acid.

"Sorry, I wanted to have a part of you with me all the time." I admitted, going in for another kiss. He turned away.

"You could have stolen something else!"

"I'm sorry. You can have it back." I pulled it over my head, but he stopped me. "No, keep it."

"You sure?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I want you to stay safe." We were quiet for awhile, which was fine. I didn't want words to ruin this. "Matt?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not having sex with you."

I kissed his cheek, "I know, babe." A delicious pink color stained his skin. "Let's go sit down." I nodded towards the couch on the opposite wall. I sprawled out on the couch and Mello grabbed a bottle of vodka from the freezer and a pair of cups. "Plan on getting me drunk?" He shrugged and snuggled up to me. My current problems disappeared and it was just Mello and I. "I love you." I whispered into his hair.

"I love you too."

My breathing stuttered, "Y-you do?"

"Yes Matt." I could hear the smile in his voice, "I never stopped."

"I should go." He nodded and stood up and I kissed him gently as I buttoned my ruby colored shirt back up. "Stay safe and remember to meet me on Thursday."

"Okay. Don't do anything stupid."

I smirked, "You mean like I am right now?" Spending this much time with him was not a good idea, especially because if I slipped up, they'd kill him. Hopefully Rodney wouldn't recognize him with half his face scarred. Mello rolled his eyes and I walked away. My hand was on the doorknob when Mello said, "Wait, Matt!"

I looked back at him over my shoulder, "Yes?"

"I'll marry you."

A smile spread across my face, "Thank you, Mihael." I twisted the doorknob, letting myself out. The second the door closed behind me, I felt myself being lifted from the floor and found myself face to face with Jack. "We know what you're planning." He snarled. _Fuck._


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

Well, I was as good as dead. At least I'd die knowing that Mello loved me. I held up my hands in surrender, trying to appear as calm as possible. I smirked lazily. "Ah, damn it, Jack. How did you know?"

A smirk found it's way across his face. "First timers always want to bring prostitutes back to the base. You're going to try to sneak her back, huh?"

So that was what he thought my plan was? Oh thank God! I had half a mind to start doing the jig. I chuckled, "Ah, yeah. She's pretty hot, I wanted to spend more time with her." Well, hey, I wasn't lying.

"Go back and get her." He let go of my collar and I landed back on the floor. I shrugged and turned back around, opening the door. Mello turned around and I saw his cheeks glimmering in the light with moisture. _Was he crying? _"Hey, babe. Come back with us for the night." Mello nodded slowly and followed me out.

"What's your name, baby?" Jack asked as we walked back to the booth where Paul, Rodney and Joe were sitting. I had half a mind to attack him. _No one _calls my boyfriend "baby" except me.

I saw Mello grimace, no doubt that the Mexican trio had given him a woman's name. "Nyx."

I coughed out a laugh. Nyx. Of course. The Greek goddess of night, the one that gave birth to fifteen children, Apate, or deception being one of them. God, this was fucking _funny!_ It would have been funnier if they called him Aphrodite or an extremely girly name like Kaelie, but Nyx was still hilarious. She was often depicted as powerful and beautiful and only ever found lurking in the shadows. It was so amazingly fitting, but still funny as hell. My life was now complete. "Matt." Rodney smiled.

"Yeah, boss?"

"I bet you want to get her back so you can fuck her brains out, eh?" He laughed deeply.

I chuckled darkly, "Yeah, can't wait." I felt Mello cringe beside me. God, if Rodney and the mafia didn't kill me, I bet Mello would.

Rodney stood up with a huff and motioned to the others. "Come on girls." Were the five, er sorry, four girls back at base not good enough for him? On the ride back to base, I smoked through a pack and a half of cigarettes. Oh, _sorry_, I was fucking nervous! Give me a break. Traffic in LA fucking sucks, by the way. Back at base, I dragged Mello to my room without breaking our kiss. And guess what! I didn't knock over any of the damn tables that were scattered about. _Score one for Matt!_ Once the door slammed shut behind us, Mello tore away, gasping. "You taste like a fucking ashtray!" He spat.

Shrugging I said, "Sorry. I have an addiction."

"Why the hell do you smoke so much? I don't remember you going through two fucking packs in an hour!"

"I was nervous! The mafia fucking caused me to increase my smoking."

He rolled his eyes and kicked off his boots, "I don't know what you have to be so nervous about." His pretty blue eyes met mine as he peeled of his leather pants. He gave a contented sigh and unzipped his vest, leaving his body completely bare.

I couldn't help but stare, then I noticed something on his upper thigh. "When did you get a tattoo?"

Mello bit his lip and his face flushed a bright red. "Um.."

I tackled him onto the bed and sat on his stomach while I attempted to examine his thigh, which was damn near _impossible_ due to the fact that he was flailing about. "Sit still!" I grunted.

"Matt! No-! Stop it!" He begged.

"Mello, calm down. I just want to see the damn tattoo." With the way he was pleading, it sounded like I was about to rape him. _Something I wouldn't do!_

"No, please don't, Matt!"

"Gotcha!" I exclaimed victoriously, finally pinning his legs to the bed. Tilting my head, I saw the black cursive writing. _Mail Jeevas. _My name? I gently traced the tattoo, causing gooseflesh to erupt on his flawless skin. _He.. Tattooed my name into his skin for the rest of eternity? _"Mihael?" My voice cracked from the sudden rush of feeling. I turned to look at him, seeing his face in the deepest blush I have ever seen. I slid from his stomach and onto the bed beside him. Brushing the hair out of his face, I smiled my first sincere smile in a month. "That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."

"Y-you're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad?" I asked incredulously. Tears filled my eyes, "Thank you, Mihael." I stood up and flicked the light off and crawled into bed next to him. "I love you. I say it way too fucking much, but I can't tell you how much I do."

"I know you do." He whispered as I pulled the blankets over us. "And I love you too. Forever and ever."

I kissed his forehead, "Go to sleep, love. I bet you haven't slept well in awhile." I wrapped my arms around him, "Don't worry, I won't ever let you go." We drifted into a comfortable silence and soon after the sound of his light snores filled the room. I reached over him, turning on the lamp and studied his features. I watched him sleep for awhile, much like I used to when I had my bullet injury. I'm an insomniac, what can I say? Besides, he looks so peaceful in his sleep. Not being disturbed by the tormenting thoughts of his mother being dead or his father's drunken rampages, just a quiet, deep sleep. I smiled and began singing to him quietly;

"_Kiss me out of the bearded barley_

_Nightly, beside the green, green grass_

_Swing, swing, swing the spinning step_

_You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress_

_Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight_

_Lead me out on the moonlight floor_

_Lift your open hand_

_Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance_

_Silver moon's sparkling_

_So kiss me_

_Kiss me down by the broken tree house_

_Swing me upon its hanging tire_

_Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat_

_We'll take the trail marked on your father's map_

_Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight_

_Lead me out on the moonlight floor_

_Lift your open hand_

_Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance_

_Silver moon's sparkling_

_So kiss me"_

I kissed his forehead then leaned over to extinguish the yellow lamp light. "Goodnight, Mihael." I held him tightly against my chest and let sleep consume me.

* * *

**A/N: I figured it was about time to give you guys a nice, sweet chapter. This is like the third time I have used this song in this story! YOU GUYS NEED TO CHECK IT OUT IF YOU HAVEN'T YET! ****_Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer_**

**Class starts up again tomorrow, so I don't know how often I will be posting, but I will try for once a week.**

**Thank you all so very much for the amazing reviews so far. I love reading your opinions, they make me smile. Have a lovely day/night/afternoon/whatever time it is!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

I rolled over, seeking a source of warmth that I felt should be beside me, but instead, I found nothing but cool sheets and the feeling of emptiness. _Dammit, it was just a dream! _I honestly hated my amazing imagination sometimes. I checked the time with my phone, seeing it had just turned to ten o'clock in the morning. Well, time for another day in this hell. I blindly got dressed and snapped my goggles on, but I couldn't see out of my left eye. _If I'm going fucking blind, I swear-! _I pulled my goggles off and rubbed my eyes, then blinked a few times to test my vision. Crystal clear. "What the hell?" I muttered to myself and checked my orange tinted lenses, finding a piece of paper folded inside the left lens. Oh no. I swear if Rodney or anyone else walked in here while I was sleeping, they would all be dead. Laughing darkly to myself, I read the note.

_Matt,_

_Had to go before the sun came up._

_Stay safe, see you on Thursday._

_Love, Mello_

I couldn't help but smile. It wasn't a dream, I really had been with him last night. It was funny, how before I met him I hated people. Sure, I talked to Misa and Beyond and them, but it was never enjoyable. I thought love was nonexistent, that people were just being fooled. Never in my life had I believed someone could be so perfect and make another feel so incredible. The day I met Mello was like finally opening my eyes. I looked up at the teacher and saw a beautiful blond standing next to him. The teacher instructed him over to me and Mello looked at me like I was the most disgusting piece of trash he had ever seen. It scared me, but I liked it. I liked how he acted like I was nothing while everyone else tried their hardest to impress me, that's why I decided to try to talk to him. He was the only person I found intriguing enough to learn about.

I wondered how everyone was doing back home. I wondered if Faith and Kale missed me, if my mother spent endless nights wide awake waiting for the call from me that would never come and if my father comforted her late at night. I hated myself for leaving them again, but hopefully I would be back soon. If everything went as I wanted it to, then both Mello and I would be back home in within a month. Speaking of my plans, I had to go see my biological father about something. In the main room of the bunker, he sat on the old couch, prostitutes fawning over him as he smoked a cigar. "Hey, boss?" He inclined his head, acknowledging my question. "Our weaponry came in today. Want me to get it?" It was more than just the guns and ammunition he wanted, I also got some explosives for Plan: Escape the Hell Hole. Rodney didn't know about those and wouldn't until the day my plan got carried out.

"Yeah. Paul, go with Matt." Paul and I walked out of the bunker, into the blinding sunlight. I waited until we were away from view of the security cameras I had set up before tapping my ear, asking if he had any bugs. I wasn't stupid and I wasn't about to start talking to him about my plan until I was sure. He nodded, pulling his cell phone from his pants pocket and snapping it in half at the hinges, then chucked it deep into the alley. "That girl last night," he started, "She wasn't really a she, was she?"

I told the truth of course, Paul was my friend and I trusted him. "No. 'She' was a guy."

Paul nodded and ran his hand across the stubble that had sprouted on his cheek. "That's what I thought. Was that.. You know..?" Paul knew about Mello, I had told him one night when everyone was passed out and I was drunk. That was when I found out he had a wife and four kids at home, but wasn't able to see them. I also found out his wife had been a prostitute and that was how they had met. He helped her get out of the sex trade and they fell in love. A perfect Hollywood love story, except the fact that we weren't in the movies.

"Yeah, that was him. How did you know?" I asked as I lit a cigarette. I held out the pack to Paul who declined my offer.

"The way you two looked at each other. You're lucky Jack, Rodney, and Joe were all drunk off their asses before we had gotten there. They don't even remember letting a prostitute come back. You're lucky, you have to be careful next time."

"Yeah, I know. It's just been so long."

"I know how it feels, just be more careful." Paul said. Yeah, I knew he knew how I felt, he hadn't seen his family in five years. "What happened to his face?"

I flinched. "An asshole dropped a fucking candle on it." I growled. "No one fucking touches my boyfriend." Paul just nodded in agreement. Then I changed the subject, "Know how I'm going to finish one and a half cartons of cigarettes by tomorrow?"

"Why?" He raised his eyebrows at me, "What are you planning, Matt?"

A smirk pulled at my lips. "Which plan do you want?"

"The one that involves the cigarettes, I suppose." I think that's what I liked about Paul, he was always so calm and didn't freak out about things. I mean, Mello went insane about small things, but I loved him, psycho moments and all.

"Well, you see, I'm going to get Mello the hell out of here, but I need to get out of HQ and to do that, I need to run out of cigs."

"Why couldn't you just lie?"

Oh. _Oh._ That was a good idea. I'm really fucking stupid sometimes. "Because I don't feel like dying just yet." I offered. We arrived at the ammunition place, the back entrance of course and I pounded on the steel door. The rectangle of metal on the top slid open, revealing a pair of cold brown eyes. Being in the mafia made me feel bad-ass sometimes, that was about the only thing I liked about it.

"Name?"

"Jeevas." The tiny door slid shut and the heavy door swung open, letting Paul and I proceed.

"So, you wanted the handguns, explosives and ammunition for the guns, correct?"

"Yes." I said with a fierceness in my voice. You don't mess around with these people, you have to show them you're not afraid of them.

"Your stuff is in those boxes." The man said and pointed toward the wall.

"Let me use a car." I demanded.

He glared at me then nodded, tossing me a set of keys. "Red Chevy, out back, can't miss it." I pocketed the keys and set to work with the boxes, Paul followed the suit. Once safely on the road and away from the shop, Paul spoke up. "Explosives?"

"I'm going to blow up the base." I said simply and inhaled the smoke of my cigarette. "I'm getting out of that damned place."

* * *

**A/N: Short chapter, sorry. So, yeah, there's Matt's plan. I apologize if the writing quality isn't so great, I'm tired.**

**School kind of sucks already and I kind of miss my freedom, but whatever, it's my last year there and then I'm going to university. But I got a 25 on my practice ACT! :D Hopefully I'll get a 34 on the real one!**

**Anyway, your reviews make my day. Thank you all for being so lovely and taking time from your day to read my fic, it means a lot. **


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

Thursday. My last chance was today. Paul and I had decided to do the bombing today instead of in a week. Better probability of Mello's survival, I guess. In the past twenty-four hours, I had secured three first-class airline tickets to Baltimore, Maryland, where Paul's family lived. From there, Mello and I would go to one of four places; Russia, Alaska, Germany or England. Paul didn't know which place we were going in case he decided to betray us. Not that I believed he would, but just in case. I'm so damn smart sometimes.

Currently, I'm equipped with three expertly hidden handguns, ten thousand dollars in cash, the mafia members' credit cards and keys, a motorcycle key, Mello's passport and mine, and of course my goggles and the clothing I was now wearing. Taking a final drag from my very last cigarette, I punched in the number sequence into the keyboard with shaky fingers. My phone buzzed, alerting me that I had five minutes to get the hell out of here before thirteen strategically placed bombs went off. I stood up slowly, stretching my back and walking away as the monitors turned black, appearing to be off. "I gotta get some more cigs, boss." I announced and strolled out into the L.A heat. _Too damn ea-_ I gasped as I felt something strong constrict around my throat. A deep chuckle sounded from behind me, "What are you doing, Matty?" Jack's voice sneered, "Not deserting us, are you?"

I tried to choke out an answer past his muscled arm, but nothing came out. In the shadows I saw a figure emerge. The figure of Paul. He smirked bitterly, "Sorry, Matty, but _no one_ leaves the mafia. Once you're in, you're in for life." I squirmed and my vision blurred around the edges, darkening as it went. I am the _worst_ hero ever. This was it, after the lack of air knocked me out, I knew what they would do. The thought made me heave, causing a putrid mix of stomach acid and Pop-Tarts to splatter on the concrete. Jack snarled and released me, pushing himself farther from the sick on the hard ground. I gulped in the now rancid air. Glaring at Paul, I saw a bloodthirsty look in his eyes, one that owned up to his high rank in the mafia. He had the gun in his shaking hand trained on me. _When you fall fast, you fall hard._

Slowly, I withdrew my gun, aiming at the only man in the mafia I used to trust. I smirked sadly. "I can't believe I have to do this, Paul. I thought you of all people wouldn't crack." With a shrug, I continued, "Oh well. I guess I have to. Too bad Holly and the kids won't get to see you again. Anything left to say?"

"Matt! No!" He shouted desperately, switching his aim from me to Jack. I kept my eyes on Paul, knowing that if I looked away I would be shot. _Bang!_ _Thud._ I turned my gaze to Jack, seeing he was crumpled on the ground, a pool of ruby surrounding his head like a macabre halo. Another loud noise sounded, making my ears ring, followed by a second low thud. Paul was dead. I swore, shaking my head. I bit my lip. I couldn't cry now; I couldn't cry for a traitor. The blood wasn't on my hands. I checked my phone: two minutes and thirty-four seconds.

I tore off toward the smoke shop, causing people to call out in irritation at me, but I didn't fucking care. My feet pounded harshly on the sidewalk, throbbing more and more as I went. This was probably the most risky thing I had ever done in my life. Mello owes me for this. Wait, no, he didn't. This was the least I could do for him. I shook my head and ran faster. Arriving in the alley behind the smoke shop, I saw my boyfriend. Instantly, I felt lighter, like a weight had lifted from my soul. I sprinted toward him, taking him into my arms and holding him close as I tried to catch my breath. "Mello, are you-" I panted, "Okay?"

He pushed me away, "Matt! Go! Leave!" He shouted, a tone of desperation in his voice.

I was taken aback, "What? Mello, we have to go! _Now!_" I tugged him in the direction that I had hidden Rodney's bike, but he stayed put, yanking his arm from my grasp. "What the fuck?" I growled in frustration, "_Move."_

"I can't!" He hollered. "Matt!" His cry was cut short and he collapsed onto the ground, unconscious.

That's when I saw him. "Fuck, you guys?"

He was tall, with dark, evil eyes. He smirked, "We found out about your little plan," He had a thick accent, "You're not getting her. She's ours." With a snap of his fingers, two other men appeared from the shadows holding my boyfriend. The metal tip of a gun was placed against Mello's temple. He was bruised and covered in sweat and blood. His hair stained with crimson and black.

I took a step forward, "Mello-!"

The tallest man cut me off, "Take another step and your pretty girlfriend is dead."

I growled lowly and Mello let out a yelp. My anger was rising by the second. I kept my sight on Mello and the two shorter Mexicans. The one on the left was holding Mello tight in his grip, the one on the right had the gun resting almost lazily against the side of the blond's head. I threw my arm up, and shot the one holding the gun, he fell instantly, Mello flinched. I fired at the other one and he slumped into a heap on the ground, bringing Mello down with him.

"Hey, man. You killed them!" The leader growled. "Does that slut mean that much to you? He's worthless anyway. You can have him back. He was fun to play with, man."

That tipped me over the edge. I launched myself towards him, pushing him against the brick side of a building. "WHAT?!" I screamed at him. _Wham! Wham! Wham! _"Don't you-" _Wham! _"_Ever-_" _Wham! _"Touch my-" _Wham! Wham! _"Boyfriend again!" I punched him a final time and threw him away from me. I jogged past Mello, to the bike and wheeled it over to him. "Get on," I commanded in a voice that wasn't my own. With a sharp glare, he hoisted himself onto his feet and sat on the seat behind me. "Go." he hissed and I did.

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**A/N: Three freakin' weeks, guys! I'm so sorry it has been so long! I've been busy with school, work, and family things. And I didn't really like this chapter, so it made me not want to write. Anyway, I hope it's not too terrible. Thanks for all the reviews and I apologize again for such a late update!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

We had gotten plenty of dirty looks at the airport and now we were heading to Germany, where we would stay for the next month or so. Before we left, I called my parents and Misa, telling them that Mello and I were taking a vacation. In proper lighting, Mello looked, well, awful and I assumed I didn't look much better. I was probably covered in gore and I knew I smelled like it too. Mello hasn't said a word to me since we stepped in the airport. I didn't blame him, not really anyway. I've treated him like shit and God knows what he's been through in the past month. Every time I glance at him, part of me wishes that I had died, the other part wants to hold him and tell him how much I love him. But, whenever I tried to hold his hand, he jerked away with a look of pure disgust and hatred visible on his face, which makes me hate myself even more. _Fuck it all._ I glanced down at the screen of my PlayStation Vita – What? I had a storage unit with my games and some clothing, so I decided to get some things. I had been watching South Park on Netflix.

_"__Shut up, fat boy!"_

_"__Don't call me fat, fucking Jew!"_

_"__Eric, did you just say the 'f' word?"_

_"__Jew?"_

I chuckled to myself and tuned out, letting my thoughts wander. Maybe if I had given up on Mello when I had the chance, I wouldn't have dragged him into this. If I hadn't made that CD, he wouldn't have found it and came looking for me. Either way, it was all my fault. Suddenly, time disappeared.

_"__I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need -" I looked around, seeing my house decked out in Christmas themed items. I loved this too much. "Hey, ma?" I called through the melody of festive music._

_"__In here, sweetie." I followed her voice into the kitchen. "Aren't you leaving?"_

_"__Leaving where?" I asked stupidly._

_"__To see Mihael, it is his birthday." Her dark blue eyes shimmered, like a reflection of my own. I nodded, not realizing so much time had passed since the mafia._

_I suddenly found myself standing in a field of sparkling white. In my hands I found a bar of extra dark chocolate in Mello's favorite brand and a bouquet of various flowers and greenery. The flowers were in shades of reds and whites with sprigs of holly, mistletoe and cranberries. My feet carried me up a small hill, where a bare tree rested. Beneath the tree was a stone slab protruding from the snow crested hill. I cleared the ice and snow from the slab and read scripture._

_In Loving Memory of_

_Mihael Keehl_

_December 13__th__, 1989_

_Through_

_January 26__th__, 2010_

"_Forever in my heart,_

_my love for you will_

_never die."_

_-Mail Jeevas_

_Tears sprung in my eyes. What year was it? How had he died? What was going on? My chest ached as I sucked the ice needled air into my lungs through ragged gasps. My tears seemed to freeze on my cheeks. Those words.. I had written them into my wedding vows. Why were they engraved on his headstone? My knees buckled and I collapsed into the plush snow. I thrust the flowers and chocolate before the angry stone and gripped it hard. "Why?" I shouted into the frigid winter air. "What the hell happened?" I sobbed to myself, trying to feel something, even if it was the biting cold. But I was numb._

I blinked and looked around, seeing that night had fallen outside the airplane. Mello was staring out the window. Whether or not he was sleeping, I couldn't tell. I pocketed my Vita and stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"No where, love. I was just stretching." I looked at Mello for a long moment, before saying. "Did you want me to leave?"

"No." He said coolly and continued watching out the window.

I bit my lip in frustration, plopping back down in my seat. "Mihael," I murmured, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Did I do something to upset you?"

"Shut the hell up, Matt and leave me alone." I gave a small, sharp nod and began playing on one of the many hand helds I owned. I couldn't fucking concentrate, causing my character to die continuously and making my irritation flare. My foot seemed to have a mind of it's own and wouldn't stop tapping the floor. So many feelings coursed through me in such a short period of time. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to kill someone, I wanted a fucking cigarette for God's sake! After two hours of attempting to play my stupid game, I gave up and shut it down. With a sigh, I nestled into the uncomfortable seat, letting sleep take over my thoughts.

_I was running, from what? I had no fucking idea, all I knew was that I had to get away from whatever it was. I saw an angelic figure ahead of me, a faint white glow around it. I tried calling out to it, but my voice wasn't working. Just my fucking luck. The angel looking thing turned, revealing a softly tanned face with striking azure eyes. Blond hair fell just above those eyes and down to slender, yet muscled shoulders. The angel gave a sadistic smirk before I tripped and fell into a pit of blackness. The feeling of the fall was terrifying and seemed endless. Why hadn't that angel helped me?_

I woke with a start and the feeling of my arm throbbing. I squinted in the excruciatingly bright light, seeing a flash of golden locks. "What the fuck?" I wondered aloud, a little _too_ loud.

I heard a low chuckle on my right, I glanced over and saw Mello with a devilish smirk on his face. "Time to wake up, asshole."

I rolled my eyes, well at least he was a little bit _less_ of a bitch today. "Well, _someone's_ just a ray of fucking sunshine today."

The blond scoffed, "We're about to land. Besides if it weren't for the fact that you were the only one of us who can speak German, I'd be fine by myself."

"Ich liebe dich." I murmured.

"Exactly."

I smiled to myself, well, at least he agreed with me, even if he didn't have the slightest clue what I had said. The plane landed and we went through customs, navigating our luggage and finding a taxi. I couldn't wait until we rented a car, I love German engineering. But first, we needed to get situated in our new apartment. Then I could begin Plan: Find-Out-What-Crawled-Up-Mello's-Ass-And-Died.

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**A/N: I don't really know what I think of this chapter. I wrote most of it while I was freaked out about going to see the doctor. I hate that place so much. It makes me cry and they're going to make a clone out of my blood.**

**ANYWAY, I was wondering what you think about Mello being a bitch. Why do you think he's acting angry at Matt?**

**Thank you all for the fantastic reviews and reading my fic so far! It means so very much to me and all your reviews make me smile!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

Since we have landed, Mello has said maybe three words to me. Of those three words, not a single one was friendly, or even civil. Nope, they were all in the Mello's new cold and rude voice. So, a new plan quickly formulated as I drove down the streets of Germany, smoking away with a pissed off blond beside me. The silent treatment.

Mello coughed dramatically beside me, shooing smoke from his face. It almost made me want to apologize. Almost. "Could you stop smoking?" He asked angrily. _Huh, seven words now._ I shrugged and kept my eyes on the stretch of road ahead of me. Mello gave an irritated sigh. "Matt!" I ignored him, then was rewarded with a hard punch to my arm.

"OW!" I yelped, tossing a glare towards him. It hadn't really hurt, but it was probably going to leave a bruise. "What the fuck?"

"Now that I have your attention," he cooed, then ripped the cigarette from my lips, chucking it out the window. "Stop fucking smoking!" He growled, blue eyes ablaze.

"Fuck you." I huffed and pulled into the apartment complex's parking lot. Before I could stop the engine, Mello jumped out of the car and hoisted his bag from the backseat. I followed the suit as he walked into the building. In the lobby and above the receptionist's desk hung a large and ornately carved sign that read _Schwarzwald_. My gaze trailed down and landed on a pretty blonde with sparkling evergreen eyes and a spattering of freckles across her cheeks and nose. "_Hallo!_" she beamed. "_Ich heisse Katja. Wie kann ich Ihnen behilflich sein?"_

She looked so familiar. _Where had I seen her before?_ I told her that we were new residents here. She asked for my last name, to which I responded "Jeevas."

Katja's eyes grew large and excited. "_Jeevas? Matt?!"_ I nodded slowly, utterly confused as to why she seemed so excited. She smiled sheepishly and began explaining feverishly in her native language. Apparently she lived next door to my grandparent's house when we were kids. And I guess we played together all the time. With a twinkle in her eye, she handed me the keys to the apartment and told me to call her if we needed anything. Katja gave Mello a sincere smile, but it quickly turned uneasy. She cast a nervous glance at me as I turned away. As soon as we got onto the second floor (the elevator was broken), Mello slammed me against one of the beige walls, sending a framed painting askew. "What the hell, Jeevas?" He growled.

I held my hands up in surrender. "What?" I demanded.

"Who was that?" Mello's face was just inches from mine and I could feel his hot breath cascading across my face. I could just kiss him.

"Just-" I stopped myself. He didn't need a fucking explanation. The corner of my lips twitched upwards into a smirk. "Why do you care so much, Mels? You jealous?" I taunted.

"I'm not fucking _jealous, _you idiot!" He tore himself away from me and stalked down the hall.

"Where are you going?" I asked, still amused at the possibility that he was jealous.

"To our apartment, dipshit." Well, at least he was talking.

I tried to suppress a laugh. "Mels, it's this way. And besides, I have the keys." I said, dangling them in midair, as if to mock him.

He threw a threatening glare at me and tromped back over, snatching the keys from my hand. "I knew that." He muttered. As we entered our fully furnished apartment, I noticed how hellish Mello looked. It was worse than when I had rescued him. There were deep purplish-black bags beneath his eyes, as if they were bruises. His skin was a sickly, pale gray color, just like a corpse. My eyes trailed down from his face to his bare arms, which were skeletal looking. Hadn't he been eating? I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from saying something. _How did I let this happen?_ "What are you doing?" He barked out.

"I-I, uh.. N-nothing." I stammered.

I swear his eyes were colder than icebergs. "I don't need your pity, Matt." His voice was dripping with scorn. With a final glare, he turned and left me staring stupidly at the spot he was standing in. A door down the hall slammed, making me cringe. Tears clouded my eyes and there was a dull ache in my chest. Him walking away like that killed me. Shaking my head, I trudged into the kitchen, willing myself to cook my emotions away. Not that I ever ate any food I made; my family always did, their compliments always made me smile.

I began pulling ingredients from the cupboards, glad that I had family here to help me. I cooked for hours, letting myself forget the hurt. Yeah, so the fuck what if I was _cooking_ to forget my emotions? Tell me how manly I'm _not _being, I don't fucking care. It's not like I was smoking the night away and drowning in pity. At least I was being productive. I pulled the pan of _pirozhki_ from the oven and set them on the counter to cool. I eyed the food, all Mello's favorites, hungrily. _Well, not like anyone else is going to eat it._ I thought with a shrug as I dished up some _borsch _into a square bowl. Both these Russian foods were things Mihael's mom had made for him when he was a child. I sighed and sipped some soup.

"What the fuck?" I heard Mello murmur in astonishment.

I turned my gaze to the ghostly blond. "Uh, hey." I forced a smile. "I made some food."

He nodded awkwardly. "Yeah."

"Want some?" I asked, offering him my bowl of soup.

"Sure." Mihael whispered and gingerly took the bowl from my hands. He slowly spooned the hot liquid into his mouth, letting silence fall between us.

"Um, I made some _pirozhki _too, if you want some. They're on the pan. Help yourself."

"Where are you going?" He asked, noticing me shuffling towards the living room.

"Video games," I mumbled, "Important mission." I took off and flopped onto the couch and my mind switched from Cooking Manic Mode to Hardcore Gamer Mode in a matter of point zero-zero-zero-one seconds. Timed. Sometime later, I heard Mello's voice in the distance, what he was saying? I wasn't quite sure. So then came my generic response of "Mhm". He said something else and I _think_ I responded. That was the last I remembered before passing out from sheer exhaustion.

My neck was stiff and I felt like I had been hit by a freight train traveling at top speed. _Ugh._ Something was off though. There was a heavy weight on my chest, however, it was strangely comforting. There was the sound of light snoring close to me, like tiny snowflakes floating into my ears. I cracked my eyes open, seeing a slightly disheveled being lying across my torso. My fingers gently combed through silky golden locks that smelled of my shampoo and Mello all combined into one. I inhaled deeply, praying that he wouldn't wake up any time soon. I just wanted to lay here and bask in the most peaceful moment I have had in a long time. This was _my_ paradise, even if only for a second.

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**A/N: A relaxed chapter at last! Hope you all enjoy! (:**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

I now realized why I always had to keep busy. My thoughts wander _way_ too deeply into the dark, scary corners of my mind. Okay, maybe not _scary_, but definitely dark. Well, dark as in just before the sun rises. You get the damn point. Anyway, I began thinking way too hard about my life as I laid here with Mello in my arms.

Honestly, what the hell did I think I was doing? I'm not a superhero. I'm a fucking rape baby with a fucked up family. The only thing I do all day is play video games and sleep. I don't contribute to society, I don't try to help people. I just sit back and watch the world around me play like a movie. Basically, I'm just a waste of space and time. A shadow. An annoying shadow who fucks up everyone's life. If mom had gotten rid of me, she wouldn't have to worry about the mafia taking me away, I wouldn't have met Mello and he wouldn't have been a prostitute.

I sighed heavily and gently pushed Mello off of me. Damn, did I need a cigarette. Maybe my grandmother left some in a drawer or something. Heaving myself from the couch, I went to the kitchen. I began ripping open drawers and cupboards, shoving the contents aside in hopes of finding my beloved addiction. No such luck. "Fuck!" I swore, slamming my fist into the granite counter top. Yeah, bad idea. I hissed with pain and examined my hand, which was swelling up quickly. _Good job, Matt. Just go and break your damn hand because you have no control over yourself. _Granite Counter Top: One, Mail Jeevas: Zero.

I kind of just give up. You win, God, I quit. I'm done playing your game. Give me a bottle of Everclear to down and I'll be set. Mmm, sweet, sweet alcohol poisoning. "What's with all the noise?" Mello's words were slurred with sleep. Well, now I really was going to die.

"I, um.." I swallowed hard and looked down, seeing my car keys. "I have to go do some stuff." I scooped the keys from the counter and brushed passed the half asleep blond, who roughly stopped me.

"Don't leave," his voice was quiet.

"Okay." I agreed slowly. What the hell? Had Mello developed a case of bipolar disorder? At least he wasn't yelling. "Did you want to talk about something?" His only response was pulling me close and sobbing uncontrollably into my chest. My shirt quickly became soaked as I gently smoothed Mello's hair, promising that everything would be okay.

"Matt – No – I'm s-so sorry!" He choked out. His voice was muffled by both his tears and my chest.

I held him tightly, never wanting to let go. "You can tell me anything, love." I murmured.

"I c-can't. Matt," Mello looked up at me, eyes a vivid blue, shining with tears. "I'm so fucking useless. I can't even help you and then I fucking-"

I kissed him gently, smothering his words. "You don't need to apologize. I should be saying sorry."  
"But-"

I kissed him again. Kissing him was addicting, more so than my cigarettes. I just couldn't stop, but I had to. "No, Mihael. Stop apologizing. I'm the one who got you into this mess. If I hadn't talked to you, you would be back home with Misa and Beyond and I would be in the mafia, being their stupid helper monkey. I shouldn't have left that CD laying out for you to find. Hell, I shouldn't have even made it. If this is anyone's fault, it's mine."

His soft lips turned upward into a pained smile. "I'm sorry for treating you so badly."

"Don't worry, I deserved it." I murmured, nuzzling his neck. I kissed his sickly colored flesh, nipping gently and pushed him against the counter top.

His grip on me tightened. "Mm. Matt?"

"Yes love?" I spoke into his neck.

"I.. hah.. love you.." He breathed.

I pulled away from the bruise I was creating on his neck and looked into his pretty blue eyes. "Ich liebe dich auch." And with that, I hoisted him onto the counter and began kissing him violently. After several short minutes of kissing him, he pulled away with a devilish grin. I raised my eyebrows at him. "What?"

His grin faltered and was replaced with pure terror. He slid off the counter and onto the floor, hurry passed me.

"Mello?" I called. The only response I got was a door being slammed and the sound of running water. I stood in the kitchen for a few moments, dumbstruck before I tracked him down to the bathroom. Knocking on the door gently, I called his name. "Mello? Are you okay?" he didn't reply. "Answer me please?" A hint of desperation crept into my voice. "Mihael! I'm coming in!" I pushed the door open. _Thank you doors without locks_. There sat Mello on the floor, forehead pressed to the ceramic tile on the wall. I knelt beside him and turned the shower faucet off. "Why did you run away?" I asked gently.

"I can't Matt. I can't do this!"

"Do what?"

"Be with you."

That hurt. A lot. I lost my words for a few moments and we sat in silence. When my voice returned, I spoke softly to keep the pain out of it. "That's okay. Just let me help you until they're done chasing you. After that, you can leave." _And I can disappear. _He turned his sky blue eyes on me and I offered what I hoped to be a convincing smile. "Go take a shower. I need to go get a few things. If you need anything, my number is on the PlayStation in the living room. See you later." I stood up and left him in the bathroom, tears stinging my eyes and threatening to cascade down my face. Never in my entire life have I felt so miserable. I never knew that one person could destroy you with a few simple words. I didn't think this could happen to me. This was why I didn't talk to people.

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**A/N: Wow, am I awful at updating or what? And then I give you a mildly depressing chapter. What kind of person am I? Geez. Anyway, sorry for such a late update. But thank you all for being amazing and giving me feedback on this. It means a lot. Hopefully the next update will be sooner.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

I ran into Katja downstairs, literally ran into her. She fell back onto the lobby's floor, causing papers to fly everywhere. "Dammit! Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going!" I knelt down and began picking the papers up when I heard her laugh. Glancing up, I saw her twinkling green eyes sparkling and her hair was twisted up in a braid. I never noticed how beautiful she was. I smiled apologetically.

"Nein, nein. It's okay." Her voice was heavily accented with the German touch. It was pretty sounding, to be quite.

"I'm really sorry. I just.. It's nothing." I put the papers back into the box she was carrying and stood up with it in my arms. "Let me help you." I offered my hand and she took it. "Where do these go?"

"The, uh, printer. I will show you." She took me back to the small room behind the front desk. "Right in there." I nodded and put the paper into the industrial sized printer.

"Okay, well, I need to get going. I'm sorry for knocking you down. See you around." I headed out, but Katja stopped me.

"Um, Matt?"

"Ja?" I turned and saw a hint of blush spread across her freckled cheeks.

"Would you like to go out with me sometime?"

I hesitated, but then made up my mind. Well, why not? Against my better judgment, I said, "Okay. What time do you get off work?"

Her blush deepened. "Six."

I smiled, "I'll pick you up then. See you." And with that, I left. Let's see, it's about one right now. Five hours to kill. Great. Well, good thing jet lag had caused me to sleep well until noon. Starting the rental car, I decided I would just wander around town, buy some cigs, get some good food into me, and perhaps buy some clothes for me – and Mello.

_Mello._ I couldn't even think about him without my heart feeling constricted. How pathetic. I banished him from my thoughts and set out to find a smoke shop.

I really love driving. It makes you feel so free, especially when you spent the last few months in basically solitary confinement. I'm never going back to L.A. Ever. Too many painful memories in that trash heap of a city. _Wait, wasn't I supposed to turn back there? _I checked the rear view mirror. "Goddammit!" I growled, guess I'm going to another city. Fuck everything. _Happy thoughts, Mail. Happy thoughts._ I told myself this, but it wasn't working and my nicotine withdrawal was not helping either.

Finally, I drove into some town that had a smoke shop and clothing stores and such. I strolled into the smoke shop, seeing an old man at the counter who greeted me cheerily. I smiled and asked if he spoke English. He gave a short laugh and shook his head. _Damn, well this was going to be interesting since I forgot the word for cigarette. _I pointed to a rack of cigarettes behind him. He raised his white eyebrows at me, questioning. "Ja." I nodded.

"Wie viele?"

Well, I most certainly did not feel like driving out here every week. "Zehn." He looked shocked and I just shrugged. He told me the price and I handed the money over to receive my addiction. _Fucking expensive addiction. _"Danke schoen." I said grudgingly and left.

The day passed by quickly, and I decided I should head back to my temporary home so I could get ready for my date with Katja. I was _really _starting to regret this. I just wanted to play my video games and sleep and- I stopped myself. _Do not even go there, Matt. _I needed to go on this date. I also needed a shower.

As soon as I got to the apartment complex, I grabbed my new clothes and such from the trunk of my car and hurried into the building. I had twenty minutes to pick out an outfit, take a shower, get dressed and get distracted before I had to leave for my date with a certain green eyed blonde. Throwing the shopping bags onto the dining table, I sifted through them, grabbing a blood red button down shirt and a pair of dark wash jeans. Hey, no sense in not looking good. Walking into the bathroom, I swiftly stripped myself of the grungy clothing I wore. Oh, how I loved hot showers. Honestly, if there was one thing I loved more than cigarettes and video games it was hot showers. Okay, that's a lie, but it ranked pretty high up there.

I dried myself off the best I could with a towel and wrapped it snugly around my hips while brushed my teeth. I was about to get dressed when I realized I didn't have clean underwear. _Good job, Matt. You are now the smartest person alive. _Well, I had three options; One, I could go commando. Two, I could wear the boxers I've been wearing for the past week or so. Three, I could grow a pair and grab some from the room Mello was sleeping in. Yeah, I didn't want to do any of those things. So, I put on my jeans without my boxers and got rather.. Well, pleased by it, if you know what I mean. Which I had to solve because I'm a sexually frustrated man. Yeah, get over it. I honestly didn't want a random boner in the middle of my date tonight, so option one was ruled out. So, option two. I took a whiff of my well used underwear and nearly threw up. Looks like option two was a big "no". Oh, I swear God gets so much joy from torturing me like this! So, I tightened my towel and marched into the single bedroom in the apartment and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him.

Mello looked like an angel. His golden hair was splayed around him like a glowing halo and there was finally a tint of color in his cheeks, even though he still looked sickly pale. But he looked so peaceful! It was so surreal and I felt like I was seeing him for the first time. I inched closer, trying to see him better. I took a deep breath and reached out, wanting to touch those silky gold locks. But I stopped myself and continued on with my mission. Digging through my duffel bag, I found a pair of clean boxers. I stood up and heard Mello's sleepy voice, "Matt?"

I cringed, dammit. Turning around, I forced a smile, "Oh, hey Mello." We gazed at each other for awhile, his eyes intense. Slowly, he raked my body and I felt exposed. I looked down in embarrassment, then to my horror, saw my towel had slipped off. Mello apparently noticed too.

"Uh.. Matt? Why are you naked?" I felt my face grow hot. He probably thought it was because I was standing there in the nude. But honestly, I was thinking of all the things I could do with Mello while being naked. I covered myself anyway. _Come on, Matt. Where's that sarcasm?_

"Like what you see?" I asked like the conceited bastard I was.

Mello threw the blankets from his slender body and crawled toward me. He drew himself up onto his knees and looked me over, "Mm.. Matt, you have no idea." He kissed me deeply and of course, I kissed him back. The taste of his lips was heavenly. How had I gone so long without the taste of him? We made out for awhile before I pulled away.

"Mihael.. I.. I've got to go." I murmured and gave him a soft peck on the lips. Walking out of that bedroom was the hardest thing to do, and I know I'll regret it, but Mail Jeevas does not break promises.

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**A/N: Oh my God, you guys. I am so sorry for taking so long to update! I'm horrible, I know. I feel terrible. Anyway, all of your reviews make my day and they are so wonderful! Thank you all for being lovely people and bearing with me and the long time I take to update things!**


	26. Update

So, hey guys. I was hoping I wouldn't have to make a post like this, but it looks like I am.

I am taking a break from this story for a bit, hopefully I will be back by March, but if not, expect June or July. Life has just been really stressful lately, and I am under so much pressure. It has been really difficult to deal with all this stuff going on.

I am truly sorry for making you guys wait so long and hopefully things will get better soon.

Have a lovely morning/evening/day/night.

Sincerely,

CapnBrie


	27. Chapter 26

**Part Three**

_**Mello**_

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

I couldn't breathe. It felt like someone had knocked the air from my lungs. I felt sick. Like I was going to throw up my guts all over the plush carpet. I felt like I was going to die. Everything was hell. I wanted to give up. Just give up and die and that be the end of everything. Maybe I could kill myself. It's not like Matt would care.

Sitting up, I threw back the blankets that covered me. My vision was blurred by my puffy eyes and tears. I deserved this though, I deserved ever last bit of pain I was feeling. I didn't deserve Matt, and that was a fact.

I made my way to the kitchen, digging through the drawers, looking for my treasure. I felt my lips curl into a smile when I found it, the long silver blade glinting in the shitty lighting. To test the sharpness of it, I ran the blade over my thumb, surprised that I didn't feel it rip through layers of skin and make me bleed. Perfect. Maybe I was too far gone to really feel anything.

Positioning the butcher's knife on my forearm, I prepared to cut into the pale flesh that I called my own. One deep cut and I would bleed out and Matt would find me dead on the floor. I am such a fucking coward. Oh well. I began to press the cool blade into my arm when someone exclaimed, "What the hell?!"

I jumped, the knife slipping from my grasp and clattering loudly on the floor. Spinning around, I saw a terrified Matt staring at me incredulously. "Mello..?" His voice was weak, "What are you-? Why are you-?" His mouth hung open as his eyes shifted from my face, to my arm to the meat cleaver on the floor. I hung my head in shame. Suddenly, Matt's strong arms were around me, crushing me into his chest. The air in the room was filled with heavy sobs, whether they were mine or Matt's, I couldn't tell. We stood there a long time, holding each other. He pulled back and looked at me, rolling his thumbs over my cheeks to whisk away the tears. "Mihael, what were you doing with that knife?" The look in his eyes made the sick feeling return to the pit of my stomach.

"I.. Matt..."

"Tell me. Tell me now." He commanded.

"I was going to.. to k- to kill myself..." I could barely hear myself speak.

"Wh-Why?" His voice was trembling, just like my body was.

"You don't love me." I said again in my barely audible voice.

"Mihael, look at me." I turned my eyes to look into his navy blue one. It stung and I wanted to jerk free from his gaze. The sick feeling in my stomach intensified, I felt so horrid. He was going to tell me how awful of a person I was, he was going to tell me I should have ended my life months ago, I just knew it. I waited for it, but no words came, just his intent gaze. Finally, he spoke, "Mihael, I love you more than anything in the entire world. And the fact that you think otherwise hurts me in my soul. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have helped you get away from the mafia, I wouldn't have brought you here. I wouldn't have known you for this long. You are the single most important thing to me and nothing would ever change that. I can't believe that you were going to try to kill yourself. If you were going from this world, I would die. Mello, you are so fucking perfect that it hurts me. Because I know I can't be who you need me to be and I so badly want to be that person, but I can't. Mihael Keehl, I love you with everything that I am and don't you dare forget it."

My heart swelled, did he really mean it? Did he really love me? "Matt.. I love you too." And with that, we kissed.

I forgot what it was like to kiss someone you were in love with, what it felt like to be cared about so much. I felt like I was flying. Kissing Matt was like magic and made me feel as if I were the most important thing in the world. Kissing like this, with so much love and passion was the best thing ever, even better than sex. I wasn't used to kissing like this, the careful and gentle way he caressed my lips with his instead of the sloppy and rough way I was used to during the mafia days.

I pulled away and smiled blissfully. "What do we do now?" I asked Matt, my brain high off a dreamy rush of endorphins.

"Whatever you want, love." He murmured and kissed me again.

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**A/N: Hey everyone, I am back! Short chapter, I know, but I needed to get into things again. I promise the next chapter will be longer and will be updated in a more timely . . . time . . . frame.. Yeah.. Anyway, hope y'all enjoy and thanks for being patient.**


	28. Chapter 27

_**Before you read: This chapter contains smut, so if you do not like it, please, do NOT read it!**_

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**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

After our make out session, Matt had instructed me to shower and be ready be seven. I had no idea what he had planned, but I followed his orders anyway. Now I was standing in the bedroom's walk in closet (no pun intended), looking myself over in the mirror. I was wearing my favorite black, leather boots, which were scuffed a bit, but still looked nice; along with a black pair of jeans that Matt had set out for me. A dark blue, button up shirt covered my torso and a silk, black tie hung loosely from my neck. I braced myself before looking at my face. I met my icy blue eyes in the mirror and smiled, they _were _just like my mother's. The right side of my face was smooth and flawless, the skin was a little on the pale side, but still looked beautiful. The left side, however.. It made me cringe. The skin was puckered and red, uneven ridges covered the surface. It was hideous and I hated it. I bit my lip as my forehead came in contact with the cool mirror. _Why me? _Ever since the accident, I had avoided looking in mirrors. Until now, that is. Hot tears slid down my cheeks. I could never be enough for Matt.

"Mihael?" Matt called in that perfect voice of his, "Are you almost ready?"

I cleared my throat, "I-uh, yeah. Be right out." I gave a heavy sigh and wiped the tears from my face. As I stepped out of the bedroom and into the dark hallway. The faint aroma of cooking food wafted down the corridor and I smiled. "Matt?"

"In the kitchen, love." Matt was cooking? For me? I walked cautiously into the dining room and stopped dead in my tracks. The table was set for two, with two lit candles in the center, along with candle spread throughout the room for the perfect lighting. "Matt?" I said again, this time, whispered.

Strong arms wrapped around me from behind. I breathed in his warms scent and turned towards him. A sweet smile was played across his lips. "Are you hungry?" I just nodded in response, too awed to respond. We sat down and began to eat, halfway through, I paused. "Mail, can I ask you something?"

He looked up at me through his lashes, then set down his fork, "Uh, yeah. Sure."

"What brought all this on?"

He blushed, "You don't like it, do you?" He hung his head, "Fuck, I'm sorry.. I just thought.. I don't know.."

I reached across the table and touched his arm, "Mail, I love it."

"You do?" He asked hopefully. I nodded sincerely. "I just, well, Mihael, I haven't been treating you right, and I wanted to make it up to you."

"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously.

"I-"

"Mail, you have been nothing but nice to me and you're _apologizing_? I'm sorry for being such a dick." I dropped my gaze to the table cloth. "I'm just scared."

I heard his chair scrape against the wood floor and suddenly his lips were at my ear, "Want to tell me what happened?"

"I- yes. Let's go to the living room." I stood up and sat on the couch, Matt did the same.

Matt's rough hands held mine tightly as we sat in silence. "Well?" He whispered.

I took a deep breath and focused my gaze on our hands. "Ask me something."

"How bad was it? What did they-" He swallowed, "What did they do to you?"

"Actually, most of them, the men I slept with, they weren't so bad. But others, they.. They treated me like garbage. They would fucking cut me and burn me and just.. Horrid things.. I fucking hate them, Matt. Some would tie me up, sometimes the rope would cause me to bleed and there's.. There are scars everywhere. Sometimes I would be tied to a bed for days, until Diego or Mark found me to cut the ropes. My hands would lose circulation, my nerves would get pinched and I'd be in pain. I would do coke and heroine to forget things, to forget the pain. And then would be laid up in best for a week from withdrawal." I tightened my grip on his hands, trying not to cry from the painful memories. "I have so many scars and I feel worthless. Every time I see them, I remember how I got them, each and every one."

"Can I.. Can I see, Mihael?" Matt whispered.

"What?"

"May I see your scars?" I stared at him in disbelief for awhile before quietly whispering, "Yes." Matt reached behind the couch and flipped the lights on. He slowly unbuttoned my shirt, making me grow scared and anxious. As he slid the fabric away from my chest, I felt exposed under his gaze. He traced each scar and faded bruise gently with his finger tips. His fingers pushed me back onto the couch so I was laying down, he knelt beside me on the floor.

"What are you-?" But before I could finish, he kissed me.

"Mel, keep talking.." He murmured against my lips and pulled away.

"About what?"

"Just anything. I've missed your voice so much." He whispered, "I've missed you." The look in his eyes told me that he meant it and made me want to talk.

"I've missed you too, Mail." I whispered back. "I hate fucking Los Angeles so much. I never want to go back there. But that night I saw you at the strip club, I couldn't believe it. I was so shocked and the way you looked at me.. I'll never forget that." I lost myself in his touch. His slightly calloused finger tips glided across my torso, as if he was trying to take away the scars. I continued talking, not sure of what I was saying, but I didn't care. All that mattered were Matt's hands and the fact that he was touching me. He planted a kiss on the middle of my chest and worked his way down to the top of my pants, then back up again. _Tease. _

"Did you just call me a tease?" He murmured against my skin.

I chuckled. "Didn't mean to say it out loud." I began to talk again, but stopped because the feeling of being touched in such a loving manner was too much. Matt pulled me into a sitting position and pulled my shirt from my arms. "Ich möchte dich ansehen." I had no idea what he was saying, but he raked his eyes over my bare chest, smiling to himself. His eyes met mine and he grinned even more. "Absolut perfekt." The rough quality to his voice sent shivers up my spine as he pushed me back and straddled my hips.

"Mail?"

"Hm?"

"Come here." And with that, I pulled him down by his shirt collar and kissed him roughly. An eternity later, he pulled away, trying to catch his breath. "Mi.. Mihael.." He kissed me again, sloppily, but I didn't care. Pulling away again, he wiped his mouth. I gripped his jean clad thighs, "Fuck," he groaned. I pulled myself up so I was face to face with him and attacked his neck with kisses and gentle nips. He moaned out in pleasure and ground his hips against mine. "Mello, I need you so badly. Right _now._" I tore his shirt off in response and clawed at his belt buckle. "_Someone's _eager," he laughed and undid his jeans and threw them from himself, along with his underwear. Mine came off next. "You are so fucking perfect, Mihael." He whispered in my ear, stroking my member. My hips bucked and I gritted my teeth, trying not to let a moan escape my lips. "Do you want to do this, Mihael?"

"Y-yeah." I panted, reaching for him.

He caught my hand, "Are you sure? You're not going to regret this?"

"No! I'm not going to regret it! Just-" I gasped as Matt's fingers teased my entrance, "Stop teasing dammit!" And before he could respond, I crushed my lips to his as he prepped me. He added another finger and curled them inside of me. A wave of pleasure washed over me and a moan reverberated through my chest. "F-fuck, Matt." I growled against his neck as my fingernails bit into his skin.

"Mm, what was that?" He asked, his voice dripping with lust.

I rocked my hips against his, "I need you." I said desperately. He muttered something about going in dry and removed his fingers, pressing the tip of his length into my entrance. Matt's eyes met mine, silently asking if I was ready, I nodded and he slowly pushed himself into me. I cried out in immense pain, but kept my eyes on Matt's face. Time seemed to slow down as I saw how much bliss Matt was in. His head tipped slightly back, navy eyes half closed, and his teeth biting down on his bottom lip.

Suddenly, I felt my back arch, pressing me against Matt, urging his to move. And he did just that. My thoughts were gone, every worry I ever had was gone, the world was gone. It was just Matt and me. A flash of white passed over my eyes and I spilled my seed onto our chests. Matt finished moments later. He pulled himself out of me, caressed my face and kissed me gently. And that was the last thing I remembered.

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**A/N: Woo. Finally a chapter that isn't horridly upsetting/full of angst! Hope you all enjoy and thanks for all the lovely reviews!**


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